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750683 tn?1311856959

Feeling Helpless

After we lost our baby last May in my 19th week thru IVF. My husband promised that we would try again in January. Well, January has come and gone and everytime I mention it he changes the subject or just says nothing. The only thing that helped me to get thru my ordeal was knowing that I would try again. The real depression has really begun to hit me very hard and I no longer feel close to my husband, part of me is soo disappointed and angry at him for letting me down. I had all these hopes and dreams not to mention all the baby stuff I purchased from before my loss. I feel so betrayed by him. He doesn't want a baby but has not had the decency to tell me. I feel soo lonely and lost.
9 Responses
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961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
Thanks you I need all of the thoughts and prayers and good luck I can get!  Thanks for the kind words!!! : )

Baby Dust to you!!!
Helpful - 0
1130046 tn?1282042404
MHV_thinking of you and wishing good luck!
Helpful - 0
961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
Your going to get Preggers girl!!!  It's only a matter of time : )

PS... I want it badlyyyyyyyyyyyyy too!!!!
Miss You!
Melissa
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
If I get pregnant this time with a donor egg I am going to become a HUGE FAN of it :)
I can't wait for this process to go faster so I can have my transfer !!!!! (in about 2-3 months, not sure)

Please pray hard for me:) all of you!!! I want this badlyyyyyyyyy
Helpful - 0
961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
Thanks for you caring...Actually, we have only been doing IVF since last July. The last 6 1/2 were ttc, clomid, surgery for hubby... giving up and taking a break ect.
  We are using donor eggs : 0 )
I actually got preggers our first time, but ended in m/c cause I had build up in my uterus.  I am hopeful about our 3rd time though : )   Keep your fingers and toes crossed for me!! : )  (and I'll take all Prayers you would like to give me also : )  )  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am sorry you are struggling for so long with this.  Have you tried donor eggs?
Helpful - 0
961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
Girl I have cried more tears in the past 7 1/2 years  then you will ever know!  My husband doesn't really say much... but I know he's there for me.  When we miscarried, he told me not to be sad because we would just look foward to the next try.   Men kinda suck at this.  That's why so many of us are on here ALL THE TIME! haha!
But I'm the one that makes all the appts, and I just tell him when he has to go with me for transfers.  I know he wants to be a dad so bad!  
I actually kind of quit going to babyshowers all together.... which reminds me....
There is a wonderful video for you to watch...
It's at Hopeandtears.com  
Please take the time to watch it. It say SO much!  Someone on here told us about it, It is truly amazing!  
Feel free to jump in on any posts on here... I promise you these women will lift you up sooo high, you will feel like anything is possible!   we also have a post called BFP's, 2ww, and TTC... take a look at it... All of the people on there have gotten there BFP;s since January.... It should help show you that this process DOES WORK!

Please let me know when you make your appointment ok???????

You are in my thoughts and prayers....
SUPER STICKY BABY DUST TO YOU AND SHOWERS AND SHOWERS OF IT OVER THE COMING MONTHS!!!!!
Melissa
Helpful - 0
750683 tn?1311856959
Awe thanks Melissa I'm reading your response and crying bcause I feel like finally somebody understands me. ALL of my friends are either pregnant or just had a baby. Some think that I'm jealous but truly I am not I'm very excited and happy for them. I just want the same for myself. I want my own little bundle of joy, I want to sport a baby bump, I want to go to the weekly gatherings of pregos and new moms too.

I look at all the baby stuff from time to time trying to imagine what it would be like or how the baby would like look in a certain outfit and people saying "OMG your baby is soo cute" I feel like if I don't look at it it may not happen for us.

I will take you advice and start making my appointments and hopefully I will get a positive response from him

I wish you and your husband the best...........I send you some baby dust <3<3<3<3

the dust worked for 4 of my friends
Helpful - 0
961574 tn?1520648103
COMMUNITY LEADER
mhv
Maybe he's just afraid.  I'm sure the m/c hit him very hard too.  Men are not good a "talking" or "sharing" feelings and maybe he just doesn't know how to communicate his fears.  I am sooo sure he is still hurting, and it's not that he doesn't want a baby.
  I'm sure he has hopes and dreams to, but is afraid they will never come true.
This is such a struggle for couples.  I am suprised any of us make it through without getting divorced.  My husband and I have struggled for 7 1/2 years with infertility ,and a m/c last aug after our first transfer. I have baby stuff sitting in my closet too.  I hate to even look them...  
We have done 1 more transfer and got a BFN, and my husband said "why didn't it work?" he couldn't understand that it had worked the first time, even though we m/c and the 2nd... nothing.  I couldn't understand either.  We are currently in the beginning of our 2ww from our 3rd transfer, and I am praying like crazy that this one works.  I myself have wanted to "just forget the whole thing" more then once... have I ever told my husband that no!  But it is emotionally taxing and draining.
Please don't feel betrayed by him.  Maybe if you get the ball rolling by making another appt. w/ the doc, it will help "get the wheels moving" in his head, and he will be wililng to put faith into "it will work".  This is hard on us all husbands and wives.  AND IT *****!


YOU WILL GET TO PUT THAT BABY STUFF TO USE!!!

Good Luck my Friend!  We are all here for you!  Please lean on us!!!  

((HUGS))))
Melissa
Helpful - 0
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