Thanks, I appreciate your concern and advice.
I'll give it a bit more time, but believe I should be able to get along without it. Others in my bereavement group have/do use medication and believe they are more settled, but bereavement goes on. None have found a magic pill.
Suppose if all my mental problems are in fact mental/ruminating, not chemical, chemicals will not provide much relief. Or maybe the mind being as powerful as it is on our health it causes a chemical unbalance that the pills will help control and may be needed only temporarily.
My main therapy strategy is to increase my volunteer work to hellp others and to via that path to establish new friendships. Loneliness is the main struggle, I think.
I think I am not mentally ill, well not more than "normal" : )
There are newer medications, but I'd rethink your approach. Everyone young and old feels grief when losing loved ones -- that's not depression, that's sadness. If you've researched these meds, you'll find they're no picnic to be on and are very hard to stop taking -- they're not magic pills. They are also harder to handle as you get older -- I'm also no spring chicken, but I've been suffering from anxiety for many many years and been on several meds for it. I'd be more inclined if I were you, given you've had a long life without mental illness, to consult a psychologist or grief counselor and know that only time will fix this. Again, I speak as someone who takes these meds and if you can stay away from them you're much better off. When they're necessary, there's not much you can do, but I don't think, at least from what you say, that you're in that category. Peace.