mid life crisis for men

[Goldie21]

I would like to find out for those of you men out there if you have gone through this and why?  The reason I am asking is 3 weeks ago my husband came home and told me he didn't love me anymore.  He said I love you as a person, and respect you.  This is after being with him for 31 years and doing everything for him.  Taking care of him while he was sick, when he lost his job, standing by him.  I was also asked to care for his dying father last year he was battling cancer, I agreed, I cared for his dad in our home 24/7 until he passed.

Can someone explain to me how a husband justifies to himself this is right to do to his wife.

[shay0316]

I am kind of in same boat. My boyfriend and i have been together 9 years..have two kids together and i believed we had the ultimate perfect relationship.  Well..he left me yesterday for my best friend of 12 years. They both can only say..we didnt mean for this to happen. I am devastated. I am sorry for your situation too..i dont kniw why men are so selfish either. Good luck w things.

[kimblack]

This is exactly what happened to me as I stated further down the page. I gave no real details...but it was the relationship he left behind when he was 18 that rekindled. He said much of the same things and was at times brutal verbally towards me. He blamed me for everything he hadn't done that he wanted to do. Read about midlife crisis it is very important if you really love him.

[kimblack]

I went through exactly what you are describing and I cried and cried and cried! Not a day not a week not a month! I cried and questioned til I could not cry anymore. I will never receive the answers that I need or deserve. 14 Months later as I picked up my life and moved on alone I received a call from my ex husbands sister.... does not matter what or how it happened but I still loved him and he was lucky for that! We got back together as he realized his mistakes and told me how he really never stopped loving me he was confused he could not think straight and he did attack me with very mean words many times which really was completely out the ordinary for him. His father died just one year before all of this took place and that is really the start of the confusion. Mid life crisis is really what it was all about. Have hope live each day one day at a time and work on you and getting on your own two feet. This is what I did and I survived it all! We are now remarried and very happy with a new understanding of our partnership.

[kimblack]

I went through exactly what you are describing and I cried and cried and cried! Not a day not a week not a month! I cried and questioned til I could not cry anymore. I will never receive the answers that I need or deserve. 14 Months later as I picked up my life and moved on alone I received a call from my ex husbands sister.... does not matter what or how it happened but I still loved him and he was lucky for that! We got back together as he realized his mistakes and told me how he really never stopped loving me he was confused he could not think straight and he did attack me with very mean words many times which really was completely out the ordinary for him. His father died just one year before all of this took place and that is really the start of the confusion. Mid life crisis is really what it was all about. Have hope live each day one day at a time and work on you and getting on your own two feet. This is what I did and I survived it all! We are now remarried and very happy with a new understanding of our partnership.

[Jrnyfn]

I have been where you have . My husband of ten years left  me back in 2001,  In that year my sister's husband died, he was only 47 . My son was only 8 years old .I knew husband for nineteen years and was married twelve of those years   My husband told me that he loved me as a frend . I was shocked , He went back to live with his mother a woman whom I did not get along with. Three years of separation and emontional turmoil between his mother and the woman he was talking to on the net or meeting up with, He met up with one girl who was not interested in him; just as a friend. She had barely any money and he had to always pay for the date, Then yet another girl, not attractive at all and was using him came along only for them to break up . Things were going bad for him; his mother became nasty to him and she scratched his face because I wouldn't let her see our son based upon how I felt about her and that she never saw him when was born That was because, we had a big argumetwith her and I kept my son away from her. After three years his mother died. My life was a mess; my dad was very sick and passed away. I also had  problems with a male room mate who was 15 yrs older then I. He was late on the rent and he slapped my son across the face. I was in a bad way and  I started to cry and pray to God telling him that if I did anything wrong I was sorry and I just wanted my life back.  Three weeks later my husband came back and told me he was wrong and now we are back together

[maliamarie]

I knew my ex-husband for 30 years and was married to him for twenty yrs. My ex-husband and I pretty much have lived the same loss in our lives together, we lost both out parents,  loss of relatives,loss of home  loss of jobs but we managed to pull thru strong. We had in my eyes a great loving relationship, we did things as a family, as a couple. But one day he came to me and just said, ITS JUST JOT WORKING OUT.as though he had rehearsed that and he seemed ready in saying this to me, I was hit so hard not even prepared for anything close to that. I asked why he could only tell me the love isn't there anymore. I begged him not to do this but he finished through with the divorce. I looked at him with how could you do this to our marriage n our lives in age where were getting ready to have the time to share alone time n grow old together? His only parting words he left me, IT JUST WASNT THE SAME ANYMORE.