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Avatar universal

i don't know how to manage my eating related depression

I have food-related depression.  It makes me miserable and hate myself and it just ruins things for me.  I so badly want to be really, really skinny, but my body just naturally doesn't do that.  I am a ballet dancer so I am under constant pressure to weigh the least possible, but I am having such a hard time lowering it and its making me go insane.  I am in front of mirrors all day and just want to cry everytime I look at myself.  I've tried eating the least amounts possible, but I am hypoglycemic so that never turns out well.  Sometimes I over exercise or starve myself to the point that I binge from being so hungry.  It just makes me feel so much worse and more discouraged everytime :(

I feel like I have such an unhealthy relationship with food and I have NO idea how to fix it :(

I feel bad about myself even when I consume necessary calories, and then once I mess up my set diet, my day is ruined and I feel like I look five pounds heavier instantly (I'm not exaggerating, I literally see more weight on myself).  The worst thing about all of this is that I can never lose and maintain my weight.  It fluctuates so much and I can't get in control of it I don't know what to do anymore :(

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Avatar universal
make some plan of your daily meal. make sure that you have a short term goal and a long term goal. you have to put in your mind that you need to gain weight and refrain from taking of you don't have a good appetite.
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Avatar universal
i guess i want to know how to change these feelings, because i always try to tell myself that i need to just "snap out of it" but when i can't i feel much worse.  

how can i develop a better body image?
Helpful - 0
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