post partum depression or just depression and how to get help.

[Lucey12]

Hi all. MY daughter is 14 months old now, shes doing great, busy little thing and a climber! The thing is I find the littlest things set me off and I feel like such a bad mom and cant control my temper. Ive always been depressed to some point. I remember when I was 8 I was drawing a picture for my cousin who was a few years older than me who was in the hospital. It was looking really good, especially for my age but I messed up a bit, would have been fixable but I was so mad it wasnt perfect so I crumpled it up, then I was mad it was actually wrecked and as I walked to my bed the bed post cap was missing and I was still so mad about my picture not being perfect so I put the palm of my hand on the post and pressed and twisted till it bled. No, I never cut myself but when I wasnt doing my best I hurt my self. Usually it was bashing my head against a wall. Now that Im older I control my actions and ony occasionally I throw things. But the depressed feeling is there, more than it has ever been. Its hard to turn around my mood and I dont know how to bring it up to a doctor let alone how to explain my feelings. Any tips on how to overcome this and how to get help?

[Lucey12]

Thank you both. Its still very intimidating to bring it up to the doctor at the walk in clinic. (limited family doctors in my town)

[freddie8605]

If you print off what you have written here and take it to your doctor i am sure they will be able to help you. And that why you don't need to worry about what to say as its written down, from there the doctor will ask a few questions and you will go from there. adgal is right this isn't your fault or something to be embarrassed about. I am glad your little girl is going well.  

Take Care.
Freddie

[adgal]

Hi there.  I don't often post over here, but was searching post partum depression and came across your post.  First thing I want to tell you is that this is not your fault, and you are not alone.  I too suffer from post partum depression.  In my search for information, I found out that it is very common, and fortunately, there is a lot of help out there for it.  I also found out that if you are prone to depression (I suffered from mild depression/anxiety almost my whole life) you are far more likely to develop post partum depression.  Great news though!  There is help, and you don't have to feel or live this way.  I believe you, like me, are a Canadian, correct?  So what you need to do is make an appointment with your family Dr. or clinic.  Let them know how you are feeling.  I had a hard time with this as I was so embarrassed at first.  I thought they would assume I wanted to hurt my child or something, when nothing could have been further from the truth.  I received absolutely no negativity at all.  In fact, it was the opposite.  They reassured me that reaching out for help was the best thing I could do for myself, and therefor my child.  My Dr. referred me to a physciatrist (covered by our medical) who specialized in post partum.  I was put on medication that I responded to very well, and soon felt so much better.  I still struggle and my son is now 20 months old.  I continue to get help and am getting better.  It can and usually does take time.  But make that appointment, and just tell your Dr.  No one deserved to feel this way, and you don't have to.