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Avatar universal

What does it mean?????

I need some help here. I have been divorced for 5 years, I was married for 27 years, with her for 30 years.
The marrige ended because she says, that all I was to her was a pay check and I never gave her any support.
Also she states I worked to much and "I should have hung in a bar"????
She started to go out to bars with her friends from work and fell in love with the janitor at her work.
We have 4 children, the youngest is 21 he just graduated college and we also have 5 grandchildren. House in the suburbs, started to take vacations without the kids. In the divorce I gave her the house I took my pension. We have probably only talked 6 or 7 times since I left. No comunication at all I have tried, I have written letters and left messages on her phone. I have only seen her 3 times in that amount of time and I get weak in the knees and miss what we had. Then very depressed for a day afterwards.  I have seen a therapist continually.
I have been in a serious relationship for 3 years I am retiring (53 years old) this is what I had set out to do since my ex and I worked hard to raise a family. But I am having a problem it feels like I should be with her. I'm starting to entertain the idea of leaving the area and cutting off all contact with my kids everyone. Be all by myself .
So what does "getting over" and "moving on" mean????
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684030 tn?1415612323
When people walk away from your life, let them go. Your destiny is never tied to anyone who "wants out" of your life. It doesn't mean they're bad people; it just means that their part in your life is over. So, in answer to your question, "... what does getting over and moving on mean???" ... it means not looking back and dwelling on the past... it means accepting that there are things that cannot be.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Most of your adult life spent with one person is a hard thing to do if you had nothing to do with the breakup. It sounds like you took your vows and meant them and cannot mentally let go. You have no choice but to do so as it sounds like as far as your ex is concerned, she is done and has moved on. It is realizing that you are done with that part of your life and nothing is going to change that. You must find a new life that makes you happy. If you find someone that makes you happy again, you will find yourself letting go of the past. Your serious relationship is not as serious as you think it is or you would have let go by now. My heart goes out to you and it may be a good idea to relocate in order to move on.
Helpful - 0
1328256 tn?1275035895
I am Not over my Divorce  now 7 years ago I still love my Xwife  When people say  MOVE on I seriously want to  punch them  What does that mean . I For one do not know  and can only ofer you   support and hope you find your answer .  I am  the type of peson Who can  take pain and  Blow it of  And IVe had far more than  I wish on my worst enemy. BUt This pain For me is  beyond My  ability  to  Get over. Perhaps knowing  another is Like You  Helps  and your not alone . I Want to pack up my Life and rturn to the UK IN a Hope  That wil place  so much distance  but  Who am I kidding  the distance is  from one  braincell to the next .  and I know I would miss my  Grand kids
MY daughter said you are better off alone Dad  MUM is  OFF the wall Mentally .  Is that my fault . I dont know I am told NO .  But Not seeing her  since tht day .  I cant realy tell . What goes through your mind Is  devastating to You .  Take Care  Peter  63

  ..
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Wow this a very different posting for me. I feel I have to let people know you can get over a long relationship. I did retire at the beginning of the summer, I made a decision I was going to better myself, physically and mentally. I have gone to the gym 5 days a week, since I have retired. I make an honest effort to eat healthy. I have been taking a online course just to open my eyes. When you feel good about your self, you have confidence in your self.
  Also I have been able to see with my grandchildren, I called my daughter every week and she finally answered the phone,  I have seen and talked to my ex wife and now I see her as just a person.
   I now know that I'm very fortunate, I know I have the support of my GF and starting to reallize 30 years in a relatioship was not a waste.  
   It is like the sun has come out. I worked as a young adult never had a chance to enjoy life at that age. I feel like I have been given a chance to make it up on this end.
God Bless to everone
Helpful - 0
684030 tn?1415612323
...be blessed and good luck!
Helpful - 0
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