Avatar universal

What do you do after you've become fed up ?

Hi, I'm 17 years old and I feel like I have finally reached my breaking point .
Everyone I've ever loved, trusted, or cared for has thrown me in the dirt .
I don't know what I've done to deserve this, it's like I was born to serve one purpose and that was to be used by anyone who crosses my path .
I feel as if I am only here to help someone who's down, back up, just so they can toss me aside ..
It hurts, and I can't help but think I need to convince myself that I am immune to pain, because it's the only way I can make it through the day ..
I was so madly in love with a boy once, and I knew it was real, I felt it, and he actually admitted to using me only to fill a void ..
I had a ''best friend'' for nearly 7 years, and recently she admitted to using me only to keep her happy until she could be with her real best friend in California .
Every relationship in my life that meant something to me, was based off a lie ..
I don't know how to feel, if I should cry, scream, smile, or just go mute ..
I try to convince myself that everything happens for a reason, but honestly, considering everything I've been through and it still led me to bad things, really just makes me question why I continue to walk this Earth ..
I feel like I'm just living to exist, because I will amount to nothing ..
I've been nothing but good to everyone from day one, and yet, still, I remain unappreciated ..
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Avatar universal
You are only 17 and weren't in love with a "boy."  It may have felt like love, but you'll have many "loves" before it's real.  Your life has just begun, so all is not lost.  Maybe you need to choose your friends more wisely. But also you have to realize that you have a big heart and people are taking advantage of this, so shame on them!!!!  I know all this has taken it's toll on you but you have a whole lifetime ahead of you!  You cannot allow what these people have done to determine your lot in life.  I felt like this at your age and it started as far back as I could remember, I felt invisible to everyone.  But when I reached 18 I took control of my life and totally turned things around.  Get involved in activities that you enjoy, and you will meet new friends, start living life for YOU!!  Do things YOU want to do, and that make you happy.  Don't dwell on the past it is just that...the past.  It's time to take back your life and make yourself happy.  Don't lose your kind heart just be more selective who you open it up to. It's tough to have endured all this at such a young age but often it makes us stronger and wiser so that we can live a happier life from this day forward.  You did nothing wrong, so move on and make the life you deserve and want!  YOU do matter, and your life has a purpose.  Stay strong and take care.
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1291268 tn?1274810922
You don't mention your parents, why not?
Look to those closest to you, the ones who gave you life and care for you, as your TRUE best friends.  A good family will always be there for you, but I understand that not everyone is lucky to have this.
Friends come and go in life.  Close friends today are frequently 'gone' tomorrow.  Except for those especially  close, lifelong friends, who are few and far between.  They move, go off to college, get married, find new friends, and on and on....
Look at 'friendships' as a learning experience that help you grow. When you get older you will look back on them and, for the most part, remember the good things about them and the good times.   Life is full of friendships...school friends, work friends, sports friends, drinking buddies, and so on.  
If you find your sadness now intolerable then speak to your parents about it and seek counseling.  Everyone goes thru what you are going thru.  Only sometimes these experiences effect some more severely then others.  Emotions are a very individual thing and our ability to 'cope' with them at times like these is individual also..  Don't be afraid to seek the help and guidance of others.
Let us know how you make out.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Honey, you have your whole life ahead of you. Right now it feels dark and hopeless, but let me reassure you that at 17, even those with tons of friends, will probably lose contact with most and replace them over and over throughout the years. But you cant know that yet because at 17 you have only just begun your life. Take heart, it isnt all over, its just the beginning, Friendships are great but they are not permanent. One day you will get married and have kids and then you will understand what a meaningful relationship is. Until then, to hell with anyone who messes with you. You're as good as the rest of them !!!

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Avatar universal
We are alone, we atart life and end life alone.  You need to love yourself,
it takes a long time to learn this,

take care of yourself.  Friends come and go, children come and fo, family come and go.  Be your own best friend
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