Oh sweetie, you know what's going on in his brain, or at least all that matters anyway.
This is a man who can't seem to stand up to his parents, or he doesn't want to. He may or may not have been cheating on you with someone else, but even if he wasn't, he met her and started dating her before your relationship was fully closed.
He finds out his buddy is interested in you, thinks that the only interest you'd have in his friend (if you do have any interest at all) is to get back at him.
He still has his gf, but is talking to you behind her back, which is what you think he was doing to you with her originally. (Do you see that you may have traded places with her?)
His statement that if anything happens, you'll be the first one he calls is perfectly designed to keep you waiting in the wings for him.
I'm sure he has good qualities - everyone does. You deserve more, though. If he cheated on you with her, and is now cheating on her with you, he seems to have a pattern of cheating. Why would you want any of this for yourself?
My advice? Grieve the loss again - you already know it's hard but necessary - and cut off contact with him. Figure out why this is all okay with you - and some part of you thinks it's okay or you wouldn't even be entertaining the thought of getting back with him, and then find someone new and better. <3
Okay there is so much to unpack here.
1st of all yeah I think the same. He probably met her or at least had a crush on her while dating you.
2nd of all he doesn't get to dictate who you go out with. Your relationship is over and you can date whoever you want.
3rd of all the fact he was willing to cheat on that girl with you tells what kind of person he is. And according to what he says he wants to be with her, but cause shes not into sex he wants you as a **** buddy. ****.THAT! That is so disrespectful.
And no long relationships cannot end in friendship when there are feelings there. You will always want more hoping two of them break up so he goes back to you. You will literally allow your life to pass in front of your eyes wanting him while being his second choice.
My advice to you: cut him lose! Slowly lose all connection, decline his offers to meet, start going out with other guys. Don't feel as if you need to justify to him. I can't tell how old you are, but I can tell that its not that old, so there is still plenty fish in the sea. There always be. And trust me you don't need a momma's boy. I understand people loving their parents, but dragging them to romantic getaways and dates with your girlfriend.... Just no!
I'm sorry because I know that it hurts when someone we care about breaks up with us. And he is definitively sending mixed messages. And this will undoubtedly just keep the pain lingering as it is always so up and down. Do I think you can be friends? No. You still have emotional ties to him that are romantic in nature. And he is abusing that and maybe does have feelings as well but he certainly doesn't have your best interest in mind when he is sexual with you while telling you he can't yet break up with his girlfriend. He's a cheater. He's cheating on her with you now and you are probably right, he cheated on you with her. Can't trust a guy like that.
We date for a reason. And it is not just to enjoy ourselves. But we are supposed to be learning what we need to know about someone to decide if they are worthy or a good person to take things to the next level with. If they are a "keeper". This guy is not a keeper. (in my opinion). No matter how much you care about him, he's shown you that he has character flaws that are huge!
I'd break all ties with him.
Let us know how you are doing. hugs
Hi there rar0416. I wanted to stop by and say hello and see how things are going. It's been a couple of months. How are you doing?
Hello there. It's been some time. I was wondering how you are doing? Things any easier?
Been awhile. I wanted to see how it is going! Come back and update us! Would love to hear from you.
Reading this situation, I was thinking about myself on your place. It is definetely an abuse from his side. Unfortunately, many girls like me need to be treated like **** till they understand that they are worth a better person with them. The main thing in the relationship is to respect each other. If you don't feel recpect-try to talk once, if nothing changes- leave. This is the rule I came to. I hope now you are doing fine and don't remember this guy. Wish you started a new page with the people who deserve you!