I always thought that the definition of Insanity is if you simply do not understand the difference between right and wrong.
My Psychiatrist once told me that it's perfectly normal for sane people to occasionaly entertain insane thoughts. It's acting on those insane thoughts that is the main indicator of true insanity.
You're 15! It's normal. But if you are really scared you need to journal your thoughts and moods and actions daily. After a month of journaling, talk to the doctor and show them your journal. The journaling part is very important if you want a doctor to take you seriously since you're so young. He may tell you things that you think is irrelivant, or stupid, or whatever....... but give it a try. Follow his orders to the T. Once I actually started listening to my doctor and doing what he told me to do, things started getting better. But you have to remember, you won't get completely better overnight. Nobody can do that. It takes time and lots of it, if you are crazy! lol In the mean time, try to enjoy your youth and make the best decisions you can! Get ahead in life while you're young, it only gets harder as you get older Darling. Sincerely, Molyba
Well, didn't expect to see so many replies in such short of a time.
I thank you for the help, greatly, I do.
But its not things like talking to myself that sets ME off being scared I'm insane, in fact, I'd probably LIKE having an actual reason for being the way I am..
..its more the fact that when I read "One individual killed a perfect stranger by pushing them in the path of an subway. He is now living in an institution for the criminally insane and probably will be for the rest of his life." ..my first reaction wasn't 'Whats wrong with him?' or even, 'oh, gruesome.' No.. it was more like -laughter- and then an "I wanna meet him!!" And even knowing that isn't a safe thing to do, if I had the chance, I'd do it anyways.
And trust me, I wouldn't do something like that. Though it may be extremely TEMPTING, I wouldn't.. because I honestly don't feel like screwing up my family further than it has been. =]
Sides, I've kinda already put my family through hell.. a few times.. and I can't turn out like my brother.. I mean.. well.. I don't think they'd like it very much--seeing is thats their biggest fear. I'm rambling now, aren't I?
Well, I'm off to finish the lemon Icy I got.
I was listening to a 'Tegan and Sara' song..
so, lets try this again, shall we?