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Avatar universal

I hate my life

I think i might be depressed but i dont no of any way to try and get over it. I have been to my gp and he recommended that i should read a few books that he gave me the title of. I did this but they never helped me. But now all the doctor is saying to me is to write things down. I keep a journal but this doesnt seem to help, it only seems to make me cry. I have recently graduated from uni and i thought things would start looking up for me. but after 4 months i have no job. I have been in this town for 6 years and i dont have any friends here. I have a boyfriend who i live with but when i try to talk to him about how i feel, he only ever says to me to go to the doctors if you feel like that. I have tried so much to get a job and to make new friends but no one seems interested in getting to know me. I spend all day alone now at home and can easily go 10 hours without talking to anyone. I have tried involving myself in events and offering to help out whenever anyone needs it but i always get turned down or ignored. If i do involve myself i tend to be left by myself no matter what the task. I actually think that people just are not interested in getting to know me at all. My boyfriend hardly ever includes me in any his social activities and if i ask to go along he is not interested and sometimes tells me that his friends dont like me. If i do go out somewhere with him he leaves me sitting by myself while he goes of and talks to others. Ive tried talking to others too but i get one answer responses as they walk by me. I am so down, i really dont know what to do to try and change things. I come from a big family and i am use to being surrounded with people. I really hate being by myself. Is there anything you think i can try to help boost my confidence and try to get some friends or a life. I am almost sure that i suffer depression but i dont know how to pick myself up
thanks for reading this
miss_teeq
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Avatar universal
Hi there,

I hate to say this to you but it sounds quite a lot like your boyfriend is actually the problem. You say he won't talk to you about how you feel, won't include you in his social life and tells you his friends don't like you.

What do you actually get from this guy? He sounds like a pig frankly, selfish and self centred to a tee.

Being shy is an issue, I had it big time when younger and it's so hard to overcome.

You actually sound quite strong despite the clear isolation so I wouldn't say you are depressed. Could be or could be on the way there but the big clue to me is the doc only gave you books to read, hopefully self help type books. Usually a GP will just prescribe meds if you say you are depressed so I feel you aren't there although loneliness can feel much the same.

I can't tell you how to live your life but my suggestion is to think deeply about your relationship and decide if you want him and the things that go with him or not. I do feel the longewr you experience this environment the more likely you are to descend into depression.

Try not to be afraid of the future and the unknown. Any change is scary but if you are in a bad situation the only way to change that is to leave it behind. I'm male by the way and I have to say I'm ashamed of his treatment of you.
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Avatar universal
First of all, see a psychiatrist to either confirm depression, or rule it out.  I don''t believe that nobody is interested in you.  Maybe you're trying too hard, I don't know.  Take a close look at your actions, are they truly friendly, are you bossy, opinionated.  I'm not saying you are, but under these circumstances you have to look at everything.  For example I went thru this same thing due to shyness, but others thought I was "stuck up!"  Your boyfriend should not choose his friends company over yours!!!  Plus, for him to tell you that they don't like you is just downright mean!  I don't think he is good for you and you truly deserve better.  He is doing nothing to help your self confidence, or you.  It sounds like you're doing everything you can, but for some reason things aren't clicking, don't automatically assume it's you.  The real trick to happiness is to enjoy your own company, it's okay to spend time alone.  I get that it can be lonely (we all go thru that) but for now just persue things that interest YOU, always be yourself and things will fall into place, I promise!  Continue looking for a job, stay active with things you enjoy, take walks, stay as busy as possible.  Just by doing what you enjoy most will make you happy and you will start to meet new people.  Instead of putting so much effort into analyzing what is going on, just accept that this is how it is right now, won't always be this way, and move forward.  If you like dogs, a puppy is great company, keeps you busy and laughing, and while taking it for walks you will meet others.  Just please stop trying so hard, be yourself and start doing things YOU enjoy.  Plus, take a long hard look at your boyfriend and ask yourself why he would always leave you alone, and then add insult to injury, by saying his friends don't like you.  Do you truly want to be with such a heartless person?  Life is too short for this, you're not going to be liked by everyone, nobody is, but by just being yourself and making people live up to your standards instead of you always trying to live up to theirs, you will be respected and people will want to be your friend.  Unfortunately, we live in a society where people who try to hard are not respected, and pushed aside, it's sad but true.  Start living your life, and the rest will fall in place.
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