It's possible that the problem is (in part) that our son is used to being treated respectfully, and when kids are outrageous and no adult does anything about it, he feels stuck in a bad system where nobody cares. It's a tough transition. I remember feeling very supported by the school in 6th and 7th grade, but he doesn't have any such feeling.
The reason I said ugh about the web academy was that the orientation we went to was crowded and disorganized. They didn't have enough space in the room, kids were standing out in the hall trying to learn what they were supposed to do to sign in on their computers, and teachers didn't know how to present to parents and kids in a group. Again, the people running things should have been more firmly in charge. We might use this as a back-up, even if I've heard one of their software packages is super dull.
I'd like it if the charter-school option comes through, but there are so many kids on the waiting list that chances are quite slim. It is a lot like a prep school, uniforms and all. Private schools here cost about as much as college, and most are twenty miles or more away. I think he could handle church-based schools if he liked the teachers, and I could sure handle the civility.
But, we'll see. Today wasn't awful, he reports. lol
Good luck with the doctor! And thanks for the sympathy about the sulky spouse. It's nothing like the problems you have been dealing with, of course. I do wish my husband would stop being such a grump when I won't "hop to."
Regarding our son being miserable, yes, he's always more anxious at the outset of things. He's started to talk again about how he wishes he were dead, and his OCD symptoms, which we haven't seen for months, are beginning to creep back. Unfortunately, this school (touted as the kinder and gentler one in our district) is apparently no different in how the kids treat each another. I'm unwilling to force him to be unhappy in school for two more years, and I don't want him to give up on school altogether. We've put him on the lottery list at a local charter school (100 kids on the wait list to transfer in to his grade), we visited the local web-based school (ugh), and we're looking into a local Catholic school (we're not Catholics). The only place I've drawn the line is that we aren't moving again. I keep hoping he will walk out of school some afternoon and finally say he had a good day. Hasn't happened yet.
Anyway, I'm thinking of you with your irritating doctors, and sincerely wish they would all get their act together for you. :)
Barb, what a catalogue of woes!!! As I said when you originally explained about your brother, I am so sorry, it sure did seem like this happened fast. Shame on them for not telling you all the facts. I suppose they thought they were doing you a kindness, but seriously.
Add to it your irritating doctors! I'm losing a certain amount of respect for the medical profession. For one thing, there is variation in the amount of intelligence and skill, and for another, the system in most HMOs and with most insurance systems forces docs to give you just tiny slices of their time. It's not the doctor's fault, but one used to be able to talk to a doctor for more than 15 minutes.
We are still at the farm, due mainly to my husband's insistence on having a barbecue. We had a big barbecue on the 4th of July, a pretty traditional event that we've done almost every year for two decades, and one dear friend could not make it. So my husband set up a follow-up barbecue for him, inviting him and his wife, another couple, and eventually a neighbor couple. He didn't tell me, or ask if it would fit with all the stuff we were doing (selling the little house, moving). When he finally casually mentioned that he had invited people to a second party, I told him we couldn't do it when he had planned, which made him sulk and say he didn't have a life where he could see his friends or have a good time. He had planned it for the weekend of the open house of our house up for sale, but I was so busy getting the house ready that I twice asked him to change the date. (He doesn't grasp, regarding parties, details like if you invite ten people over, you need places for ten people to sit, such as tables and chairs, preferably with some kind of covering rather than just eating on the bare plastic tabletop, and drinks and ice, and the dogs should not be muddy, and the bathrooms cleaned, and some kind of salad and dessert might be expected. Things were simpler when we were college kids who could sit on the floor and eat hot dogs, which is pretty much the last time he was in charge of his own social life.) Anyway, though I really wished to draw the line and tell him no more socializing until after we move, he was already storming around in such annoyance about having to shift the date that I didn't have the heart for the fight. Instead of moving last week, we stayed at the farm and had the barbecue. It was an OK party (I think I would have been more up for it if I had liked more of the people he invited). I'm glad he got the party he wanted, and now the farmhouse looks presentable (a nice side effect of entertaining). But as you can tell, I sure wish it hadn't had to happen, it took me way off track regarding the move.
Add to the fun mood, our son is not liking his new middle school. Crying every night, curling up in fetal position, begging not to be made to get out of the car and go into the school, talking about wishing he weren't alive. I did talk to the school, and they had him talk to the counselor, but part of the issue is that there are 1,500 kids in his school and they can't do much to change the system. So in between dodging sulky remarks from my husband about his put-off party and fielding calls from movers, painters and plumbers, not to mention negotiating the house sale, we've had this very acute crisis of a sad son. The main problem is academic anxiety -- he has two hours of homework a night and not all teachers have started giving homework yet.
Oh, weight loss? Hm. lol I don't seem to be losing from the stress or gaining from stress eating, but right now think I might be up a teensy bit just because we did eat at the party. I'll check later and post back as a comment. :)
Hope everyone is having better weeks than Barb and me!