If you've thoughts of suicide and any, even the mildest interest in acting on such thoughts, I urge you to promptly contact your local suicide/help hotline (likely listed prominently on the inside cover or pages of your Phone Book), visit a hospital Emergency Room, or talk with a counseller about your level of distress.
I think part of your pain is having difficulty coping with high levels of nervous tension / anxiety over your situation. May I message you with a list of links to my posts with anxiety management tips?
Sure if you think it would help.
I've changed my approach to having this list posted on my Profile.
Please feel free to visit my profile's Journal.
Just one question -- are you saying the only people you feel close to are people you only communicate with by device? Do you lack friends who are there in the flesh where you live? I'm just wondering, as this might be something your parents are concerned about.
No, I have a lot of close friends i talk to in person and even have some amazing times with, i just cant really open up to most if any of them. Also the people close to me who iI can only talk to by device, a lot are people who've moved away and i was once really close or some I've met through these friends and have grown really close to.