trying to be strong....

[gwmclean]

If the sunrises tomorrow,
And I am not here too see it,
Don’t be sad.  But realize  
It was never meant for me.

I went out with the setting of the sun
Slipped away; with just my memories.
I’ve left this world a better place.
That all I ever wanted to do.

I’ve tried to cope, I’ve tried to deal
But failure is all I’ve succeeded at.
I wish I could be strong.
I wish I could draw strength from above.

I wish I could juts close my eyes
And have all my pains just float away
My love has kept me here this long
But I feel like I’m slipping away.

[kmathis70]

you know what you wrote is how i feel also. calling a crisis line is not what i want all they'll tell me is is gonna get better but over a phone how do they know. however... talking to people here can help. they know how we feel cause they have been there .so they know what they are talking about.so try to talk to some of the people here like iladvocate  , they are very smart on places that can help you find a job or lots of things iladvocate has helped me alot . can't change my feeling but gives me some hope . please add me as a friend if you want , i can't be much support i don't think but we can cry together . just a thought

[ILADVOCATE]

I would suggest calling a crisis line and if you have a psychiatrist that can be reached call them now. I know they always say "call only in an emergency" at late hours but if you are having suicidal ideations this is one. I read that you lost your job and that would bring anyone down but I could give some advice on how to go about a job search. Come back here and talk with us if you want. We're here for you but if you are having suicidal ideations speak to your psychiatrist or a crisis hotline first but we're still here for support.

[birdie0907]

You are only 31. Your picture indicates you are physically strong.

Even if it takes a while to find a better life, you will still be young when it happens. Then you will realize you still have a lot of good life to live.

Have you considered calling a Crisis line for some immediate comfort of hearing a human voice? You might be surprised how much can be resolved by you while you are talking to someone about your situation.

[Hensley258]

You may not need you here, but I'm sure you have family that does need you here.

I know it's easy just to give up, but we have people that we would destroy if we did anything stupid.

You don't want to pass this condition down to your children by ending your life.

I have been where your at more times than I care to speak of. Many of us are in a rough time right now. For me the Holidays are always the time when I feel my worst. Then add in the fact that any of us could be out of a job tomorrow, due to this recession.

Try to relax (I know that's hard) take a couple Xanax and get a good nights sleep. I know that's what I'm going to do tonight. Try to avoid thinking too far ahead right now. When I get like that I have to take life on a day by day, even hour by hour basis.

Make a call tomorrow and see if you can get in to see your P-doc. A lot of us have had to make some med adjustments lately because this time has us so stressed and depressed. You might also benifit from a med adjustment now.

I guess that's about all the advice I can offer for now.

Hope you feel better soon.