Your really going through a hard time. Things will get better. Your not alone and you can win this battle stay strong and hold on to your faith
Mammo has given you very good advice and is willing to step out for you and go beyond listening, she is a wonderful caring person.
I agree no one can understand this desperation unless they have been there. All we can do is try to help in some small way.
A good cry isn't a bad thing you are holding alot inside and need a good cry, no wonder you just feel like laying down and pulling the covers over your head I have been there too before I started antidepressants. I always blamed my depression on my situation, but a good psych. told me even situational can turn clinical without help.
there are many things in our lives we cannot change and are in no control of and these are the ones that cause the most depression.
Seek out all the resources that Mammo mentioned a hand will make a big difference for your little one and make you feel better for this.
God bless you dear, please keep talking with us so we can encourage you having someone just listen is so much better than holding it all in..
My gosh, you are certainly having a tough time. You should be eligible for welfare as it was designed for people like you. Since you don't receive unemployment they will help you with rent, food, and clothing. Contact local churches and organizations that help children have a nice Christmas, and some will provide you with Christmas dinner. Contact Toys for Tots, and local police stations who are known to help familes at Christmas. Until someone has known this kind of desperation, they haven't a clue. Yes, things will get better, but when, and you need help now! You need to have a good cry...seriously, who wouldn't? Call your doctor and tell him what the Xanax is doing, and not helping, you need an antidepressant. I don't know where you live in Ohio, but I'm on the state line of Ohio and Indiana. If you can shoot me a note as to where you are, I will make sure your child has gifts, and will check out some organizations for you. Please try to be strong, I know it's difficult, maybe together we can work thru this.