Killing myself

[KAK43]

I want to kill myself right now but i know it would be such a selfish how can i stop

[bell24]

im sorry kk43 ,i was called off just after  i asked you would you like to talk   family business  thats all i can tell you  ,but i knew there would be good people on mh or you to talk to ,and i can see that now ,god bless ,

[momeluv]

Please forgive the typos &  misspelled words!  It was late and I did not proof read!

[Bob_D]

Dear KAK,

I once felt as you do now, so I understand your pain. I am happy to tell you that there are techniques available that can help you feel much, much better in a relatively short period of time.

How we feel is largely determined by what we say to ourselves, as poster "fivekids" touched on.

Consider this: I'm sure you have seen people on television who have committed terrible crimes or who are living in morally degrading ways, people who do not appear to hate themselves the way you say you currently do. So why should they feel good about themselves when you don't? It's all in what you "say to yourself".

You mention three problems in your post. Let's look at them one at a time:

1. You say you are addicted to medication. You are not alone in having a substance abuse problem - it's very common. There are ways of dealing with it. You might start with a Narcotics Anonymous meeting, or if that is too scary for you, there are recovery chat rooms where you can talk anonymously with people who have had the same problem. The addiction could be the most substantial part of your emotional problem since your medications are almost certainly affecting brain function.

2. You say your marriage is falling apart. Again, about how many million couples in this country do you think that is true of? Why don't you just leave this one alone until you get a handle on your addiction and depression problems?

3. You say your daughter hates you. I imagine that happens to most parents in our somewhat warped culture. Without knowing anything about your situation, let me guess that if your daughter says "I hate you" to you, she actually doesn't. She may hate the limits you, as a responsible parent, place on your behavior , but at the root of her being she loves you. Adolescent kids really don't know anything, so I suggest you learn how to filter out her noise.

I can recommend a book - "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" by David Burns, Amazon, $7.99 if you would like to start immediately down the path to feeling better. Of course, if you can afford a therapist, that would probably be even quicker.

I urge you to take some action immediately and I wish you the best of luck.

Bob D

[Lyn1958]

I suffered from severe depression for more than 6 years.  Ongoing, taking medication that mucked around with my thought processes.  It got to a point where the anti-depressants had the opposite effect and started to make me depressed.  Came to a point where I turned up at my doctor's one night, in tears and suffering so badly I don't even know how I drove myself there, only to be told by my doctor of 30 years that he was going to put me in a psych ward if I didn't stop the thoughts of not wanting to be around anymore.  He put me on medication that he said "these will work.  I put my nursing patient homes on these."......... yeah right.  and become a vegetable.  After 3 days in bed and unable to think or work or even eat, I totally lost it and I knew then that it was the medication ruining me emotionally!!!!!!!!!!!  I stopped the medication and went and saw a hypnotherapist.  Not a hypnotist that makes you talk like a duck but a proper medical hypnotherapist who works on the subconscious.  I have never looked back.  He was amazing.  Totally conscious throughout the 2 sessions I had but walked out a new person.  I would never have believed that I could feel good about myself again and regain my self confidence and self esteem.  All the anti depressants made me do was feel worse, lose faith in my own abilities and have those around me lose faith too.  That was almost 12 months ago and I feel like a new girl.  Don't give up.  You are a very special person but you don't feel it or realise it at the moment.  Try to track down a good hypnotherapist, a properly registered one and have a few good "heart to heart" chats.  It will get better.  And when it does get better, there will always be the "not so good days" but I can assure you, few and far between!!

[momeluv]

LW said a mouthful, I was told that exact thing 30 yrs ago and say it to any one who has ever expressed the desire to end their life!
"SUICIDE IS A PERMANENT SOLUTION TO A TEMPORARY PROBLEM"
I know that it doesn't seem so temporary when you are in the middle of it all, but believe me, this too shall pass!  What ever it is came to pass it didn't come to stay!  I will pray for you love, and if you need a friend, all you have to do is reach ot, there is somebody here that will walk through this with you!  We are all suffering in one form or another, and with each others loving, caring compassion we will all come out on the other side!  Maybe a bruise or two, a scrape, a black eye or a fat lip, but will can get through it.  Some body loves you, and there is someone some where that is glad that you are in their world!  I will be hee if you need to talk.  God bless you!
Peace be yours,
momeluv

[lonewolf07]

You already did stop from committing suicide - you posted a message in this Forum.  Do you think you just want to kill the pain and not your body?  My youngest daughter hates me too.  It sounds like you have a lot of valid reasons for wanting to commit suicide.  Maybe you can put it off for awhile until you talk to somebody about it.  Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

[fivekids]

Lots of teenagers hate their parents so don't take it personally.  Get in to see a dr. tomorrow or go to the ER.

[KAK43]

thank you I do want to talk its hard to even start talking about everything. I just had a mini sezuire about an hour ago. im addicted to so much meds. I tried to stop but i cant, my marriage is falling to peices and my 15 yr old daughter hates my gutsI have already taken 5 seizures in front of her when she was 10 yrs old now its happening again

[bell24]

what is the prob ,why do you want to kill yourself ,would you like to talk about it ,im here if you do ,