Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

my son has depression and is 29.

      He said to me that he fights to get up every morning, he has a beautiful daughter and a job he hates.
he has had depression for 10 years and is on meds. For a long time years ago he was seeing different doctors and
said that the talks are not helping anymore . Please help me ? whaqt can i do now ?
3 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
Ask your son, if there is any activity that he does and during which he forgets about depression.

While depression is treatable having it for 10 years and sitting on meds complicate things. As far as psychological talks, it is don't matter how much talk you do. The only thing that does matter is how you changing your behavior and philosophy based on these talks.
Helpful - 0
973741 tn?1342342773
Hi there.  Oh, so sorry to hear that your son is suffering.  Depression is treatable.  I would strongly encourage him to seek that help.  A psychiatrist is best if he is having difficulty functioning in terms of working his job and taking care of his child.  For his child's sake, he needs to get help.  A psychiatrist often works with medication and today's medications can be true life savers.  They do have side effects but much better than decades past.  And combining medication with talk therapy is essential (if he takes medication).  A good therapist can help tremendously.  Some people can manage their depression without medication but when the depression is debilitating which this sounds to be, it is so important to do everything you can to treat it.  And if he is self medicating in any way with drugs or alcohol which is very common, that has to be addressed as well.  So, talk to him about this.  Offer to help him find who to go to, you can make some calls for him if need be.  Just get him started.  His daughter deserves a healthy parent so do what you can to help get him there.  good luck
Helpful - 0
19679360 tn?1482373011
As someone who has struggled with depression for most of my life I can say that there is not much you can do to help except be emotionally available without enabling the problem in any way.  When I was 12 my mother put me into therapy and I was put on meds, which made me much much worse.  They help some people, but I was too young and didnt have the emotional support I needed.  

My mother was both neglectful and enabling and I was caught in a vicious cycle that i was not able to escape from for many years.  The most important thing is that he has to WANT to better himself.  It is very easy for people suffering from depression to become emotionally addicted and find almost a comfort in their misery and rationalize it to the point where they convince themselves they are just built this way and then make excuses for not changing.  If he says things like "Ive already tried this that and the other and nothing works" then he may be this type.  

People who want to get better will try anything.  It is very very hard to make ones self be willing to take steps and that is where a good friend (and this could be a family member) comes in handy.  A good friend will not sugar coat things but will be gentle as well.  They wont tell the person what they want to hear, but what is true.  They will never invalidate.  It is so important to have boundaries with your son while you are trying to help and to not push too hard for them to do things.  Leading by example is important.

One of the worst things you could do is to let them vent to you about the same things over and over and give them the same advice when they arent taking it.  One thing I try to do with friends who come to me for help is let them know that you are there to listen and to give advice if that is what they are after, but that if it becomes apparent that what they seem to want is to complain excessively and make excuses for themselves when it comes to not trying to fix the problem that I will let them know, kindly and firmly, that I cannot continue working with them.  This kind of thing leads to a co-dependent situation where  one person feels victimized and the other frustrated/angry.

If you could, and feel comfortable doing so, please give a bit more information about your son as far as how long this has gone on, how he copes with it, how it has affected his family life or his job, if he is trying to take steps to help himself or if he does make excuses for himself, and whether he tries to involve you and how he involves you, or if this is something you initiate talking with him about because you are concerned.

I look forward to hearing back from you.
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Depression Community

Top Mood Disorders Answerers
Avatar universal
Arlington, VA
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
15 signs that it’s more than just the blues
Discover the common symptoms of and treatment options for depression.
We've got five strategies to foster happiness in your everyday life.
Don’t let the winter chill send your smile into deep hibernation. Try these 10 mood-boosting tips to get your happy back
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.