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1654570 tn?1364392283

Egg or embryo donation

Hi,
I just put on hold my adoption process ( but never say never;-)), because I found out that they want me to adopt older children... And I wanted a baby. We were trying for a long time, I miscarried in 2004. After another few years we decided to try ivf. Another pregnancy, another miscarriage. My egg are very poor quality and my FSH is high so we thought about adoption, but.....what I really want is to get pregnant, to nurture the baby, to go thru birth, to see first smile and create that special bond. I have so much love to offer...
So I started researching and learned about egg donor and embryo donor programs.
I know that maybe I'm not supposed to do it here, but I will take the risk...

Do you know anybody who's willing to be an egg donor in Chicago area? Or maybe you have the exact number of children you wanted and don't know what to do with remaining, frozen embies?
Here I am, waiting and praying for a miracle to happen.

Joanna
43 Responses
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1654570 tn?1364392283
I wish you luck with your IVF and I hope you will somehow find the money to get the process started. I know that it can be very expensive but it's also very rewarding once you get pregnant. Plus, IVF costs are tax deductible - so even if you take a loan, you should be able to pay it back after doing your taxes next year - at least bigger part of it.
Me and my dh used donor embryos and I am currently 25 weeks pregnant.
Once again, good luck with everything and I will keep you in my prayers.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I Live in Texas. I am a 29 year old Healthy female. My Husband and I found out we will need IVF. I would be willing to donate as many eggs as needed to aquire pregnancies for both. If I cannot get the cost for IVF, I am still willing to donate my eggs so that you nor any other woman is able to have a child. I know how badly I want a baby, if I can help, I will even if I get nothing other than you are able to become a Mother. Thank You and Please keep me updated, leslie.***@****
Helpful - 0
1654570 tn?1364392283
I couldn't stand the "couch potato" phase for too long and today started cleaning and doing laundry. Then I took a nap - I was so tired!
It would be so much easier to invite a friend for a cup of tea and share my insecurities, but I'm grateful for what I have.
I also have noticed that the ivf subject was still quite tolerable for my friends, but the donated embryo transfer? It's too much to digest for many people;-)
So, do you have detailed info about your donor? What was the reason that you have chosen her?
I am praying for you - you will see - time will fly fast!
Helpful - 0
1834120 tn?1422942267
Hey there. Thank you so much for the uplifting words. I am keeping my chin up until next year and of course trying every month au naturel. I started looking into embryo adoption vs using an egg donor and of course the cost savings is significant. My DH is encouraging that we research this route further but I am still absorbing the donor egg option and am finding it hard to jump to this next level. It's funny to me that I started with donor sperm, moved on to donor eggs, and am now considering donor embies. There is NO WAY I could tell most friends about this outside of MH! CA Conceptions looks like a seriously good deal. I will find out more about them. BTW, again I am so happy for your awesome success. BF YES!
Helpful - 0
1834120 tn?1422942267
I understand your feeling a lack of understanding and support from your friends. I most certainly feel the same way and also get the most support and spirit building from my lady friends here on MH. My best friend of 34 years I cannot even talk to about this because she is against using fertility drugs. I have other friends who were extremely supportive through my one and only IVF, but when it failed and I told them I was considering donor eggs their attitudes changed. I think "infertility" makes many people uncomfortable, especially if they just "got pregnant" the old fashioned way. Of course this is how we would all want it, but for some it is not so simple. I felt as though I let my friends down when my IVF failed. It was as though I got their hopes up and then brought them down. Now, I too do not share too much. However I have my babies is my business with my DH and when they are born our friends will be happy for us plain and simple. If they knew all the hurdles we went through to get there, things would not be so plain and simple. Can't wait to hear of your progress. I would stay a couch potato for as long as I could milk it! Talk soon!
Helpful - 0
1654570 tn?1364392283
It's not bad....I just don't share with them too much about the process.
They are nice girls, but not necessarily open- minded ans supportive no matter what....
But I consider myself lucky that I found a group of wonderful women here, on MH (some of them even live close by and we are planning to meet).
I think that suffering, pain, trauma - all that opens up our eyes to others, it makes us more compassionate and understanding, tolerant.
Helpful - 0
1746987 tn?1381247624
Well I wouldn't say it isn't normal...just maybe not usual :-) How anyone could call having a baby by any means possible extravagant is beyond me! All of my friends have been supportive of me from the start...a few have even gone through this and others have adopted so they all completely understand. I consider myself very blessed to have such wonderful and supportive friends. I am sorry to hear it is not the same for you :-(
Helpful - 0
1654570 tn?1364392283
I would be more than happy to fly with my children to Oregon:-)))
Interesting thing, I don't know if it's normal, but since we started our IVF journey, I rely more on contacts made online, especially here, on MH.
My Chicago friends don't really get it....most of them think that this whole IVF thing is just me being extravagant...;-)
So, I really value support of women who know EXACTLY what I am going through....
Have a wonderful weekend!
Helpful - 0
1834120 tn?1422942267
You guys are just so awesome. I love this connection we have made. I know that we all feel reserved regarding our anonymity, but I still think it would be amazing if we one day had a reunion in the flesh with our children. Kind of like a strange family reunion. Then again, what family reunions aren't strange!
Helpful - 0
1654570 tn?1364392283
I am sooooo happy to see how happy you are!!!!!
Please, take a good care of yourself, keep your belly warm- it helps!
xoxo
Helpful - 0
1654570 tn?1364392283
It's so good to have you back, Oregon girl!:-)
Yeah, I think that I have bad genes... I also found out recently about my underactive thyroid - I have to take meds for this. Guess what, my mom and sister have the same problem. And as far as I know thyroid issues are related to infertility.
Of course, it would be nice to have child related to us genetically, but on the other hand I think it's for the best - I have too many health issues...
So my children won't be able to tell me: we got it from you, mom!;-)
xoxo
Helpful - 0
1746987 tn?1381247624
Hi Tia, I just wanted to say NEVER GIVE UP!!! I know how you feel because i went through a really tough time the last time i got a BFN using my own eggs. I just had my transfer with donor eggs on November 26...and I got 2 BFPs on HPTs!!! I can hardly even believe it is real. Try and stay positive, it CAN and WILL happen!!! I am also 1 year older than you!!! Once you use donor egs you become the age of the donor...so as far as getting pregnant goes, your chances are as good as someone the age of your donor. Your docotr should be able to tell you what your egg reserve is from the tests he would have done before you ever began treatment, ask him. i had an unusually high egg reserve for someone my age, i fell into the medium range...they were just crappy old eggs that all.

Hope this has helped. Above all Think Positive and BELIEVE it will happen to you!!!
Helpful - 0
1834120 tn?1422942267
I am just so excited I found this additional forum. I recognize some regulars on here from my other MH forum ;-). All of the information you guys are posting is so helpful. I will research the snow baby concept a little more. My DH and I made the decision to move forward with donor eggs, but I am so scared about it not working. No reason, my plumbing looks great, blood flow, estrogen/progesterone levels all good. BUT, I've never been pregnant and am so scared that for some reason I will not succeed...and the cost! I think we have all gotten used to being prepared for plan B on here, because we have all suffered so many failed attempts. The CA Conception place sounds like a super affordable option too. My DH thinks we should just go with donor embies because he thinks he is too old to make a good embie (56). I think he's nuts and his boys look pretty good according to our RE. You would think that with all the time we spend researching and waiting that eventually we would all just spit out one good egg and get pregnant! Geez!

Juana, I just wanted to say that your comment is interesting to me about your mother passing menopause early and your younger sis having trouble too. I suspect this is the case with me also. My mother was finitto with meno. at 46. Also, my cycle has been short my whole life, 24-25 days. I wonder how these things may affect us. I once did the math re my cycle vs a 28-30 day cycle and how many more eggs I would have released by my age then another woman. I can't remember my results in detail, but I did figure that I would hit meno earlier than most women...interesting.

Baby dust and baby love to all!
Helpful - 0
1654570 tn?1364392283
I wanted to ask about this pic, but forgot...So it's yours - honestly, I LOVE IT!
It's so warm and optimistic and I can feel love radiating from it..
You have great talent, girl!:-)
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1746987 tn?1381247624
I would post my paintings but because i would like to stay fairly anonymous on this site (I already feel weird that someone on here actually goes to the same clinic i do and realized it!) i know that if there are people on this site that know me they will recognize my artwork and my anonymity will be lost! My profile picture is a painting that only those who know what i am doing have seen. it is the second painting in a duo entitled "love, life and angels" for obvious reasons!!
Helpful - 0
1654570 tn?1364392283
Doctors probably know better..I'm just surprised that he didn't recommend it even if your eggs are a good quality.
But they have experience with many women so maybe it's better to rely on their professional opinion.
The new doctor I've seen on Monday said that the higher the age of a woman, the bigger chance of chromosomal abnormalities and miscarriage.
So he advised to adopt an embryo from a couple where the woman is young. He also said that if embryo is good, my hormone levels, age etc. don't really matter, all I need is healthy uterus.

So, I'm really excited about your decision; keep me posted, please:-)
Joanna
Helpful - 0
1746987 tn?1381247624
I keep posting everything twice...one on the origonal thred i was posting and one on yours...here's my last post:

Well i spoke to my friends doctor friend tonight and asked for his personal opinion because i know he is speaking to me as a friend and not a doctor with stats to keep, etc. and he did agree with what my doctor said. He said i could try again and he knows that my doctor will certainly let me, but because of the risk of chromosomal abnormalities he wouldn't recommend it either. He then told me that a couple he knows just got an embryo from Miracleswaiting and it only took two months. he says they were thrilled with the site and the cost was minimal...lawyer fees...flying out to meet the couple and embryo transfer cost. Since my heart was headed in that direction yesterday it is definitely the route I am taking and i will keep you posted!! If I do IVF now, I will be worrying about the baby's health the entire time :-(  This doctor is definitely speaking to me from the heart so i am going to take his advice.
Helpful - 0
1746987 tn?1381247624
I have already decided that I am doing another IVF even if i have to wait until December and hopefully i wont have to. I will do them up until i get a donor if i have to. I have a good egg reserve and just because three were no good means nothing. there is at least ONE good egg in there and i KNOW it'll show its face sooner or later...hopefully sooner than later!

I am SO getting pregnant....and i am not waiting 2+ years for that to happen!! I am going to go kick some invetro butt!
Helpful - 0
1654570 tn?1364392283
You go girl!
I also almost gave up trying to get pregnant with the help of in vitro.
But adopting older children is not the same as giving birth....Unfortunately my eggs are not good and with aggressive stimulation I only had 3 and only one fertilized...
If your eggs are still good you shouldn't listen to docs talking about your age etc.
Listen to your heart (Roxette;-)) or to your spiritual person!
I know why docs sometimes don't recommend another ivf to women our age: because they are very concerned that it will spoil their perfect statistics..
I think that the reading right after pregnant woman was not a coincidence, it was a synchronicity of events and I truly believe that stuff like that has deeper meaning!

You made me laugh: "She sees a baby ...a man as well...but I only care about the baby"
lol Guys stay away lol :-)
I like your new attitude:-) Stay positive!
Joanna
Helpful - 0
1746987 tn?1381247624
Reading was amazing...she truly is gifted! She saw my mother who has passed...described her to a T! She told me she saw a baby trying to come through and she truly sees a baby in the near future...a man as well...but I only care about the baby! She saw so many other things...and everything she said fit with me and my life and the people in it. After she read me i told her what has been going on and she said that doctors can be wrong and she had a client in yesterday 44 years old 6 months pregnant who she has being reading for years...they told that woman she would never have her own children also...and here she is 6 months pregnant with her own child. she and I both dont think it is a coincidence that her reading was right before mine. I am doing another IVF with my own eggs. i am speaking to my friends doctor tonight and I may switch clinics...whatever he feels is best, he has all the connections. It never felt right that i should only try once when I have a good egg reserve and I got 3 embryos last time. Just because those three weren't healthy doesn't mean one from the next batch wont be. My doctor may not be hopeful but I AM and while i will put myself on waiting lists i will still continue to try with my own eggs! And probably a new doctor!
Helpful - 0
1654570 tn?1364392283
I know this website, I have been there a few times looking for donor couples
But I prefer to do it thru agency...more expensive but less headache.
I think in your situation it may be a wonderful idea!
Great that your hope is coming back:-) Positive attitude means a lot on this road.

I wish you a good reading tomorrow!
(I've been couple times myself but probably picked the wrong ones - I had a feeling they were using my lack of knowledge of that stuff to tell me whatever they felt like telling)
Can you post any of your paintings on your profile page? I love paintings (in the past I used to hang around with different kinds of artists)

Anyway, good luck and lots of serenity and hope:-)
Joanna
Helpful - 0
1746987 tn?1381247624
I think my best bet is to post on Miracleswaiting. That site came up over and over again on various message boards. For $150 membership you have access to donors searching for recipients and recipients searching for donors. You post a profile and look through donor profiles and can contact each other, etc. I think posting my story would open up people's minds to who they may want to donate to. So many women seem to have found matches within a few short months by posting there. If I can find a match then i just have to wait till i have the funds for legal fees and cost of bringing the embryo to Toronto and the clinic fees. All of which will be faster and less expensive than donor eggs.

I feel I can see a light at the end of the tunnel...and I REALLY needed to see that light because it's been pitch black for days!

I am also going for a spiritual reading tomorrow morning. I found someone who is willing to do an exchange. i am giving her one of my paintings in exchange for a reading, i was so excited that she agreed! Now if I could find a fertility clinic willing to do an exchange life would be grand!! I am hoping she tells me what I want to hear.

Here's to me being a little more hopeful...and to all of you who have been listening and helping :-)

Positive thoughts and energy to all :-)
Helpful - 0
1654570 tn?1364392283
I'm so sorry... I thought it wouldn't be an issue..
I know that the waiting is terrible. I expected to be pregnant for sure last year in October, so it's almost a year and more waiting to come...
You can try one more, because I know they accept single moms and they do it internationally:

http://www.nightlight.org/adoption-services/snowflakes-embryo/adopting-parents.aspx

In their Fact Sheet For Adopting Parents they say that they handle single women and international adoptions on case by case basis and that you don't need to be Christian to adopt an embryo thru their organization.

I also checked National Embryo Adoption Center from Tennessee, but they probably won't accept single women.

I hope you will learn some good news finally...maybe from Nightlight, who knows? They sound ok.

Good luck and keep me posted:-)
Joanna
Helpful - 0
961574 tn?1520648103
mhv
Did you try califonia conceptions?  I would try giving them a call.  I didn't see anything on their website saying you had to be married.  Just a thought.  
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