If you have OCD and/or MDD please come in...

[surro88]

Hi all, I am new to this forum, although I have been lurking for a while to find answers. I will try to make this question short.

I was diagnosed with severe postpartum depression after my daughter was born in 2010, but nothing has gotten better. I used to have anxiety and impulsive beavhiours when I was in my teens, so this has led me to believe that this isn't something that is going to get better anymore.

I feel like I have strong OCD tendencies, but cannot find other people to related to. I don't have your "typical" obsessions so I was wondering what those with OCD thought about my symptoms...

I check my weight EVERY DAY at the same time, same way, etc.
I have a pregnancy test obesssion and I spend hours looking at pregnancy tests on the internet
I obsess about my mental health and constantly try to find answers online (what brings me here!)
I constantly think I'm pregnant, even though we're using protection, and I continually check by using HPT's when it's clear that pregnancy couldn't have happened that month, etc

Does anyone else have random thoughts like this? Why hasn't my pdoc diagnosed me with OCD?? (I don't you can't answer that!) This weekend I've had a lot of reoccuring suicidal and homicidal thoughts towards my family...another one of my obsessions. I'm afraid I'm going downhill again, as I'm super sensitive to my feelings/thoughts.

And just so you know, my current med regime is this:
Pristiq 100mg
Abilify 10mg
Wellbutrin 300mg

Thanks for reading...

[wendyoto]

For over 20 years, i have had a horrible obsession that i can't get rid of. I think, in my case, there's unresolved anger/stress/jealousy that keeps triggering it. I suffered/suffer greatly over it. Just focus on what's in your heart not in your head.

[CatherineYah]

Hi, Im new here too and by no means an expert on OCD, but I ca relate to or understand everything you mentioned. Checking is a common obsession in OCD, and the searching the internet is a type of 'reassurance', which OCD sufferers frequntly seek out to resolve their anxiety. I understand this myself, I dont chck the internet bu am always asking people the same question in different ways until the answer they give, it doesnt have to be positive, 'feels right' and gives me closure, allthough it obviously doesnt last.

The checking thing is actually becoming more relevant to me now, recently i've had to keep rechecking my e-mails, facebook and bank account, several times a day. If i do one i have to do them all and even if I can see there are no unread messages, I still click the inbox. I guess it just makes me feel like i've cmpleted the task. I've read somewhere that people with OCD have trouble breaking off with a thought or something, whch I understand. The most annoying thing is when I look at something, say an empty inbox, but I just cant take it in. I have to analyze the fact it is empty and let the feeling of processing this and coming to a conclusin wash over me, but its hard forcing the analysis of why its empty, how I know its empty etc. I dont know if you experience the same thing but thats how my 'checking' is normally resolved.

I hope I helped, i'm pretty sure what you are experiencing is very common with OCD sufferers and there are probably a lot more people who will share their experince.Good Luck :)

Btw, this is a good link which explains alot about seeking reassurance, especially from the web which my help you, as it seems to describe what you do. Hope it helps you feel better in some form
http://www.ocdla.com/blog/reassurance-seeking-ocd-anxiety-597