Calling for a ban!

[si_di]

I'd like to ban all of those people who unexpectedly think they have conceived when not ttc from this forum since it's dedicated to FERTILITY.

Sorry but it's nerve recking along with everything else we all know, reading about this sort of thing when the majority of us would give a limb to get a BFP.

Write somewhere else,...but not in the fertility forum.
Just asking for a little 'savoir fair' that's all.

[pertykitty]

what i have done in the past when little betsy lu posts that situation is i tell her to please find the right forum and guide her to the right place.  ii still think someone should discuss this with medhelp.  i think having a forum that is dedicated strictly to infertility issues and maybe iui and in vitro would be a more comfortable place.  good luck ladies, i know someone will start a new string of bfps!!

[Nat256]

I know that's already been mentioned but I just wanted to add in my 2 cents worth and that is, that I agree with what everyone has written here already.

[Nat256]

I agree with you. Judging from the style of writing, grammar, etc... from most of those posts though I would have to say that it's not a stretch to believe that those who are simply posting their BFP are a little on the clueless side and completely unaware that their action is inappropriate. What really burns me up is when I see a question posted in this forum from some poor girl who is flipping out because she thinks she might be pregnant and wants advice as to whether she might have gotten "knocked up" or not. (or worse yet, what to do about "it" just in case she is pregnant). I think it was a few months ago when one such individual wrote to ask that if she just had unprotected sex with her boyfriend then could she possibly be pregnant? I'm not sure where she learned about the birds and bees but you just know her parents need to be slapped upside the head for that one. I just wanted to scream "go somewhere else! now!"

[si_di]

Wow, that felt good!!
Reading your posts was refreshing...it is soooooo true!
Hugs and baby dust in barrels to the both of you ;-)
Silvia

[mygoode]

EXACTLY!!  We all go through things like this daily and keep it all in because we think it's not PC/polite or we're not allowed to talk about it.  And I know it's negative thinking and we're supposed to concentrate on the positive... but sometimes we just need to vent and let these things out so we can go back to concentrating on the little bundles of joy we want so badly.  I think we should all take a moment to let off some steam.  After all... saying these things to people who don't understand is inviting that "what a b****" look.  Saying these things to women who know exactly what it means to want a child... well heck... it's like preaching to the choir.

[blueyes34]

There's a lady that lives 2 doors over from me, it's like she's the suburbian crack head.  Sh'e got 4 kids, all different daddies and has never worked a day in her life.  She has different men coming and going at all times of the day and night.  Her 1 year old runs around screaming and is constantly filthy.  She doesn't even have a phone!  She always has to borrow the neighbours!  Drives me nuts.  Here we all are looking at calendars, checking our temps, doing whatever else we need to do and she gets knocked up once a year by some random guy!  Whatever!

[pertykitty]

i always wanted an unplanned pregnancy lol.  i dont mean as a single woman with no job, but as a "ohhh what a surprise' kind of way lol.  i tried for a year with my son, 1 mc, and then my dd after a short time of trying.  my sister had to go through many obstacles and lost her uterus and an ovary eventually.  i can empathize but cant totally understand the pain from not being able to get pregnant.  you are right though.  it is so disheartning (um did i spell that right? Lol) to hear how little bo peep went out and had a drunken friday night and doesnt know who her  baby daddy is.  but life is such i guess, lots of different circumstances and different people.

[mygoode]

Ooohh... thanks for that.  I think I'll hang out in both for a while.  Thank you for the info!!

[mygoode]

See... that's why I love this forum.  All the women here are wonderful!  And honestly... it's nice to have someone to talk to that doesn't look at me like I'm awful when I don't want to talk about how someone is coping with an unwanted pregnancy.  I know I'm just jealous... and I know I shouldn't be... but I hate hearing about how her life is OVER when I'd give my I-teeth to be in her shoes.  Or the woman in my office who is pregnant (unplanned) with her 4th little girl.  She at least knows about my situation and has the decency not to rub it in.  It's still hard to see her "out to here" all day and not be jealous.

[pertykitty]

http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Baby-Dust/show/225

see if this works!  again dont leave this forum if you want to be here ;)

[pertykitty]

well i think ttc for 6 yrs is more than many can say!  i think you belong right here if you want to be here, dont let yourself feel you dont belong.  if you want to find the bd community maybe go to the top search and type it in.  ill see if i can find that link for you.  this forum isnt specific to women who havent concieved in years, or that have to undergo any other treatments.  there are guidlines and its hoped they are guided by.  now if you were michelle dugger and you came here i bet you would be whipped and tarred lol

[mygoode]

So how does one find this "hidden" community?  Do you have to be invited or something?  Do you feel my situation would be better suited there?  I certainly don't want to cause any additional pain.  I may not be seeing a RE but I understand how hard this is.

[prayingfor3rdblessing]

That Duggar woman is now preggo with #19! WOW some how doesn't seem fair......sorry, I don't know why that made me a bit irritated to hear about her.

[pertykitty]

there is a "hidden" community here on medhelp called babydust.  it is for those that are ttc.

[mygoode]

I totally understand ladies.  I've been dealing with that in every day life as well.  I seem to get bombarded with pregnant women who weren't trying, didn't want kids and may or may not deserve to have them in the first place (long story).  Knowing this, I sometimes wonder whether I even belong here.  I've tried off an on for a period of 6 years to get pregnant but I'm not seeing a specialist yet and am not undergoing any serious procedures at this time.  Unfortunately, there isn't a forum for women who are simply TTC on MedHelp.  If one has popped up in the last few months, feel free to correct me.  Even if there is... I'm fairly certain there isn't a forum for "holy **** we didn't use a condom and my irresponsible self thinks I may be pregnant even though I haven't missed my period yet".  Even worse... there's a thread going on in the Women's Health forum where a young lady wonders if she and her boyfriend of three months can get pregnant if she just had an abortion 4 months ago.  That debate has been going on for about three years now.  The trouble is... these women don't bother to read the previous posts to figure out what this forum is about.  They're scared and need someone to point out the obvious so they feel better.  Unfortunately, this kills the rest of us.  

I've seen on some other forums a notice that stays on the top of all other threads.  It is usually something obnoxiously obvious that said "READ THIS BEFORE POSTING".  Maybe that might give some of these women a clue as to the damage they might do if they say how their lives will be ruined if they're pregnant and ship them off to Women's Health.  Also, is it difficult to start a new forum?  Perhaps one is needed for those women who are TTC and don't have (or don't know if they have) fertility issues.

[pertykitty]

you havent offended.  i did understand, but i was saying that you can google i think im pregnant blah blah and you can be directed to this particular forum.  if someone has asked this question in the past, it will show up.  that in itself can bring a whole problem that maybe medhelp needs to address, i dont know.  

i have read those posts and it is something that should be posted in the other forums.  i do agree with you, it took me some time to concieve my ds, so to read about "accidental" pregnancies would be difficult to do.  

unfortunatly we also get trolls here (medhelp as a whole) where people have posted in the right forum but do it to be mean.  its not something that is right, but people arent right.  i wish you and everyone here the best of luck and hope we get a new string of bfp's very soon!

[gillianl]

i don't think some of you women posting have read the post correctly, women who THINK they have conceived when they are NOT TRYING to conceive are the people who pull on the nerve cords.  IF a woman is ttc and falls within a few months then good luck as for all of those with fertility issues.  But those who give the story "we weren't trying"  "freaked out i could be pregnant" this is what bc is supposed to help stop people conceiving that don't want or aren't ready for children.  I hope i haven't offended anyone with my comment

[Girlblink182]

I agree with pertykitty on this one too. The forum is supposed to be open to everybody, but sometimes I think people do post in the wrong area if they don't know the proper topic or place to post.

I suppose I can be classified as one of the people you'd like to keep out since I have never had to go on meds or do ivf or anything.

BUT, I have had issues getting and staying pregnant, so I think this should allow me to post in this forum.

I think alikat had a good idea for renaming the forum so it would be more obvious to people what the forum's main purpose or topic is.

[alikat1205]

I agree with you pertykitty, and to be fair, maybe this forum should be renamed "infertility" and then it would be more clear that those questions are not in the right place.

[pertykitty]

are you referring to people that just show up and they announce their pg?  i think some people arent really aware that this forum is full of women struggling with fertility issues.  if you are googling fertility i suppose it can just lead you to this forum, and maybe what you could do is just ignore (ya easier said than done) the post.  

this forum is also for ovulation, and relationship issues so it leaves a wide spectrum to who can ask question.  maybe contact medhelp if you really want to discuss this issue.

i am not trying to make anyone mad, i too have had issues years ago with concieving, but this isnt a private forum.  there are some sites that are dedicated strictly to fertility issues and maybe it would be easier to chat with others on those.

[stillwaiting52]

I agree, get the H- - - out of our forum!!!! Lol!

[kele1129]

Some people just do not understand the struggle. We went hrough 5 years of ttc and 2 full cycles of IVF before getting our amazing son. My sister-in-law tried telling me that she knew what we were going through as they dealt with infertility as well.....it took them 3 months to get the BFP...*sigh*

[gillianl]

i agree after ttc for 2 years and no luck and now having to see a fertility specialist makes things harder.  Congrats to those with a BFP but have a little consideration for those desperate for a child but having a lot of difficulty conceiving.

[blueyes34]

I hear ya, between all of the meds and tests that we have to go through it's dishearteneing when someone gets a BFP with no intervention.  I'm happy for them, it's just that this is definately not the page to post it on.