Divorce & Breakups Community
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Avatar universal

She's happy.... but I'm not?...

I was in a 6 year LDR relationship with this girl and we had a strong emotional connection, but stuff got in the way and she ended up calling it off. I have been trying to get back with her for 7 months. In my opinion, we both messed up but she blames me for everything. She claims I cheated (not true and I lost a lot of female friends because of her) and that I'm no longer manly because my parents take care of everything (exaggerated because if I cut ties with my parents I would have to live on the streets and I still do things for myself like go to school and help my parents pay the bills).

So I said some things to her Dec 30 about how she was wrong about the whole break up and how everything was her fault. I was so frustrated and depressed. Then she told me how she was happy without me in her life and told me she would never be with me again. She blocked my number and Facebook after, but kept me on snap chat. I'm not sure if she blocked my emails. One of our mutual friend said she turned her relationship status to "single".

Lately I've been having nervous break downs. I can't stop thinking about the good times or what could have been. And I don't understand why she is so mean to me. During our relationship, she was borderline emotionally abusive. She would yell at me, put me down, and control who my friends would be (if female). She would accuse me of cheating if I so much as looked up a girl online and claim me to be obsessive or jealous if I asked her what she was doing.

I just miss the old her.... I miss the woman I fell in love with. And now I don't even know if she will talk to me ever again.
2 Responses
Avatar universal
And on snap chat she is just posting pictures of her being happy and losing weight and doing things for herself. This just feels like a slap in the face, like I never mattered to her.
134578 tn?1602101550
If the relationship was long-distance, it probably was largely based on fantasies anyway.  Think of it this way, you miss the "old her," but the old her was mostly the product of your imagination, and the woman you fell in love with was a product of your imagination.  It's pretty easy to create a fantasy partner out of a few cues from her + a lot of unmet needs from you.  Try to recognize that she never was who you thought, and there is no point in trying to make her back into the fantasy you had in mind when she never was that person anyway.
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