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Break up due to distance what should I do?
I recently ended a 1.5 year relationship and after a month and a half he started dating a 16 year old girl(he is 22).They knew each other and used to go out often as friends but I trusted him and I never thought they will date because of the age difference.He also told me that he likes being controlling in a relationship.The main reason why we decided to end it was because he was living abroad.I wasn't sure that I want to move there and he doesn't want to return home either. I recently graduated college and learning a new language,finding a good job in a different country without any experience ,living far away from my family it was a lot to take.He isn't very close to his family like I am . We also had some arguments during our relationship ,he used to get angry sometimes even called me "stupid" for no big reason.After breaking up I apologized for every mistake and told him how much it hurts but he didn't care and eventually blocked my messages.I don't understand how some people move on so fast when I can't it takes me a lot of time to find a new boyfriend.I am feeling bad because I wasn't sure about the moving were he lives and because of that he found a new girlfriend.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi. I'm sorry you are sad. I want to say this though . . . you are a recent college grad. You have a career that you are starting. You have your whole life ahead of you. This man you were with is not someone you should be with. You deserve better. He wants to be controlling in relationships? Red flag!! He calls you stupid when mad? Red flag. He is . . . gulp . . . dating a child? Red flag for real. It's hard to be rejected and it is hard to have something you cared about end. But in the big picture, I believe in my heart of hearts that you will move on and be better for the end of this relationship.
And some move on more quickly than others because they weren't very invested in the relationship. He's not as emotionally tied to it. You two are also at an impasse in that you don't want to relocate to where he is and he doesn't want to come to where you are.
Don't date. Focus on career. Focus on making some good friends. Focus on YOU. This is YOUR time to grow. And then down the road, you will meet someone new that does not have the hang ups that this guy did. And he will be a distant memory.
Let us know how you are doing. hugs
And some move on more quickly than others because they weren't very invested in the relationship. He's not as emotionally tied to it. You two are also at an impasse in that you don't want to relocate to where he is and he doesn't want to come to where you are.
Don't date. Focus on career. Focus on making some good friends. Focus on YOU. This is YOUR time to grow. And then down the road, you will meet someone new that does not have the hang ups that this guy did. And he will be a distant memory.
Let us know how you are doing. hugs
2 Comments
Thank you so much
I know this is a hard time for you, please come back and let us know how you are doing hon.
I want to agree with specialmom here.
Focus on yourself at the moment, different people and different reactions especially if he had another girl to care for the breakup with you didn't affect on him as it did on you.
Now, Don't bury yourself with work and learning just to escape reality. This will make you further from people and I think this isn't right, been there done that.
Think about yourself, improve yourself and learn from this experience.
Know better what you are looking in a man and this is how you wont be in the same situation again :)
I was in long distance relationship and still a good friend with her, we keep it by not talking every day and be lovely dovely and still be for each other when needed.
Listen to the issues and support.
Hope it helped, Be strong and smile ^_^
Your adventure is just beginning!
Focus on yourself at the moment, different people and different reactions especially if he had another girl to care for the breakup with you didn't affect on him as it did on you.
Now, Don't bury yourself with work and learning just to escape reality. This will make you further from people and I think this isn't right, been there done that.
Think about yourself, improve yourself and learn from this experience.
Know better what you are looking in a man and this is how you wont be in the same situation again :)
I was in long distance relationship and still a good friend with her, we keep it by not talking every day and be lovely dovely and still be for each other when needed.
Listen to the issues and support.
Hope it helped, Be strong and smile ^_^
Your adventure is just beginning!
1 Comments
Thank you so much
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