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Dog chronic kidney failure euthansia
My spayed shih tzu was 16.5 yrs old. She was the light of my life. She was on medicine for cushing's disease. Then had a tumor in her bladder removed in fall 2015. In fall/winter 2016, she started full dose of rimadyl which caused GI ulcers. The tumor returned and took up 60-80% of her bladder.
In March, we took her off the rimadyl. In April, she lost her appetite then was put on combo compound of cerenia and fatomide and metra something to help with appetite and nauseau. She continued to lose weight. In February, she was still 14 to 16 pounds but became a little over 11 pounds in April and May. Urination was small and frequent. She paced a lot and slept a lot. Her appetite and thirst was poor. Her pacing became less as her muscles grew weaker and she stumbled.
On 5/5, the vet that did her bladder scans said she had a bun of 130 and a cretain of 3 point something and suggested fluids under the skin. On 5/6, our baby girl got fluids under the skin. She ate well that night but not like she used to. On 5/7, she barely ate and drank. On 5/8, she drank a little bit and had quarter jar of baby food, 2 small bites of hamburger and half a treat stick which is about 2 inches. Sometimes she would hold food in her mouth and drop it. Sometimes she stood in front of the water bowl but didn't drink. We decided to put her to sleep that afternoon.
Watching her circle endlessly to lie or sit down comfortably was heart breaking. Sometimes she fell asleep sitting up so we had to prop her up with cushions.
Sometimes during her walks, she would walk in circles. She was going almost all blind and had trouble making out shapes and shadows. She shivered and trembled and had pain meds as needed. She spent most of her time sleeping or cuddling next to us. She looked content, but we felt like we were starving her. For weeks she ate very little home cooked food and maybe a jar of baby food for a day or one chicken drumstick for a whole day. Her spirit was so much stronger than her body.
Did I let her go too soon? Should I have tried harder but was selfish because I was exhausted and wanted a break? I feel like I killed her and never deserved to have her. I feel like she misplaced her trust in me to care for her.
In March, we took her off the rimadyl. In April, she lost her appetite then was put on combo compound of cerenia and fatomide and metra something to help with appetite and nauseau. She continued to lose weight. In February, she was still 14 to 16 pounds but became a little over 11 pounds in April and May. Urination was small and frequent. She paced a lot and slept a lot. Her appetite and thirst was poor. Her pacing became less as her muscles grew weaker and she stumbled.
On 5/5, the vet that did her bladder scans said she had a bun of 130 and a cretain of 3 point something and suggested fluids under the skin. On 5/6, our baby girl got fluids under the skin. She ate well that night but not like she used to. On 5/7, she barely ate and drank. On 5/8, she drank a little bit and had quarter jar of baby food, 2 small bites of hamburger and half a treat stick which is about 2 inches. Sometimes she would hold food in her mouth and drop it. Sometimes she stood in front of the water bowl but didn't drink. We decided to put her to sleep that afternoon.
Watching her circle endlessly to lie or sit down comfortably was heart breaking. Sometimes she fell asleep sitting up so we had to prop her up with cushions.
Sometimes during her walks, she would walk in circles. She was going almost all blind and had trouble making out shapes and shadows. She shivered and trembled and had pain meds as needed. She spent most of her time sleeping or cuddling next to us. She looked content, but we felt like we were starving her. For weeks she ate very little home cooked food and maybe a jar of baby food for a day or one chicken drumstick for a whole day. Her spirit was so much stronger than her body.
Did I let her go too soon? Should I have tried harder but was selfish because I was exhausted and wanted a break? I feel like I killed her and never deserved to have her. I feel like she misplaced her trust in me to care for her.
From the symptoms that you described she was getting close to passing on her on and when they began to start doing all those things there bodies are in the end stages
I have dealt with all those symptoms with 3 of my furbabies and I was even doing sub-qs at home trying to keep them as comfortable as I could.My 15 It old Peke went into to kidney failure and would start to get better and then she would get really sick again Before she passed she seized 3 times in my arms and I knew it was time for her to go and within a few seconds she passed on her own..It was hard losing her but I felt a peace knowing she wasn't suffering any more.I absolutely adored my baby girl and felt apart of me that day went as well But I knew she was at peace and that brought me some comfort.
Your baby knew how much you loved her and was very blessed to have had someone take such good care of her as what you did!! Try to find peace in knowing she is whole again and that you went above and beyond to give her such a wonderfully life of love and happiness!
I have dealt with all those symptoms with 3 of my furbabies and I was even doing sub-qs at home trying to keep them as comfortable as I could.My 15 It old Peke went into to kidney failure and would start to get better and then she would get really sick again Before she passed she seized 3 times in my arms and I knew it was time for her to go and within a few seconds she passed on her own..It was hard losing her but I felt a peace knowing she wasn't suffering any more.I absolutely adored my baby girl and felt apart of me that day went as well But I knew she was at peace and that brought me some comfort.
Your baby knew how much you loved her and was very blessed to have had someone take such good care of her as what you did!! Try to find peace in knowing she is whole again and that you went above and beyond to give her such a wonderfully life of love and happiness!
Hello. I am the administrator of the Chronic Kidney Disease in Dogs User Group here on MedHelp, so I greatly empathize and with some knowledge of what you are going through. It is heartbreaking.
That dreadful "guilty" feeling is all too common, but truly you have nothing whatsoever to feel guilty about. You did the right thing, at the right time. Your baby had so many issues to deal with, and none of them were going to be resolved, so the likelihood is that things would have continued to deteriorate, probably quite rapidly.
There are many things we can do to "manage" kidney disease when it's caught early enough and before too much damage has been caused to the kidneys and other organs. But truly, that's only when the only problem is kidney disease, and your best friend had several other major problems on top of it.
Helping our dogs is sometimes the hardest thing we do, when that help means allowing them to leave us, peacefully. You were unselfish, because clearly you would have preferred to keep her with you - but that would have involved more pain for her, and an inevitable decline in health.
I am very sorry for your loss.
Tony
That dreadful "guilty" feeling is all too common, but truly you have nothing whatsoever to feel guilty about. You did the right thing, at the right time. Your baby had so many issues to deal with, and none of them were going to be resolved, so the likelihood is that things would have continued to deteriorate, probably quite rapidly.
There are many things we can do to "manage" kidney disease when it's caught early enough and before too much damage has been caused to the kidneys and other organs. But truly, that's only when the only problem is kidney disease, and your best friend had several other major problems on top of it.
Helping our dogs is sometimes the hardest thing we do, when that help means allowing them to leave us, peacefully. You were unselfish, because clearly you would have preferred to keep her with you - but that would have involved more pain for her, and an inevitable decline in health.
I am very sorry for your loss.
Tony
1 Comments
Thank you so much Tony. I've seen a counselor, joined forums and a support group. I go between guilt and missing her so much and wishing I could be with her. Your words have comforted me today and I will keep re-reading all the posts and replies to help me during this time. Thank you.
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