I’m so depressed

[Mas23808]

I’m suffering from depression and anxiety, I feel like I have no one to talk too. I was already a anxious person due to the whole pandemic , and trying to protect my kids and keep them safe, however since getting the Pfizer vaccine, I have that all these side effects and I can’t stop crying. I’m not sure if my anxiety and depression has made this side effects worse or they are just from the vaccine. No dr will help me or take me seriously.
I honestly do know I suffer from health anxiety but it’s just a whole néw anxiety after taking the vaccine. It started with a abnormal heart beats. Too my whole body broken out in a blood spot rash, to getting pins and needles and now eye floaters. Sometimes I don’t want to live. I just don’t want to do this anymore. I was never like this,

[shadowmed]

I am so sorry to hear of your symptoms. I also suffer from depression and anxiety and have tried many meds over the years.

I do agree you should get your symptoms checked out if they are bothering you.

If it’s any help, I do know that anxiety can change heartbeat and cause palpitations. It is pretty horrible when it happens, I also know my heartbeat was affected when I caught a UTI. So who knows what is causing this in you? I’d def get a urine test done if you can; you may not have symptoms.

It sounds like you were very stressed and anxious about getting the vaccine. Not having a choice about which vaccine would make that worse. I get the impression that people in the US have been given many more conflicting messages about vaccines than we have in the U.K. Most people I know here have had both vaccines - different ones at different times - and I cannot think of any of those personal contacts who had anything other than marginal side-effects, like slightly sore arm or feeling off-colour for a couple of days.

I was also concerned about getting the vaccine, but at the same time I was so glad it was an option, having lost two close members of my family to Covid. I was expecting side effects, as most seemed to get them, but was surprised not to get any. In fact, I was wondering if they’d even given me any vaccine the first time! Now that I’ve had both doses without side effects, I was obviously very fortunate as all I noticed was a slightly tender area at the vaccination site.

In short, I really don’t know whether you are suffering from acute anxiety or side effects - or if acute anxiety is a side effect, though it sounds like it was present beforehand.

If it’s any help, most of us had multiple vaccinations as babies and children and we are still alive .  Like I say, worth getting your symptoms checked out if they are persisting. Having seen a friend go through acute anxiety and depression, I can say that it can be hell - anxiety about food and eating, upset at seeing the news on TV, jitteriness, nervousness,  being unable to sit still, making involuntary repetitive movements, fear, panic, inability to sleep and crying.  These are severe symptoms but I mention this because people sometimes think anxiety cannot affect you physically but it can.

I hope you find an answer to your symptoms.

[specialmom]

Hi there.  I also had a lot of side effects from my first dose of the Pfizer vaccine. I've come to learn this is because I Had covid prior to getting it.  I guess those who have tend to have more side effects.  For me though, they all went away.  I still have covid side effects 10 months later. My smell and taste are still WAY off.  This is really annoying.  But I'll live. I hope I get my senses back fully. And it makes me wonder about other things.  But I have a stressful home situation currently, so that also could be the real cause of the issues I physically suffer,

AND, I've also had health anxiety. For me, when it is just health anxiety, when distracted, I don't notice any symptoms. Then when not distracted, there they are. Sigh.  So annoying.  Is that you too?

I am a fan of a full  physical.  If you had covid, I'm not sure if they could do an antibody test on you to determine. Unrelated to getting the vaccine, there is long haul which I've heard can cause anxiety and depression. Worth asking about.  But mental health is treatable.  If you pass the bill of physical health, mental health is the next step.  A therapist is excellent at working on coping skills, looking at root causes in a safe way, etc.

[Mas23808]

Hi thanks for reaching out to me, I’m not sure if I have ever had covid, I don’t think I have, not sure really, I won’t be able to check any blood work at the moment for antibodies as the government isn’t allowing us. As long as the vaccine is rolling out we don’t have access to checking antibodies or exemptions. The only time you can get a exemption is if you suffered heart damage or anaphylaxis. Besides them to reasons they don’t give out exemptions. I’m scared to get the second dose , I still haven’t recovered from the first: I made it clear to my dr , I will not be having the second dose, yes I have suffered through health anxiety in the past, but I was able to manage it. But I dont think what’s happened now it’s a whole new set of anxiousness and depressing, on top of my physical symptoms that the vaccine caused.
We were not really given a choice eith the vaccine to satrt with and I stumble to getting it out of fear , we have been told covid can kill us without us knowing. So my fear drive has been put into us if we get sick from covid. I don’t want the doses either. I fear for myself , my husband in even his double dosed and especially my young kids. I live in a state where we have been locked up for 4months. Now it’s reached 80% double vaccinated and they are opening up recklessly, no one cares , they think they are 100% protected against covid. My kids are suppose to start school Monday and that’s another situation I’m worried about.
I’m glad all your side effects went away, how was covid for you when you had it? I’m 36 I have had the one dose , I’m hoping it gives me some sort of protection

[Paxiled]

Unfortunately, while the first dose does give you a bit of protection, it's the second dose that cements the protection and elevates it to a level that makes it worth getting.  If the side effects are too much to take, it's a tough situati0n.  Most of the side effects one gets from the vaccine are much more likely to get just be getting the flu and way more likely by getting covid, which makes it even tougher.  The main reason I got it at the first opportunity, as I was originally going to wait and see how it worked out since it was developed so quickly, was how bad covid turned out to be even for those it didn't kill and I realized it was my obligation to protect others.  I'm now about ready for the booster, and I will also get that.  To top that all off, I even got the flu shot the last two years now, the first time I have ever gotten it as it doesn't actually work all that well but in a pandemic you do things you wouldn't do otherwise.  All that goes into the hopper when we make our decisions.  For me the biggest tilt was the way it was mutating and spreading; it just had to be stopped and the only way to do that is for pretty much everyone to get vaccinated.  Otherwise, it will just be this way forever.  At any rate, you do have some protection.  If you've had covid, which you don't know and probably haven't, it gives more protection.  But again, it's the second dose that actually is the vaccination; they go together.  Waiting isn't a terrible thing, though, as it appears that a bit of time between doses increases and elongates immunity.  You and your doc will make a decision, and then you just live with it.  I'm not sure I understand, though, why y0u can't get tested for antibodies to see if you had it.  That doesn't make sense, as testing is still a big part of how we deal with covid.  It's also done for those who were vaccinated, in trials, which is how we know how long the protection is lasting.  So that part makes no sense to me, are you sure you've got that one right?  I hope whatever happens, it works out.  If it were me, I'd be so angry at getting rare side effects I'd probably get the second vaccine just because I already went through so much, and I'm a big anxiety sufferer, but I do get it.  All the best.

[Paxiled]

The first thing you need to do is check with someone with expertise in the side effects from the vaccine that have been reported.  If yours match up, the second thing to do is see if they went away.  In other words, you may have side effects from the vaccine, and you might just have something else going on.  With any new medication nobody knows for certain how every individual is going to react.  With time, more is learned.  But anxiety and depression are far different things than rational worry about something that's happening or the pandemic.  I think most of us who have anxiety and depression would much rather have a physiological problem, because anxiety and depression magnify everything, create their own physical problems, make it very hard to deal with problems, promote avoidance, and isolate us.  So as much as I think it is important to keep tracking down the truth about your physiological sensations, dealing with the anxiety and depression are far more important.  If you break down what you're reporting here, you have an uncomfortable sensation, you had abnormal heart beats, you had a rash, you have eye floaters.  Step back and ask yourself, do all these very separate sensations seem likely to originate from the same source?  And second, if you had these before the pandemic and the vaccine, and before you got anxiety and depression, would they be so incredibly bad you'd want to stop living?  That's what mental illness does to us, and so it's far more important to get treatment for that.  Not that you shouldn't, again, pursue the why of your sensations, and the fix for them, but you have kids and you have the responsibility to be the adult in the room.  It's hard.  I've been fighting this trash for years and years.  Fix that by getting into therapy with a good psychologist and go from there.  It's the most important thing you can do right now.  The other stuff will probably, even if caused by the vaccine, go away.  Peace.

[Paxiled]

And if you get to the point where you really do want to stop living, you need to go to the ER and get a psychiatrist for medication.  You will get past this.

[Mas23808]

Thank you paxilled, after your comments I took some time to think about what you were saying. It put some things in perspective, I still have high anxiety and so on, but it’s certainly calmed down a little especially after speaking with my dr aswell.