Slightly depressed

[Andrew590]

It's not really depression but I have very low self esteem and as a result I am very insecure and in a round about way I get slightly depressed. I am not a depressed person but it is a very though thing to go through a relationship with low self esteem and strong insecurities it puts a dampering on the relationship. How do I get past these things without drugs? I want to control it not hide it.

[claudicakes]

hey

Low self esteem is negative thoughts which in turn lead to negative behaviours...depression can be caused by a chemical imbalance, and it can also be caused by learned behavior not to mention negative feelings...if you dont think you are good enough for your relationship then imagine what it would do to you it ended, you would probably end up depressed...and continue to think you were not good enough even more than now..so you see its a flower that grows and you planted the right seed..talk therapy can discover why you feel this way and how to boost your self esteem..also doing things that make you believe in yourself to prove to you that you are good enough..ALL OF US ARE capable of being the best, but the imagination is infinite, we tend to think the worst always when its less likely to happen than something positive....set yourself free

[jo929]

Have you considered group therapy, it can do wonders for some people, it may just be the thing you are looking for to build your self esteem, also there are group therapy for depression, if you feel you do not want to see a dr try these things first, i am a firm believer that if anything else will help medicine should be last, but if you find that you can not cope with these things then do not hesitate to take the meds a DR prescribes, make sure he knows just how you feel first, or you could see a counselor you have taken the first and most important step by asking for help,, so that means that you are sincere, so you could get some books on self esteem, but i think you need to be around people, that have the same problems that you do when i was a young person, i was so insecure, as we were so poor, and my clothes were barely fitting and the kids made fun of me in school, so when i was 20 i was so bashful insecure my face got red if someone spoke to me  one day i went to visit a person in the hosp she was talking to a Dr, he said come on in i stood there i was introduced and i went to seeher every day and i would try to hide or look away because i figured he did not want me there one day he talked with me in the hall, and said do you not like me, i was so embarressed and i did not know what to say and my face turned red,and i told him i was not used to talking to people the job i had kept me hid i worked in a hosp laundry, he told nme who he was and asked me if i would like to come to his office a certain day and talk that his secrtary would be there i went for some reason, and we talked about my life, and he said you are a pretty woman and you need to get over this i had told him i could not afford to see a dr he said we would just call iot a visit i talked with him about 2 weeks then he told me to go out and find the biggest  place i could and go to work in the public he suggested a grocery store i did, and i want to tell you by the time i was working there 4 months i was asked all kinds of questions my face turned red so many times i thought i was sunburned buit i got cured and got secure, and i did not get depressed, so then i went on and managed to do the work i loved which was hospital i have worked both gen and mental for 35 yeras and enjoyed every moment of it you just have to find the confidence, and i think you can, by the way we were so poor, but i was raised during the depression and many people were hungry and were having hard times, but i have never laughed or made fun of anyone and never will i was taught better back then kids were cruel i hope they are better now   back then they never had groups or anything to help, and i thank god that i met this wonderful caring Dr and out of the goodness of his heart he helped me and asked nothing so i do what i can and when i can for others  lots luck  jo

[mammo]

Low self esteem can come from many things other than depression.  Don't assume you have depression.  Try reading some self-help books on this and thinking differently.  If someone is in a realtionship with you, then they obviously see some wonderful qualities in you!  Everyone has some insecurity, it's just accepting that "hey, I must have something going for me."  It doesn't matter what you look like, it's about being a friendly, fun, happy, respectable person, and this is what people fall in love with. Once you realize that most people are insecure, and usually the most outgoing are, you will be able to take that first step to start feeling more secure in yourself!  I was once at a dance and I was too insecure to get up and dance, as was my friend.  She was making fun of some of the people dancing, and I thought "I wish I had the nerve to get up there with them, because they're having all the fun!  Take baby steps.  Do something small that you normally may feel too insecure to do.  For example, make a comment to someone standing in line with you, or a store clerk.  I never used to talk to anyone around me, but then I did this and now I know no strangers.  People are anxious to talk, and the more you do things like this, the easier it gets and the more confident you feel.  You are someone with lots to offer someone, just go with it. I don't mean get cocky, but know that people are interested in you and what you have to say.  I just reached a point where I no longer cared what people thought, and decided to be me, and it worked!  You're not depressed, don't go running off to a doctor.  This is something you can work thru, and good for you that you are doing this instead of immediately thinking you are depressed.  I'd hate to think that low self esteem would send everyone running to the doctor, even though it can get us down, not depressed.  You sound very bright.  Just take baby steps, and be patient with yourself.  If you do this and you still feel that you need some counseling to help with it, then fine, get counseling.  But give it your best shot on your own first.  I don't see someone who is depressed or spiraling down, you're normal and intelligent enough to know that you can, and want to feel more confident, that's all.  You just need to realize the good attributes you possess and acknowledge them.  Obviously others are attracted to you, relax and know that you have a lot of good qualities to have this interest to begin with.  Relax and most of all just be yourself, say what is on your mind, be open to others, a good listener.  Women like confidence in a man, and if a woman is already with you, you have every reason to be confident!!  Get a new mind set and stop second guessing yourself!

[whodunnit]

Could I recommend you read your post thorougly and try to discover what it is you want to hide from yourself?

It's not really depression?,

I am not a depressed person?,

Yet you make a bunch of other statements saying the opposite. You don't convince me. I say you are depressed, so do you. Why deny por hide it. It's an illness, do what you'd do for any illness. Go to a doc and ask for treatment and advice. Say you don't want meds and follow the talk therapy path as that is really the only way to repair these issues. Meds don't fix things, they just hide the symptoms so we can live and maybe fix problems.

Stop hiding, see a doc and get on top of this now as I can assure you if you continue to deny/hide it that it will grow and you will have a large problem in time. Fix it now while it's small, relatively.

It's not easy but the very first step is admitting it to yourself. You haven't yet have you? Read up on depression symptoms and see the doc. Please.