Obviously, you're not going to get better if you don't mention you're suffering from anxiety, not depression, or at least that's what you're saying here. HOCD is a label that doesn't really mean as much as you think it does, it just means you're anxious and insecure and it comes out that way. For others it comes out in other ways. The treatment is the same, but it's very different than the treatment for depression. You're also not supposed to like your therapist, you're supposed to let them help you get better. If you're not going to work on it, there's no point in going. And if you don't mention what's really bothering you, or at least what you think is really bothering you, no therapist can help you. Now, this might not be the right therapist for you, and it might not even be the right form of therapy for you. There is some reason you're seeing one. My suggestion is, if your life needs help, give it a try, which means telling your therapist what's actually going on. Also consider that by not being willing to tell anyone about this, you're mystifying it, making it more of a thing, not less of one. Frankly, a lot of therapists are quite pleasant and they chat and chat and it's nice, but it doesn't accomplish anything. Working in therapy is hard, not fun, and it's also hard to get success in therapy. But if you don't try, you won't learn a thing and it will be a waste of time.
You know, this made me a little sad to read. When do we get the most out of therapy? When we embrace it for the purpose it is supposed to serve. When we want to feel better. When we are trying to make a life for ourselves that is authentic and running better than it has been. You sound like your parents signed you up for therapy you don't think you need. So, it's not really serving a purpose. You know?
The way I looked at therapy is your own personal cheerleader for improving your life. If you aren't connecting with this therapist tell your parents that. You may find another you connect with better and who you feel more open and safe with to share what you are hiding and needing to discuss with someone. Maybe they will go for it. But otherwise, you are kind of just wasting your time and their money.
What prompted them to send you to therapy? Are you depressed in that your anxiety issues and ocd issues make you feel depressed? Or can you switch the therapy to talking about the ocd/anxiety? Even if you are not yet fully ready to disclose everything inside of you, can you ask about how to get over intrusive thoughts and anxiety? That may be the very best route.
Hi wookie, were you able to talk to your parents? How is it going?