New Partner ever ?

[therese83]

Hello

I dont mean to offend anyone with my question, obviously i have depression myself. I take anti depressant and low dose anti psychotic (on and off)

I was in a relationship for 25 years.  I married a guy with a lot of problems and i was very over caring and loyal to him (co-dependant i now realize).  I took as much as i could, and when i cracked he left - not me.  I felt abandoned. I have been through a grieving process and am starting to enjoy my own life.  It is a process.

I am a good person and would never disrespect another human being.  I am very successful at work and have four great kids.  During the last four years i have suffered from depression, i am very healthy otherwise and fit. I fell into this and i only survive now with the meds, though i  do all the alternative stuff as well. I try and try to overcome it, and sometimes i just think "what the hell" and accept it.

How can i ever have a new partner. Who would want to go out with someone with mental health problems?  What does anyone think,  how or when should you explain to someone that you take psychiatric medication.

I cant imagine their reaction, wouldn't they just run away? I have a friend online, he is very nice and i cant imagine telling him.

Has anyone managed this, i would like a chance at happiness.

[whodunnit]

Hi there,

One of the hardest things in life is dealing with that abandonment by someone you thought was going to be there always. Regardless of how good or bad it was, that relationship breakup hurts dreadfully and takes away our very core or trust doesn't it?

I've been through it too Therese and it seems like there is nothing left, no future, no present.

But there is and much as I could not imagine ever having a partner again I have.  I had 2 shorter term live with relationships and then found my current partner, now of 17 years. We have 2 children. I could not have imagined any of these 3 women wanting me as I felt back then but they did and good things came from each relationship. None was ended badly like my marriage.

There are good and bad people Therese and you will find one of the good ones. Out there somewhere they are right now. The thing to do is to get involved in life again as much as you can, even if your heart isn't in it initially, it will become so.

By just getting involved in things and focusing on trying to enjoy yourself you find people, become friends and deeper emotions can develop. I never sought a partner as many do by going to singles bars, internet and so on. That does not work and demeans us I feel. Just living on and being out in society is where you find people.

Always. Take care and may you find someone you want to be with at the right time for you.

[mammo]

Your partner left you because of his own insecurities, which is no reflection on you.  True love has no boundaries, and a good, caring partner will stick with you thru thick and thin.  This can be a difficult thing for a partner to deal with, but thru education they can learn how to better cope, not just up and run away.  Since he has his own problems which you have been very understanding of, I would think he would have handled this differently.  You sound like you're very reasonable and bright in how you have handled all this, be proud of all you've accomplished.  Don't allow this guy's running away make you feel like it was all your fault, I think emotionally he left long before this.  You do need to start dating again, you have so much on the ball with a successful job and raising 4 kids, you've accomplished a lot.  People are much more understanding, than you may think.  When you start dating someone, give the relationship time to evolve before telling the person.  Unless you feel it is going to get serious, this personal stuff is truly none of his business.  I know you want to be up front and not mis-lead someone, but someone has to earn the right to know more about you.  If it is getting serious, he won't care that you have this problem, especially seeing how well you have coped, working and raising your kids, you are to be admired for this!  It sounds like you medication may not be working well for you, so you may want to see your doctor again to talk about this and maybe have a change in dosage or even a different medication.  You're absolutely right, it's a process, and you are working thru it, that's awesome!  There are so many people taking antidepressants that chances are the people you meet will also be on them. Relax with this, just be yourself and someone will love and respect you for this.  Take care....