Should I wait for him?

[Zahara0101]

I am 25 years old and my ex boyfriend is 26. We are together for 10 years. We got married in 2012 but it was a secret to my parents. His family members know about our marriage. We were happy couple. But my ex is a little bit possessive. 6 months ago we broke up on a silly matter but some of our friends and his family members created misunderstandings unintentionally and as he was so much possessive, he was so much angry at me. So I didn't contact because when I wanted to contact he was more furious. But after 18 days I found out that he was flirting with girls on Facebook and may be dated one of them not sure. I asked him and he replied that he was trying to forget me. That day I informed his brother that I am leaving him. After two days he tried to contact me and told my friends that he was guilty but he didn't do these flirting only to forget me but nothing helped him. My friends told him to have some patience as I was upset at that time. But after ten days he informed that he is serious about the breakup and want me to sign the divorce papers. And very soon after the breakup he jumped in a new relationship and started to flirt with every girl. But the thing is he used to say we have to sign the divorce papers and fixed a day but on that day he wouldn't receive calls. This process was repeating. He took four months to sign the papers. After signing the papers he wanted me to meet him. When we met he said that he dated four girls and was physically involved with them, but no one can take my place. He hold my hand for the last time. Then I came home and was sad. I sent him a text. He replied but didn't let the conversation become long. So I thought he is no more interested to get back to me. I stopped. After a week he sent a message like "yo" and again he didn't let the conversation be long. Then after two weeks he again sent me message and talked to me for half an hour. He said that he was not physically involved with anyone. He just talked to them. But I know he flirts with every girls even till now. It's maybe true that he hadn't have sex with them. And in university he stands with his friends at the same place where I am with my friends actually in front of my department. Maybe it's only a coincidence. Recently I called him and told him not to stand in front of my department. He said ok but his voice was like he doesn't give a **** what I am saying and the next day he was again in front of my department. I really so much confused what should I do. Should I wait for him or not. We were together for 10 years. He used to pamper me like a queen. I am gonna miss him forever. And on the other hand I can't figure it out how can he become like this. If I get back to him is he going to repeat the same thing again.. and if he wants to get back at all. He checks out every girl badly I heard it from my mutual friends. And I can't ever tell my parents about our marriage.. will I ever find a person who will accept my past. And will I ever be able to forget him. He is my first love and our relationship was really great. And I am also confused how can a person change like this drastically. Or he was always like this but I was blind. I am really confused.

[specialmom]

Gosh, really sorry to hear this.  Really.  This is a hard situation.  He was once someone he isn't now.  Waiting for him is a risk.  He may never be that sweetheart that treated you well again.  And we learn a lot about someone during the bad times.  He's the kind of guy that flirts and carries on in bad times.  Not someone I'd trust with my heart again.  If it were me, I'd put distance on this.  Go on with your life. Don't date, don't think about dating.  Just work on things you like or need to for yourself.  Like working out, your career, etc.  And then down the road in a year, you can revisit if you still would have any interest in rekindling things with him.  You'll probably need a counselor to work through all that has happened if you ever do reconcile. but for now, no.  I wouldn't wait.  Go on with your life.  sorry sweetie, I know this is very painful.  hugs

[Zahara0101]

Thank you. Thank you so much. Pray for me.

[specialmom]

I will sweetie.  I hope you are doing okay.  hugs