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Avatar universal

help me

my boyfried has betrayed me on several occasions, i have ignored all... now he has broken up with me, and he tells me he is going to hurt me for hurting him...  i am hopelessly and miserably in love with him...he tells me all the bad things, he says he is ready to do anything bad to me, he tells me to commit suicide..... i am sick.................  iam a lecturer in a university, 28 years old. i have left all my positions in different places i used to work.... i am really sick.... i think of committing suicide...... i feel i can't help myself anymore.... please help me....please
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Avatar universal
First off, you don't need a man in your life to make you happy. You are an intelligent woman with a job working at a university. The safe bet would be for you to leave before things get worse. I know you love him, but look what he's doing to you! You need to get yourself out of this situation!! It's not healthy. You deserve so much better than that! Is there a family member or friend that you can stay with for a little while? This guy seems like he needs help as well. Don't try and find him because like he said, he wants to hurt you. Stay away from him as much as possible!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You're boyfriend has shown you a pattern of behavior which is never going to change.  We can be in love with the wrong person or one that is toxic to us and that's when you need to decide who is going to control your life....you or him!  Don't let him take away your power...you call the shots and avoid all contact with him.  You are better than this and deserve so much better than someone who not only betrays you but is constantly threatening you.  You need to take these threats seriously and maybe even get a restraining order against him.  He is toying with you and you're exactly where HE wants you to be!  Rise above this and him and get control of your life again.  Seek professional help...most of us have to at some point in our lives and that's why we have the experts.  You are obviously a very bright and driven woman...don't allow this man to rob you of this!  He wants you to think that you're nothing and can't help yourself, but you were sure doing very well before he entered the picture!!  He's poison for you, stay away from him and concentrate on getting yourself into a better place emotionally and keep moving forward.  He's a loser and wants to do nothing but drag you down and then leave you.  Take back your power and know you are stronger than you know.  I hope this helps and big hugs to you!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
thank u so much for ur comments.... actually things got worse....  i think i need time for reflecting on all these things....
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
i really want to thank u for all ur comments... i want to try doing what u said.... i will try..
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I know what it is like to be in love with a man who is bad for me. But then again, the man I love has never, ever threatened to hurt me, or ever suggested that I need to kill myself. I think you need to do the difficult thing and leave this man for good. It is very difficult, I know, but you have your own safety to consider. You have a job - a very good job, one that most would give an arm and a leg to have - and you're giving it up for a man who tells you that you need to commit suicide! I suggest you consult a friend or a family member, or even seek professional help. There is very little convincing I can do on a public forum such as this, but I can say this (as corny as it sounds): Love is a beautiful thing. The minute it is tainted with fear or pain, it is not love. Would you drink a glass of water if it had a bug in it?
You deserve to be happy, and you have accomplished so much. You are young and you can work through anything. Please realise that you are a beautiful person and need to be treated as such. You have so much to live for. Do not let anyone tell you that you don't deserve to live. Please let this man go.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
thank u so much for ur comment.... i know he doen't care for me... whatever i do or say is nonsense, he won't even listen.... i have undergone all this because i have loved him so real, now, i have nothing to tell him, and nothing to do.... i don't know what can be done right now, i am just waiting, and doing nothing.... no calls . just spending time alone.
Helpful - 0
1548028 tn?1324612446
If you will take some advice from someone who has been married for almost 20 yrs, I give some.LOL!  I was once where you are.  I had someone who made me feel the way you feel right now.  Thank gosh-I got myself back up, dusted off, turned the tables and began to love myself again.  I have never felt that way again and I hope I never do.  I met my husband and it has never been really hard to make things work,  I've never has to chase, to wonder or try real hard.  He doesn't either.  Don't get me wrong marriage is work and work and work but it's a job you like 99% of the time.  Take some time to figure you who you are, what it is you really want and then re-think things.  You sound very bright and have so much to offer.  My father told me back then-You have something that only you have and nothing or noone can ever take it away and that is YOU.  It is important to love yourself most because everything else around you works.  Don't wait for him to call.  If he does, tell him you need the space to figure out who you are and what you want.
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Avatar universal
thank you very much for your nice advice.. i do really try to reconsider everything...
you can't even imagine how i loved him, whatever he said, and did... i have tried everything anyone could do. i have failed...  my pride, self-respect, this is the worst... he never calls and never says anything else. most probably he is quite happy that i am not calling or saying anything anymore... i just loved him so real and so much... i did not want anything from him... now i don't have him, this is finished. i really don't want to sound this much weak, i guess i am not, but the feeling is inside me, i think i need time to reconsider and rebuild my sense of belief in myself...
i ahve ever wanted anything from anyone, and tried to do everything by myself... this is a p[oint i think i need to consider some other ways....
thank you so much again for your comments..
Helpful - 0
794366 tn?1418009395
Sounds like this boyfriend of yours is very TOXIC for you. You must get out of his control and this environment immediately. Is there anywhere else that you can stay at for a while? He sounds like a sadist and enjoys giving pain, though emotional, to you. The more you stay with him the more you are empowering him. Find a place, don't tell him that you are leaving, and then leave when he is not there and don't tell him where you have gone to. He needs to be out of your life. Then you must start to work on yourself and mental health and confidence and self-esteem. Seek professional help from counselors, hotlines, doctors, therapists,,etc., if you are still feeling suicidal. You must break yourself from him. He sounds like he is very insecure and gains power by breaking you down. Do NOT have any further contact with him.
Get out.
Much luck to you,
Angela
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
thank you very much Angela for your comment.
actually, i've cut all bonds with him... although i really feel sad i don't do anything to get in touch with him... you know, he's hurt me alot during  2 years, i really feel broken inside...
i take all your comments and advice into account.. i am just spending time away from him and (as much as i can) away from the memories together.. i feel sorry for him and myself...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi, I know it's hard right now but you have to force yourself to have love for you.  It's not being selfish or anything but once you start to have a little more love for you, you can start to heal from this relationship that you are in.  When you feel down think of the great things that you have done, wow look at how old you are and the job you hold.  He might be intimidated by you and that could be the reason he acts like that.  It's nice to think of the good times but you have to realize that those times are gone, you will need to find your balance first before you can really heal.  Allow yourself some time to mourn the relationship, give it some time and you will heal a little at a time.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
thanks alot for your comment... that is exactly what i am doing now... i really appriciate your care and that you take time to write all these comments...
i try my best, really, to heal from this relationship. i want to feel good again, and see the people around me whom i have made sad during these days because of what has happened to me..
thank you again.
Helpful - 0
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