I am trying to prove my family wrong because they think i am attractive. I am none of these things, I am literally ready to kill myself because i am nothing but stupid and that everyone senses this as signals and completely avoid me. This had caused me to become very depressed and mentally ill. I chopped all of my hair off until is was ear short on both sides and tried isolation tactics. Never came out of my developing loss, i was stubborn because i did not understand what it was to be loved. I live with my grandparent and they have to deal with my mood swings because of hallucinations that have recently stopped and ongoing voices inside of my head being heard aloud like they are real or something. I am turning 18 years old very soon and i hope for things being likely enough to change my life and get rid of my big time mental illness for it has ruined my everyday life in this big world full of kind and yet ignorance.