Recently i have had extreme issues keeping an erection for more than 5 min, and with getting off to early when i do have an erection. ( any thing below 5 min is to early i know). ive been married to my wife for 5 years now and before this started our sex life was great. not as frequent as she would have liked but great when we did have sex. for the past 6 months i have been having difficulty keeping it up. first it was for like 15 min then it would die. then 10 then 5, now its sometimes a moot point to even try and have sex. also when we have sex now i get off way to fast and she dosnt get off. i think ive trained my mind to get off before i lose it, that way she dosnt feel like she cant please me. (which was a big issue in the beginning) i feel very aroused during sex and i love my wife, im very attracted to her. with in the passed week i have had trouble maintaining one even while masturbating. its like i can get it half way there, but never fully erect. part of the time i cant even feel that i have a **** down there. its like the head goes numb. not tingly numb, but total absence of feeling. this problem is causing serious issues in our marriage, my wife wants and needs sex alot! its her destressor. i fknow im letting her down, and its causing a lot of distance between us. ive tried the herbal pills and extenze, they work a little but not enough to get me fully hard, helps with the lack of sensation as well. i take them every day 4 pills a day. she tells me its OK but awkward so she leaves the room. we have talked about it and she k nows its not me not wanting to have sex. i just cant it seems like. ive done research and i dont think its all in my mind and stress. im a EMT in training, have a 3 year old, work, and have a morage on a house we just bought, which now we must sell and move so she can have a better job. but every one has issues thats life and we find ways to cope. i smoke a hooka and have a few drinks on the weekend. i still dont think thats my issue, because before i drank alot more( was 3-4 drinks a day but i cut back a few months ago) and smoked a pack a day, (cig free for 3 years e-cig free 4 months) im worried i might have whats called venous leak...im only 25 and that type of issue is not common for men my age. i desperately need help and i am to embarrassed to go to the doctor. when i was 14-17 i had this problem kinda, it would come and go, i think that was just nerves back then. but it went away when i went to college the first time and when i meet my wife there. now its a daily battle to archive even a partial erection that i can do anything with. please help! if your a doctor, what do you think might be some posible reasons for my problem? as a EMT in training and a former nursing student i can understand medical jargon, so please dont dumb it down. i would apriciate any advice will help ive tried every thing.