I want to die.

[MissMess]

I'm 15, and really, there is nothing ALL THAT WRONG with my life. My parents are ok, I have some friends. But I am so desperate. I can't sleep at night, I've stopped all the activities I used to like. I dropped out of school, I was failing anyways because I couldn't find the strength to open schoolbooks. I used to be good at school. I didn't cry and then start laughing out of nowhere everyday. For no reason. And yet I seem so happy to everyone, I am happy and jumpy and energetic and talk like a train around people. Then I come home and just want to die. I harm myself in any way I know. I used to cut myself but then my parents found out- I'm seeing a psychologist now. I bang my wrists against hard surfaces. I smoke just because I know it's bad for me. I drink every time I can and end up doing stupid things. I want to kill myself so bad, and yet I don't want to die. Death scares me. I don't believe in god. I dont believe in the existence of love. I don't believe in people. Some days I'm just crazy energetic and some others I lie in bed all the time, hugging my pillow and crying for all of it to go away. My moods are crazy. One second I'll just start crying with no reason, or get the urge to call my frineds to go out. It all hurts so bad.
Why should I want to live?
What is the REAL reason for suicide to be wrong?
What if there's nothing to live for?
I just want to drink and **** and do drugs and kill my brain and pretend I'm happy.

[paracelus]

I am a 61 year old man who Washington fired from his job. That was a month ago. I'm out of money and hope. I tired so damn tired of all the platitudes and cliches of why not to do yourself in. I would have done it long ago but I gave all my guns away after listening to such BS. Now I lack the means for a quick and relatively painless death. I am now looking for means.

[Hopelessgirl12]

I'm Hannah I'm 12 and live NY anyway the post I read about u touched me and I feel like that because I lost all of my closet friends I had and I hate that sometimes just want to cry or cut myself it's like no one cares about me In school and I do have friends but when I'm in need there's no one to face im scared and just wanna die sometimes

[lexywillis]

well i understand what you are feeling i used to be the same way. i am but a year younger than you i used to have unexsplained moods swings,suicidel tendencies ect.. i started smokeing when i was eight years old and i am working on quiting, anyways i know it may seem like you have nothing to live for but everyvody hs a purpose in this ****** up thing we call life i also have a hudge fear in death yet i wanted to die so bad it hurt you just have to remember ppl tend to throw rocks at things that shine just keep your head up sunshine everything will be ok and ALLWAYS remember you are beautiful!!! (:

[depressed13]

i know...but no God won't he loves you and absolutely NOTHING will change that

[inconfusionalways]

sorry you feel that way and I understand about being depressed. but suicide is not the answer. I am not trying to make a diagnose but it sounds like you are bipolar, have really bad mood swings or you have experienced something traumatic that no one knows about, and if thats the case you really need to talk to someone. good luck and get help you are too young to be thinking like that you have your whole life ahead of you.

[PleaseHelpMe1981]

I thought I was the only one..I understand...my sister who is 23years old comminted suicide a month ago. I have a fell into a deep depression and all i want is some1 to talk too. I feel like nobody cares about whats going on & feel a alone..theres not more than a hour that goes by that im not crying..outside..work it dosnt matter..i cant stop crying..stay strong try to talk to someone like from a church that dosnt cost anything