IDK

[MJK2002]

I'm 13 and I think I'm depressed. Ever since 2 years ago everything feels like I'm just watching and can't do anything even with my family. I always feel tired, I feel like crying half the time for no reason, and as my friend said its like I'm in my own world and that I need to open up and talk more. My friends have tried to help and I try to let them but before they can help I trick them into thinking I'm ok when I'm really not. I know I need to talk to someone I trust but I really don't trust anyone. I don't trust my mom because she found out from a spoused to be good friend that I thought I was worthless and thought the world would be a better place without me and the look on my mom's face just stopped me and caused me to trick her too. I don't really know any trusted adults because they will tell my mom. And all my friends (not including two) would judge me and put me down even more. And both of the two friends I can't talk to because they don't have a phone or live anywhere near me.  I mean it was hard for me to just post this. Pretty much I don't want to disappoint my family because they think I'm a little angle.

I always feel lost and worthless. People have tried to help but then they forget all about me and it just makes me feel even more worthless. And when it comes to making a choice of what's my favorite my only choice is IDK because I don't even know what I like anymore.

I don't know what to do or who I can trust.

[Bubulous]

Nice to meet you Marie.

[MJK2002]

I guess you are right. Im at a camp with a group from my church and I can tell that everyone sees me in a different way. Some good and some bad. And my mom is even a little happier and said I'm acting la little like my old self (which is a good thing) oh yeah my first name is Marie

[Bubulous]

I don't know your name so I will call you Mary Jane based on your nickname?
Mary,
There are two sides to you.  There is the person you actually are and the person that you show to other people.  The problem here is that you are trying to become the person that other people think you are but when we do this we have to change so much, so often, that we start to lose ourself.  You know who you are and you know what you like and I promise you that you cannot trick me.
You are likely very adaptable and that has served you well in the past but now you are having trouble because you are losing touch with who you are.  You are likely a different person to almost everyone you know.  Your family sees the angel, some of your friends might see that too and some of them might see an intelligent person.  Some of them might see the depressed person.
Take some time and do a little regression (journey back to your past) and talk to that kid that you used to be.