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I didn’t have intercourse for many years could that be the reason for my ED?

I was married for over 30 years but we didn’t have proper sex for 15 to 20 years, my ex would masterbate me to a climax but would rarely let me touch her. Now I’m with a lady who I consider to be beautiful and very sexy, but the moment I try penetration it goes limp, she can be quite hurtful with her comments, I almost feel it’s going to fail before we even get near to penetration, I think it’s not going to work right from the get go. It’s such a shame because we would be very sexual with each other, and we both love sex, but she seems to think I don’t find her attractive and she hates the fact my ex had children with me, but I can’t do anything about that. Really broken up by this!
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Hi The_Caretaker, sorry to hear about your situation.  I agree with what GuitarRox wrote.  I personally think the old adage "use it or lose it" is not true.  I have not seen that in my own experience, and also I do not see any physical reason why this would be true.  Erections often occur when you sleep so it's not as though no blood is going there or it's never fired up if you aren't engaging in sexual activity.

Perhaps letting your lady know that there has been a change in your functioning down there, physically or you suspect physically, so it's not really fair to compare a time when you got your ex wife pregnant with now, and perhaps if you find some articles or information on how physical issues can affect erections and share one of those with her that might make her see that there is more here than attraction, because you are attracted to her and connected to her.  Maybe talking about it like the medical condition it is, would help frame it differently for her.  

I had erection problems starting in my early 20s after an injury and my erections changed drastically, so it was pretty clear cut in my situation and I've had to explain to women who might first want to interpret it as some sort of rejection but when I've explained it, it's been better.  It can depend on the woman though.  And it's unfortunate that so many have believed for so long that issues down there can only be mental or about attraction.  There are many causes to issues there and that includes many possible physical causes.
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20620809 tn?1504362969
Well, that stinks.  First, let me say that a woman that makes hurtful comments about something you are struggling with is not really the nicest lady to be with.  Maybe she is beautiful but her heart doesn't sound kind.  Think about that . ..   better to be with someone who has your feelings in mind and doesn't make careless comments.  Perhaps it is performance anxiety which if you are intimidated, anxious, worried about failure might happen.  You are erect until intercourse?  Can you masturbate on your own?  I'd talk to your doctor if you have impotence problems regularly  How old are you. by the way?
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Hi 50/50 initially I can get quite erect,  i can masturbate to a climax quite easily, but there can be times where I’ll be really close to penetration, but never actually going through with it, we have been together 4 years but the hurtful comments quickly follow any attempt to perform. “What was the point” she says that she finds it quite hurtful that I was able to do it with my wife but I obviously don’t find her attractive enough to complete the act. I’ve tried viagra and other derivatives they have no effect or very little I might get semi hard but no where near what would be considered erect. With my ex I was always a considerate lover I would try to help my ex climax first, I would hate finishing and not being able to help her to.
She's not being very kind to you in my opinion and putting MORE pressure on you.  This doesn't have anything to do with arousal and how attractive a person is.  I'm sure you'd love to finish the deed.  How old are you?  Do you think this is psychological or physiological?  Meaning, would medication solve the issue.  In four years, you've had this difficulty with her or is this new?
I’m now 62 and have played with taking viagra on a completely empty stomach, and I think that helps but I’ve watched porn when taking it, just to see if I can achieve a better errection and I think I can, but although I’d love to test that theory out with my partner I dread to think if it doesn’t go to plan, she has said several times that as we will never completely have penetration, we won’t stay together, although that’s  her opinion, I would stay with her as we are so connected together but she is such a flirty woman she could pick up with someone else really easily, and that would kill me.
I have said before to her that it’s really hurtful when she puts me down, and is really negative but she just say well how do you think I feel when you could give your wife children but you can’t even do it with me , so it always ends up with me being the villain because I’ve not been able to satisfy her.
This has all ended now, she was particularly vile to me on an open Facebook post, so that’s the end of all that crap from her! But now knowing that I can’t perform I won’t even try from now on. I’m happy with that I guess, I would have loved to have completed that act with her, but oh well.
Oh, sorry to hear. About the idea that you can't perform and won't try. ED medication could solve that issue for you. But I AM glad you got rid of this rude woman. NOT worth it. Plenty of women just want to be loved. And enjoy sex but it's not the driving force. So, don't despair. She sounds terrible. There are better out there.
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