Oh no, I just read this post. I've been thinking about you alot lately after I saw one of your previous post. I pray you are ok and will update is soon
Seeing how you are feeling. What do you like to do for fun? I like camping and fishing and love roasting marshmallows, it's so much fun. With the sunny days we can get to have some fun. How are you?
Judy
Dear, you are young with your whole life ahead of you. You are putting yourself in very intense adult situations, without telling anyone, or asking for support, and at your young age, you're struggling to deal with the fall-out of those things, as anyone would.
You need to get some help, confide in your Mom, tell her the things that have been going on, how you're feelings, and that you need help. Suicide is never the answer. You will NOT always feel like this.
You also have to understand how hard it is for people who lend support on these forums to read something like you wrote..."if you don't see me anymore, something has happened". I cannot even begin to tell you how awful it is to wonder and worry about what happened to people who were in a bad place...it's the most hopeless, awful feeling there is. That's just awful.
There IS help out there....you need to start making positive changes in your life. This is all in YOUR hands...but if you don't turn to anyone for support, or think you can handle all of these things on your own...you're only setting yourself up to feel worse. We can give you all the support in the world, but it isn't the same thing as turning to people in your real life...including mental health professionals.
Please update us....people will worry about you.
Don't say you are a failure, think positive. Negative thoughts brings negative to you. Did you ever notice when you smile people smile back? Positive and cheeriness will bring good things to you. Try praying, don't you find there is good in hope and faith in a higher power. People do care for you, don't ever think no one does. We all do and there is support for you, so live happy. Do happy things, it works.
Judy