mid life crisis for men

[Goldie21]

I would like to find out for those of you men out there if you have gone through this and why?  The reason I am asking is 3 weeks ago my husband came home and told me he didn't love me anymore.  He said I love you as a person, and respect you.  This is after being with him for 31 years and doing everything for him.  Taking care of him while he was sick, when he lost his job, standing by him.  I was also asked to care for his dying father last year he was battling cancer, I agreed, I cared for his dad in our home 24/7 until he passed.

Can someone explain to me how a husband justifies to himself this is right to do to his wife.

[specialmom]

Well, I'm glad he will try and I wish you both peace and luck.  Maybe you can seek the help of a counselor as a middle person to help it along.  I'm a firm believer in that.  Let us know how it goes and I'll continue to send you prayers.  Peace and luck!

[melba8289]

thank you so much.. actually last night he came to the house. we talked & he agreed to try. we are taking it slow. too slow for me but I have to do what i can to save my relationship & family.  hopefully it will all be worth it in the end, if not i dont know what i will do. i appreciate the prayers i need it. the road will be long but I know it will be ok.

[specialmom]

Welcome to the forum and I am just so sorry to hear this.  I'm sure you are so very sad, confused and hurt.  maybe even a little angry.  

Do you think that your husband could be depressed?  I always wonder about such dramatic changes in situations like you describe if some emotional issues are at play with the party that changes so much.

Again, I'm so very sorry and we are here to support you.  peace

[melba8289]

my husband & I have been together 25 years. very loving, affectionate, great sex, caring. last 6 months he has changed dramatically. very cold, uninterested, pushing me away at every chance no interest in sex. his job is stressful, we started fighting because of the way he was acting towards me, he now says he dont love me and does not want to make it work. I am beside myself. i have tried everything, he left and I am having a very hard time with it.  we have 3 children, 23-14-12   we have been together since we were 17 & 15.  I am at a loss for words and I have to be running out of tears.

[jean5824]

I am kind of in same boat. Myhusband and i have been together 21 years.  He looks like sufferred the same crisis.  And he said similar words to me.  I may share some detail late. I still love him but it is difficult, there is another young woman involved.  I may can go through this disappoint period.  I will not blame him too much.  Currently I must concern our only kid first, he is going through his teenager and he used to be happy boy, but changed to be rude, easy to be angery, I tried not show my negative feeling to him but our situation still affect him a lot.  Even without my crisis, we have difficult to talk to him.  Now things goes to be worse.  I don't know how or can I talk to my husband about this again.  This may cause another argument.  I am hesitate.  I believe both us still love our son although we suffered and have this sad time.  He feel he is shamed for being out of controled.  How I can work with my son's problem, he is in his special, 10th grade.  I would like he become a normal person with responsibility.  But he doesn't want to talk to me at all.  He want to play computer games long time, watch TV long time,  then start his homework around midnight.   It is 4 am, He is still studying, I know it not right.  And he becomes mad and verbal rude word if I try to talk to him.            

[jean5824]

I am kind of in same boat. Myhusband and i have been together 21 years.  He looks like sufferred the same crisis.  And he said similar words to me.  I may share some detail late. I still love him but it is difficult, there is another young woman involved.  I may can go through this disappoint period.  I will not blame him too much.  Currently I must concern our only kid first, he is going through his teenager and he used to be happy boy, but changed to be rude, easy to be angery, I tried not show my negative feeling to him but our situation still affect him a lot.  Even without my crisis, we have difficult to talk to him.  Now things goes to be worse.  I don't know how or can I talk to my husband about this again.  This may cause another argument.  I am hesitate.  I believe both us still love our son although we suffered and have this sad time.  He feel he is shamed for being out of controled.  How I can work with my son's problem, he is in his special, 10th grade.  I would like he become a normal person with responsibility.  But he doesn't want to talk to me at all.  He want to play computer games long time, watch TV long time,  then start his homework around midnight.   It is 4 am, He is still studying, I know it not right.  And he becomes mad and verbal rude word if I try to talk to him.