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Avatar universal

if anyone has any answers, please help.

alright this is gonna be long but I just really need some intake. (and if your gonna be nasty dont bother posting)
alright to make a long story short.
when i was in highschool i got really bad anxiety which i grew out of.
ive met some friends i love dearly and had a blast with them wed drink and smoke and hang out, do the whole party scene.
anyways im 23 now, and i recently just totalled my car on my past birthday due to me drinking and driving. (i really banged myself up too)
after it i was upset a bit but i just blew it off and started hanging out with my friends again and started drinking again.
well i ended up going to a party a week later maybe two, and i got completely loaded and decided to take some lsd. (three hits) (stupid i know! believe me)
in the beginning i had a great time and i dont know what came over me but i just started having a panic attack i was just scared like my body kept getting warm and cold and i wanted to lay down but i wanted to stand up i was just freaking out, i tried everything to come down (it wasnt my first time)
later that night i went out to drink because everyone told me id come down and fall asleep and itd be over.
so i came home showered everything was fine and then something hit me, i felt like i didnt know anything anymore.
like i knew i was home but nothing looked famliar.
and now i just have this scared feeling all the time and i cant stop thinking about "omg the acid drove me crazy"
im starting to go to therapy in june, im just nervous. they said its probably from my car accident.
i dwell on it all day and night like i cant think like i use too, all i think about is something is wrong with me.
i cant sleep.
i stopped hanging out with my friends, and i dont feel like i use too, i have all these thoughts and memories race thru my mind. i get horrible thoughts too that id never think of ever.
i use to have so much fun, laugh, do normal things and now im just sad and wondering whats going on.
nothing like looks the same to me. like i know everything but i feel like it isnt happening. i read up on depersonalization but i dunno, i just want to know if anyones ever went thru this or knows anything.because everyone says its anxiety and maybe a little ocd. and that im really doing it too myself because i wont stop thinking about it but i dont know how. like its a huge brain fart.
i just want some piece of mind.
i know this sounds crazy, but if anyone has any input can you please help?
(this started happening two months ago)
14 Responses
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1691630 tn?1329366215
I think you will still snap back for sure! I think you just put your mind/body through too much at one time (no need to feel bad about it though), everyone does things that they wish they didn't do. Don't worry about the shrooms or pot. Shrooms I don't have too much knowledge on, but I have heard of people doing them them often and they are fine.Pot, definitely don't worry about, it's natural and great for you. I think the combination of being loaded and on LSD, and around people made for a potentially bad trip. The way your feeling will get better, but it may take some time. I have heard of people becoming depressed with life in general after taking LSD, because the trip was so much better than real life, but they do snap out of it. Hang in there, I know you feel so lost right now, but just know that it will get better. You will not be like this forever. One day you are just going to snap out of it, and you won't even remember how horrible it was to feel like this. It will get better--stay strong =)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
thank you guys for writing, and nlk259949 even though its been two months you think that ill still snap back?, i have it im just lost forever here and theres no hope. it was only my second time doing it but i ate shrooms like twice last summer. i smoke some pot when i tripped this time, and i was loaded when i did it, do you think thats gonna mess any of it up? im sorry if i sound dumb im just so lost right now. its all i think about all day long and i cant control it, it just ruins my life. i thought maybe if i got back to work itd change or something but im in the middle of moving and ive been thru so much change in the past months. my minds just boggled. ive been taking melatonin to sleep and drinking these all natural stress megnesium drinks..i just feel so out of it. thanks for writing though. it eased my mind up a bit.
Helpful - 0
1691630 tn?1329366215
You are feeling this way from the LSD for sure, this is no question about that. Just know that it may take weeks to completely snap out of this. That is what LSD can do to you when taken in the wrong setting/environment. Don't worry though--it WILL get better =)
Helpful - 0
1691630 tn?1329366215
Hi,
I am SO sorry to hear about what you are going through. None of this can be easy for you. I completely understand about having anxiety in high school, I had horrible anxiety/depression all through out high school. I can't imagine having a hole in my heart though and dealing with that, I truly commend you for getting through that. How many times have you done LSD? I don't down you at all, I actually am very interested in psychedelics and the way they affect your mind while you are on them. Here is some interesting information that may ease your mind--

Can you become perma-fried if you take LSD too much? Is there a limit to how many times you should take it?
There doesn't seem to be a set limit to the amount of LSD an individual can take, physically or psychologically. "Acid casualties" from the 60s and 70s do seem to suggest that repeated chronic use of LSD can have long term effects on your brain and your mental well being. At the same time, however, practitioners like Dr Timothy Leary took LSD over one thousand times in their lifetime with no apparent long term physiological damage. Although if you read his later books, you might disagree.
Perhaps what is important is less how much you take, but more how you take it. People like Leary were very careful about "set" and "setting" when taking LSD, ensuring their environment and people around them were relaxing to guarantee a pleasant trip and to lessen the chances of "freaking out."
**If you take LSD a lot (like every weekend) you may find it increasingly difficult to come back to normality, or may become increasingly isolated from those in your circle who do not take it. As always, moderation is recommended.

Can LSD make you insane?
There is evidence that underlying mental disorders, such as schizophrenia, can be "activated" by LSD use. Therefore people with any history of mental illness should avoid LSD.
However, when used clinically in the 1960's, psychiatrist Dr. Sidney Cohen surveyed a sample of 5000 individuals who had taken LSD twenty-five thousand times. He found an average of 1.8 psychotic episodes per thousand ingestions, 1.2 attempted suicides, and 0.4 completed suicides. "Considering the enormous scope of the psychic responses it induces," he concluded, "LSD is an astonishingly safe drug."

Doesn't LSD cause chromosonal damage and other genetic defects?
This is a myth, originating from a single flawed study in the 1960s in which scientists exposed cells in a Petri dish to massive concentrations of the drug. In the same experiment, caffeine and aspirin caused greater chromosonal damage.--Hope this helps!!

Try to stop LSD for a long time, and stop drinking. Try to exercise and take some supplements. Also, try to do thing for YOU that make you happy. Once you can be happy by yourself, and not by drinking and being around people, I can promise you you will be much more content with life, and happy in general =). That is what changed my life. Whatever way you decide though, you WILL get better. It is scary now, but know there is hope, and all it takes is time and you will be better. Good luck on your journey to recovery. Things will look up soon!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Sounds really scary wheat you experianced. Yeah I think drugs like that can really mess people up. Maybe not for life. Still talking to someone might help you deal with this. I hope you get back to normal. That would be great if you did. But I get the whole want a normal life agian and want to be normal. Seems so long ago since I personally felt like I was normal. Ive been like this so long. So I understand that want and need to just be ok. Its like you want it so bad. So I hope that you do get normal. I know with mental problems its hard to but a lot of mental problems can be treated which helps more people to be as normal as they can be, Not sure if getting back into a drinking lifestyle would be good though. As for slipping up it happens. Maybe you felt more normal when you were drinking with your friends then you did when you were just alone. Just a thought.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
thank you guys for answering, the past two night i slipped up and drank. i went out with my friends and it felt sorta better, but i notice when im alone it gets alot worse. i like want to be the same but i dont know how and all these stupid questions run thru my mind. kevin thanks for sharing, im sorry to hear about your uncle, thats really messed up and i hope all is well with him. thats scary to even think about. i really hope i can become the person i was. i hope getting help changes me. drinking isnt as fun as it use to be. i really just want to go to school and get my job back. its just so hard to find what i like and i just seem not interested in anything anymore. i hope i didnt do too much damage. i just want to feel normal again. ill be in touch with you guys soon.
Helpful - 0
1128565 tn?1316721143
Hi Betty
I used to be an alcohol counsellor, sometimes people self medicate with drink for depression/anxiety it helps them deal with emotional problems can you relate ?
Sounds like you were spiralling out of control taking drugs as well you can become mentally ill with drugs this may have lead to your OCD. You need to talk to someone who specialises in the drugs you were taking.
You have done so well to quit drink, drugs and smoking it is alot for your body to deal with they are all addictions. When I counselled people I used to say start with the drink don't do the two together it's too much no wonder your feeling bad. I do hope and pray that you feeling out of sorts is only a temporary thing. I have a friend who drank and took cannibis and she got psychosis and she is not going to get better shes on drugs to control it.
Take care and let me know how you are doing !!!!
Love
Lorraine xx
Helpful - 0
1680078 tn?1305020717
Hi there just to let you know when you mess with drugs like lsd it can change the way your brain works and could of altered the way your brain thinks. It could of caused a very bad chemical imbalance which can be helped with meds but it is very dangourous when messing with drugs like that. Not to scare you or anything but i have a uncle that was slipped alot of lsd in his beer in his younger days and was beaten up afterwards pertty bad and when he saw all the blood on his face he went into a very bad trip and has never been the same since it messed him up for life and he not all there due to this incident. I really do hope you get better and never find yourself using that again because in the end it is not worth it. Please let me know how your doing in the future and if you ever need someone to talk to im here for you because trust me i have gone through my trials and tribulations myself.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Maybe you need to go back and redress issues from your heart issue.  I think that it would be normal for anyone to feel anxious in that situation, even with a good prognosis.
What was wrong with school?  What made it possible to go out with your friends in the weekend?  Sounds more like an avoidance of school.  ??  Why would that seem more threatening to you?

You wouldn't necessarily have to be on psych meds for life.  Once you overcame your anxiety and depression it should have been feasible to wean off them.

Just because you feel you have control over alcohol doesn't mean that you aren't abusing it or using it unwisely.

Checking out what is wrong can be a sign of anxiety.  Feeling that something is wrong is a common theme here on this forum.  That is said to be a sign of iron deficiency too.  If you have heavy periods etc (your profile says you're female) then it could be worth getting that checked out.

It's OK to talk.  I think talking to a psychotherapist would be the most helpful thing for you. I read something is a book once that helped me with my anxiety.  It made me look at how my anxiety had little basis in reality, as in this moment.  My thoughts were often about stuff in the past or the future but not about what was going on right now.

Talking to someone could be really helpful.  Meds may also be of some use just to help bring your anxiety levels down.  Anxiety can place way more stress on the heart so that may be concern for you.  May help to motivate you to do something about it.  I stress about the damage anxiety will be doing to my systems and I don't have a history of heart problems.

I think that some of these risks you're taking with drugs, alcohol, driving, etc are a way for you to cope with your anxiety.

You could try talking to a doctor but definitely talk to a therapist.
Helpful - 0
180749 tn?1443595232
You are going to get better and be your original self. Start doing this pranayam for 5 minutes every hour. When you feel good, increase the time (up to 30 minutes) and reduce the frequency (down to 2 times). Let me know when you start to feel the benefit.The extra oxygen going into the brain, will help very much. I will suggest more techniques as we see your progress.
Build up your timing gradually.If you feel tired or dizzy, stop and resume after one minute.
Anulom Vilom pranayam –
Close your right nostril with thumb and deep breath-in through left nostril  
then – close left nostril with two fingers and breath-out through right nostril  
then -keeping the left nostril closed  deep breath-in through right nostril
then - close your right nostril with thumb and breath-out through left nostril.
This is one cycle of anulom vilom.
Repeat this cycle for 15 to 30  minutes twice a day.
Children under 15 years – do 5 to 10 minutes twice a day.
You can do this before breakfast/lunch/dinner or before bedtime or in bed.Remember to take deep long breaths into the lungs.You can do this while sitting on floor or chair or lying in bed.
May 21, 2011
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
thank you for replying, well i think i grew out of it, see when i was in highschool i found out i had a small hole in my heart and it was gonna close in time but i was scared i was gonna die so i would sit home and not go to school because my anxiety got so bad, but on the weekends i would go out with my friends. but come monday i wouldnt want to go to school. so my parents took me to talk to someone and they said they were gonna put me on pills and my dad looked at me and said youll be on them for the rest of your life and it sorta just scared the **** out of me. i guess you can say i was always sorta depressed about stuff but i put on this i dont give a hoot kind of attitude, i moved and met a bunch of people that i had started to have fun with. i questioned maybe i had a drinkning problem a couple times but i could always stop drinking when i wanted too. i kind of just always wanted to have fun? i keep trying to just relax but it seems impossible. one minute im happy the next im looking things up on here to see whats wrong with me, i have this i have that to im never gonna overcome this. im sorry for rambling.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I don't generally take drugs or drink (but have taken excess meds, etc).  I was wondering if you may have had drug-induced psychosis.

One doctor said to me that it is emotional damage, not physical damage and therefore not permanent.

I think anxiety and depression can mess with our heads.  At times I have trouble with my memory and thinking clearly and I feel convinced that I am doomed for life.  Have early onset neurodegenerative conditions.  Maybe I have but largely it is just the anxiety and depression affecting me.

Did you grow out of your anxiety or did you just mask it (with drugs and alcohol, etc)?  Could be some long-standing underlying issue there.  Usually is (although many just attribute it to a chemical imbalance).

You could try checking out old posts on the mental health expert forum or ask the doctor on the mood disorders expert forum.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
thanks so much for answering, i didnt think anyone was going too. ive drank twice since all this thinking it would snap me back into my old self again but it didnt. plus i quit smoking too. i just feel like i dont know how to talk to anyone or all i talk about is this because its constantly on my mind. i just forget who i use to be even looking in the mirror doesnt look the same my parents nothing but i really didnt see my parents that much because i was hardly home. i just miss being the happy person i was i just dont know whats stopping me?. i feel like i remember everything but forget how i use to think. if it makes any sense. thanks for answering though it made my mind ease a bit.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi, if you stopped drinking, you might have withdrawal symptions.  Depending on alot of things this might last months or weeks.  You might talk it over with your doc.  When I stopped drinking I felt so down, guilty and nothing was right.  I used to drink as selfmedication for depression.  Hope u start feeling better & this kinda helps.
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