Avatar universal

My depression, anxiety, and derealization.

Hi, my name is Meara and I am 14 years old, going to be 15 in March. I have been dealing with on and off depression since I was about 10. Then when I was 12 I had my first anxiety attack and after that I had anxiety attacks several times a day for about a year or so. Now, for about a year I've dealt with on and off derealization disorder. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this disorder, I basically feel like I am living in a dream, like nothing is real. Now, people always ask me this question; What causes this? Well, my answer is always the same... Nothing, it is completely random and I don't know why. People never understand this and I can see why. Anyway, those 3 disorders are coming back. I am a freshmen in high school and I am starting to get anxiety attacks during school. When I get one in school, there's nothing I can do but wait it out. But, basically every morning I have been feeling just detached from the world and my surroundings. I feel sad and hopeless, and on the verge of an anxiety attack. Even though I've been through this before, I feel like I'm never going to get better, like I will never feel good ever again. I forgot to mention, my depression is bipolar, I will be perfectly fine one minute, then the next I feel as if I am alone and hopeless. This really *****. I currently take 75 mg. of zoloft, and I have been taking that for like over a year. However I started at 25 mg. But, does anyone have any advice? Anyone who has been through this before or currently is going through this struggle? Seriously, any help is greatly appreciated. Will I get through this and be happy one day?
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Avatar universal
Thank you a lot, I honestly really appreciate this. I will definitely try the breathing thing you said to do in school. I am fighting it and I feel normal sometimes, then the next second, completely miserable. But thank you, and I'm going to try some of the things you said!
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1390847 tn?1344657468
Hi, I'm sorry you have to go through all of this. You're right, this really does suck. I was in your place at about your age as well. Derealization is pretty scary and it is really hard to understand. For me, derealization was a side effect from depression.

I also have an anxiety disorder that used to run my life basically, especially in high school. I would have panic attacks at school all the time and a lot of the time I'd go to the nurse pretending to be sick (my anxiety symptoms made me feel like I had the flu- nausea, muscle aches, feverish feeling) so I could go home. If you're in class and feel an anxiety attack coming on, because you're in school and can't really distract yourself- the best advice I have is to take slow deep breaths. Breath in as slow as you can and once you've taken in all the air you can, hold it for 3 seconds and then slowly breathe out. When not in school though, try and find little things that make you feel better. For me, I discovered that reading really helped my anxiety. It sort of forces me to go out of my own world and concentrate on someone else's, which eased my anxiety. Other things you could try are drawing, running, watching a movie, taking a walk outside, etc. I really recommend taking a walk, it helps clear your mind and there's a lot to see around you that can get your mind away from panicking.

As for depression, I'm still trying to figure out myself what helps. Honestly, when I'm feeling really depressed sometimes I put on some really sad music and just cry really hard until I can't cry anymore. Then for some reason I tend to feel better after that. Having a good cry is healthy sometimes. Running seems to really help me as well. It does release "happy" hormones so there is a science behind why people feel so good after runs. Surround yourself with friends and family, distract yourself with a hobby or a sport, etc. Different people tend to find that different things help them.

I really do believe that you will get through this and be happy one day. I've struggled with horrible, crippling depression and anxiety that was so bad I would have multiple panic attacks every single day and I felt like I missed out on a lot because of these issues. I never thought I would be happy, but I did get there. Now, my anxiety only shows up once in a while. I think a big part of that was really knowing the anxiety and myself. Recognizing the symptoms and remembering the tiny things that helped. You will get there and be happy, I promise! You seem pretty intuitive of your feelings now and that's a really good trait to have. Be strong, know that you are absolutely not alone in this, and fight this!  
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