I was in your same situation about taking care of your mom mine had alzeimers, and congestive heart I gave up life to protect my mom from being dumped, we were best friends I talked to her about everything. I miss her so much. I had 2 stepdaughters that I guess could not care less about me the youngest and I were really close she got into drugs and is now deceased the oldest I guess which was into drugs now just loves her beer and has straightened out her life their mom raised the oldest girls boy and the youngest girls 2 girls. she gave up one baby for adoption I wanted her so bad my hubby did not want to he said they would come back later and take her from us, I am lost without m mom I would not change giving up that art of my lfe for her it was hard but she did have her normal days one ay she said they should be helping you I told her it was ok we had each other ut deep down I never forgave them for not helping. I had 1 sister and she was nit there when you really needed her, she was lie an ostrich she would run and hide when a problem or something bad showed u. that is why I was so close to her youngest daughter, we were close I don't know what happened to her she moved In when I was on medication fr my severe deression and took over she is still here.sorry I got carried away no one to talk to , you shold be proud of yourself taking care of your mom the last thng inlife you can do is nake her comfy and hapy as you can,
Poo44
I hear ya, I am an only child and my mom was always my best friend, like you said, someone you could count on. and know they would always be there for you, right?
Nothing or no one will ever replace her and when she died. I wanted to go with her because all I am now is one of the many Orphaned daughters , with a hole in my life.
I lost my mom little by little with each day that passed. She had a blood cancer that made her need Constant review of her blood every week and if it wasn't good we would have to go to a cancer center for blood transfusions.
We were able to keep her with us for three years, as every new trial or drug was tried.
There is a special place in a mothers heart just for daughters, and that love is there weather she knows you or not. I thank and admire you for being a wonderful and caring daughter. I wish every one treated their mother that way. I will tell you this, when the time comes for her to go home, you can feel a great sense of peace, because you know you never left her side.
You are lucky enough to have a daughter that will always be there for you when the time comes, but for now she has to live Her life. I know of the loneliness. since I have no children, and truly am an orphan now.
You seem to enjoy Hospice care and your associates, so perhaps that is where you can look for companionship, It must be a wonderful feeling doing the work you do
There is a time for everything, and I certainly know the frustration and loneliness you feel . Your mother is still here. ,I would give anything to sit by my mom weather she knew me or not. Take advantage of the time you have with her...and Your daughter will be there when the time comes that you need her.
Sincerely,
Clare
Hello there! I feel your pain. I'm 57, raising a 13 year old and my daughter passed at 33. My parents live within walking distance. My dad is 82 and my mom is 80 and she is having memory problems also. I feel privileged to have my parents still with me and I do my best to take care of my grandson in a way that would have pleased my daughter. I do get lonely sometimes too but then I think of all the tragedy in this world that happens every day and that brings me back to what is important. Take it one day at a time.. that's all you can do
Ahhh, I'm sorry you are lonely. You've given a great service to your mother with caregiving for her. That's so hard. And dementia is particularly hard to deal with. I'm sure there are days that this is not very rewarding for you! Your daughter is doing what she is supposed to do. As hard as that is. She needs a life and to get on with it. Finding love and starting her own family is the order of life. But hard to feel like they have less time for you. So, what can you do to build more relationships into your life? Hey, you can post with us here. We like to make friends and chat online!! But also, you can get out and meet some people. Do you live near a public library? they often have book clubs and groups. Same for churches. (thinking of inexpensive or free things). What about where you live? Anyone around? Exercise classes at the Y? These are all avenues to make new connections that might reward you with friendship. All caregivers need to also care for themselves and have time away. We're here if you need to talk!! hugs
Sadness isn't a mental illness. It passes. You knew this would happen, I can't believe in this day and age it took your daughter until 22 to get a boyfriend -- this should have happened long ago and you'd be used to it by now. But she's still alive, right? She didn't die or move away, she's got someone else in her life too. But again, sadness passes, you will get used to it.