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I feel numb from within shattered and I don't want to wake up anymore...

as a child I never was stable emotionally never saw happiness but I had gone used to feeling that way, when I turned 15 I met this girl whom I fell in love with after 2 years of friendship she said yes we dated for 6 years and 7 months ago she left me suddenly out of the blue, we were in a long distance for about a year where I visited her often but eveything seemed fine suddenly she started to disconnect. we were about to get married but due to reason delayed the marriage and she left me few months later. she was the same person who used to cry knowing I had to leave for my home in a day.. and now she's blocked me and doesn't even text once.. I did everything for her I was ready to move there I bought a house for us to stay near her family everyone at her home loved me. now I feel m still in shock I feel like crying and screaming calling her up begging for her to just come back when I close my eyes I see our memories I feel I want to tear of my chest so I wouldn't feel this way, she told me she was tired of my side of the family not accepting her but I was there for her I left everyone and everything for her but I don't know why she did this .. I feel someone has taken my soul out of my body I feel burning inside all the time I have no motive to wake up in the morning I don't get happiness in anything anymore I don't have the guts to take my own life so I keep bearing this.. I miss her at the same time hate her for what she did she broke me in a way that she doesn't know I feel I died inside all is left is sadness burning feeling soulless I feel someone has taken everything for me. we fought together with the world to be together but she left ..
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Avatar universal
Been there, done that.  I've had 4 breakups in my life that were like that.  Only time fixes this.  You are grieving.  I have been broken up with by people who never told me why.  Never.  Maybe they didn't want to hurt me, maybe they didn't even know.  But the fact it happened four times to me tells you that eventually I met someone else.  I know it doesn't seem like it will happen now, but if you can let time heal and find things to do in the meantime that are meaningful to you and have friends or family to spend time with, eventually, the hurt doesn't ever go away completely but it becomes a memory you think of sometimes while you wait for your wife to get ready.  It will happen.  
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