Major Depression & ECT Question

[Carroll75]

I was first diagnosed with depression in 2001 or 02 after having a PFO or hole in my heart repaired and lengthy recovery.  Then in 04 I had meningitis and later a devastating car wreck.  This left me unable to continue my nursing career due to a back injury.  Finally, in 2011, I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia.  Between 2005 and 07 my spiral downward began with major depression.  Between 07 and 08 I was hospitalized several times and received approximately thirty something ECT treatments.  These have left me with a virtually non existent long term memory and impaired short term memory.  I am so sad, angry and upset.  I cannot remember working as a nurse, how to nurse or my life with my family since my husband and I married 32 years ago.  This is the most important of all.  Has anyone had experiences with ECT of this nature?  Any recovery of the memory with this many treatments?  I welcome any input.

[Carroll75]

While memory loss is a common side effect of ect, I want to know if it is ever going to better?  It has been seven years and my memory has not improved.  I think if I knew I am never going to get better then I could work on coming to terms with it.  All these years, I have not known how to feel or what to think.  Have you any idea how it is to not remember when you got married or when your children were born or the most wonderful days of a person's life.  Those are gone for me and only recreated for me by my husband. I feel so empty, so lost.

[lilymoon]

All I know is memory loss is a common side effect of ect

[Carroll75]

I am not sure I understand what you are saying but then I haven't read the article yet.  I am still suffering from the depression (oh how I hate to admit that) and I also have the wonderful anxiety and panic attacks.  Additionally, I have chronic back pain, fibromyalgia,  and migraines.  I am so sick and tired of all of this.  I just want to get all better, put all this behind me, have my memory back, quit going to the stupid therapist and pscyh and live the proverbial happily ever after.  I have nightly nightmares of people trying to hurt me and/or working in the hospital but not being able to do anything right and everyone hating me and telling me how awful I am and telling me to leave.  It is horrible.  I never sleep a night.  I am scared to go to sleep for what it will bring.  

[greenpc]

Heya I had a look around for you and ran into this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electroconvulsive_therapy. Seems like it is only a short term issue :) However, if you are still suffering from depression then it is very important that you realize that it could very well be the main cause of the memory loss and not infact the ECT. I am suffering from anxiety after using a legal synthetic drug and have battled in dealing with this fact. Understanding that it is actually my depression and anxiety that is causing the memory loss and not anything more serious, like a horrible permanent effect of the drug. I think understanding all these things really gives us a better outlook into the situation as a whole and will ultimately help you get through :)