Is it more than depression?

[jbop]

I'm concerned about my mental health. A brief background of me, when I was 14 I experienced seeing things far away as very close, seeing ghosts, and feelings of being followed by ghosts. I was not able to see a psychiatrist or psychologist. When I was 21 I became so depressed that I refused to open my eyes, I just lyed in bed and said I wanted to die. When I was 23 I started experiencing feelings that I was going crazy. I thought people were looking in my windows from outside and became convinced that people did not like me and were talking about me. My memory has started failing me. I sometimes cannot remember simple things like my phone number (i remembered after 10 minutes) or a friend's boyfriend's name (someone had to tell me). I'm 25 now and I tried Seroquel which helped me feel relaxed and like tasks were manageable. Also, my feelings of going crazy stopped. I can feel when I'm about to go through a mood change, I just can. When I'm in them I feel like I'm unable to control myself. I clean, stay up all night, talk incessantly, take on HUGE projects like rearrange all of my furniture or organize all of the contents of my drawers. I've injured myself when I'm like this by lifting things too heavy, my injury kept me out of work for a month. When I get out of these moods I have a hard time remembering them but I feel like I was another person. Sometimes I do better in school when I have those moods than when I don't-and sometimes I can't remember things I must have learned in that mindset. What's wrong with me?

[jbop]

Well, keeping a log book does sound like a good idea. The reason I haven't had consistent care was because I didn't have insurance so the medication was given at the emergency room. I want to approach this in the way of diagnosis and then figuring out how to manange it without medication if possible.

[jbop]

I have gone to psychologists and psychiatrists, which is why I was given meds. I know that the things I experience are not normal so I do need help from someone licensed. I was just hoping that somene on here has experienced similar problems and could offer some insight/relief for me.

[george73]

Have you tryed a mental health doc.? If you have heart diesese you go to a specialist. Do so for your mental health. You sound like you are very parinoid and maybe even have other problems that go along with that. It shouldn't be an embarresment to go to a specalist for your mental health then either. It is just another one of those 'hangups' some Americans have. :) Start by making a appointment with a mental health doc. They should be listed, in the phonebook, under Mental Health. If you can't find anything call your doc. and ask for a referal. Some doc. are reluctant to give one and we have to insist!
I REALLY think this is imperative.