I am going to message you later on in the day :)
I completely get what u r saying I have felt that way about God too. I am not the most religious person in the world and I do not trust in God the way I ought but I do not think he has abandoned you if thats how u feel, he expects you to keep the faith however and believe that he will see you through, it's tough it really is because u feel like ur back is against the wall but "pray without ceasing." Write letters to God and express how u feel he will read them.
I was actually going to title this post "God hates me" but because of my OCD I was afraid he's smite me or something.
I used to have so much faith in God. I used to think that things do happen for a reason and that he would help pull me out of this dark time.
But my life has been in shambles for years and I don't feel God in my life anymore. I feel as though he has abandoned me and is punishing me for reasons unknown. I've tried to be the best person I could in life, and look where its gotten me.
Always remember this saying- it will pass,because things don,t stay the same forever,eventually things do get better it,s just a question of when.Hang in there and eventually you will come out on top.All the best.
I know the feeling and believe me it's rough but hang in there it sounds simple and God knows it's not easy but it is the best advice life changes dramatically from easy to hard and vice versa. No matter what we have to survive that's y it's called life dear. Never stop fighting even when u think u simply cannot go any further u would be suprised and strength within u. And seek the help of a professional, talk about it sometimes a listening ear can help so much.
I hope it all works out :)
I know how you feel. A lot of people on this sight do. PLEASE look for something optimistic. There must be something hopeful in your life.
I'm hoping you pull through this dark time.