Dear Desperate,
Any chance you can do some research and find out if Dr. Rushed is a good surgeon, even though he's a schmuck with bedside manner? I've had any number of surgeries (only 1 eye related, though) and have a lot of experiences with good, moderate and truly terrible doctors... lots of surgeons, in my experience, are really good at cutting sedated people, but truly terrible at talking to them. Others are good at it all, or, you know, really NOT good at any of it.
If you can find out if Dr. Rushed is a good surgeon but lousy at talking to you while awake, you could maybe private pay for the Out of Network appointment and second opinion, to ask all of your questions.... but go in network with Rushed for the surgery, maybe??? Just a thought, since I understand paying out of pocket for out of network surgery is not an affordable option.
My retina surgeon cleared me for cataract removal after vitrectomy to repair retina detachment 3 months ago. I went to my ophthalmologist who said that he was going to prescribe glasses. I said I really can see "OK" out of my good eye and am functioning until the cataract can be removed. He said to come back in 4 months and we will discuss, I stopped him and said can we discuss what my options are? He said go ahead and get the glasses. I should have pinned him down. Anyways, In between that time I saw the retina surgeon for a followup and he was surprised the cataract surgery didn't happen or wasn't even scheduled. He examined and did OCT on both eyes and said come back in a year unless there are complications from cataract removal. So, I decided to go to another ophthalmologist. She is in the same network and will be interesting if I go back to the first guy as he will know I went elsewhere. I see her in two days, she comes highly recommended by friends and family. I may go to a third one, will have to be out of network, if I don't get a good sense of caring / professionalism from her. Wished the retina surgeon did the cataract removal...he is top notch.
I seldom will stay with a doctor that will not communicate. I was referred to a Retinal soecialist for Wet Macular Degeneration and now get regular eye injections. This doctor has a very good reputation but is, excuse me, a pompous a$$. He does not like questions or to be questioned and can be very degrading. There is another group here but are actually a satellite location for their main practice almost 2 hours away or I would change. When I have questions, I address them to this doctor's assistant. Luckily, I have a PPO. I agree about writing down your questions and insisting he answer them. I would also infirm the dictor that referred you of the situation. Makes you wonder why some people even go into these professions.
1. You may have to go out of network. 2 If you like the 2nd ophthalmologist better you can say you don't want to go back to Dr. Rushed. 3. You can write down your questions and stand between the surgeon and the door and not let him out till he answers your questions.