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My diabetes has ruined my life

I was diagnosed at 10 and am now 30. I've had several DKA visits. I have lacked insurance many times in my life and have repeatedly been denied medical assistance. I'm American and was approved for Medicare for the first time about five months ago. I was only approved because without my parents I'd be homeless. My diabetes has caused a deep chronic depression that has left me unable to maintain any real or meaningful relationship, especially outside of my family, and has limited me in several ways that I never expected. My depression has now caused a rift between me and most of the people I know. This includes a long term friend who I was hoping would turn into a romantic relationship. I have no mental or physical health support outside of the very restricted options I have through Medicare. I have no diabetic mental health support. I have no mental health support outside of my working class psychiatrist and counselor. I was involuntarily committed to an insane asylum when I was 10, a few months after I was diagnosed. I was voluntarily in an inpatient stepping stone program in May of 2015.

Because of several factors, including but not limited to the inability to find stable long term work, being from a working class (poor) family, and being verbally abused on a regular basis, I can't leave my parents. I can't afford it at all. If I work I generally can't afford insurance, even with the recent law changes. So for all of my adult life I was going to a free clinic. Living at my parent's house they expect most if not all of my paycheck to help pay for bills, even if I'm unemployed. It isn't completely related to the diabetes but I've been paying rent since I was 18 and my parents make no effort to help me afford better care. I've only lived out of the house for two years in which a lose of a friendship lead to a deep depression. I need to leave because of the abuse. The abuse and the diabetes makes me depressed. Depression makes me improperly deal with people (not picking up social cues, revealing too much emotionally, unintended jabs). So I lose people from my life. Rinse and repeat. I know its a bad situation, a vicious circle. I can't leave my town without insurance. I can't afford an apartment without a job. Essentially if I need to fix a part of my life it can't be done because either my diabetes prevents it physically, financially, or emotionally. I know my mood improves drastically, at least short term, when I can be away a week or more from my family but even then my diabetes still causes upsetting issues. Most recently I found out that my dad has not attempted to learn anything about diabetes, how I need to manage it, what he needs to do as a diabetic parent, or what to do in an emergency. You can probably guess who the abusive person is.

I've done tons of searching and while I have thought of several plans of escape they have not been successful. I'm essentially now only able to hope for some type of windfall or a cure. I don't know where to go from here. I just know that things can't stay like this for much longer.
4 Responses
231441 tn?1333892766

very tough situation.  I hope you can find a way out soon.

How well is your diabetes managed?  I am asking because, if you can learn how to better manage it (less complications), then you might actually feel better and then be in a situation to be able to find employment, etc.

Please come back and let us know.
Avatar universal
I am a brittle diabetic but my A1C is around 7.
Avatar universal

I know its tough but try and get a small temporary job as a shop assistant and do some studies
Avatar universal
This is a terrible situation to be in! You need to do something to better your life, and helping yourself will bring feelings of confidence that you need. You stated that your parents verbally abuse you? I would contact a social worker if I were you. They should be able to lead you in the right direction. If nothing else, contact adult protective services, it may sound drastic, but you are a disabled adult who needs help. Also, try to find an in person type 1 support group, you can search online or ask your dr about it.
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