Oh boy....all I said was "d-r-u-g treatment"...
Do you think there could be any other reason for your low energy level? If there's another cause dragging down your energy, that in itself could cause some level of depression, wanting to be alone, not wanting to do much, and a pessimistic outlook.
I can feel very slightly like this whenever I've had bad sleep or nowhere near enough sleep for a while. I can be grumpy too!
Also, if you're not into **************, though I do agree that meds can often help, you could try taking vitamin B complex supplement daily, and St. John's Wort herbal remedy. It does work.
You sound depressed, and good for you for trying to do it without medication!! But it sounds like the meditation isn't working, so it may be time to see a therapist to determine why you're depressed, and deal with it. Sometimes we don't even know why, it can be a traumatic experience from our past that we haven't really dealt with, and it rears it's ugly head in depression or anxiety. Often once we find out "why" we can deal with it and move on with our lives. Sometimes it does take medication, but there are worse things. Sometimes because it is a mental disorder we don't want to take medication, but we have to realize that like any other medical condition, medication is often needed. I've been on medication for depression for many years, and if this is what it takes for me to have a normal life, then so be it. But I respect you not wanting to take medication, but if therapy doesn't help (it often does) then at least keep an open mind about medication and your quality of with and without it. You're not alone and we all understand what you're enduring. Talk to a therapist and go from there, hopefully you can beat this without the drugs. Take care....