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Fertility Over 40

I'm a little nervous, but here we go~
I am a 44 year old mother of 2, 18 and 13. I've had a miscarraige 2 years ago and another just a year ago.  I have a blocked right fallopian tube, and a history of fybroid cysts, which almost made me loose my daughter, who is now 13-I had surgery in my 3rd trimester to remove the cyst, which was the size of a grapefruit.  I have remarried almost 7 years and now my husband  (41) and I have been actively trying to conceive for the past 2 years. We have been off birth control for at least 4 years. As mentioned previously, both times ended in miscarriages within the first trimester. I am looking to see what we can do to get this last little one, why some may ask? I'm almost "free" of kids-although my husband has helped me raise my daughters and loves them dearly, we both want a child together.  I've tried the ovulation testing, but wasn't dilligent with it as I have committed myself to be for this effort.  We can't afford invetro fertilization, so we want to know what our options are.  I'm willing to take clomid or any type of medicine to help with my conception.   My cycle has been pretty stable for a while, every 30 days, pretty much like clockwork. My question is are there any suggestions of medicines, "sperm friendly" lubricants, ovulation tests, anyone can recommend.  Maybe even a support group of women over 35...I'm excited about the possibilites of having a little one, but also know the reality of conceiving and going full term...So any doctors, midwives, women who have an urge to share...let me hear from you!  I would appreciate any information you can share!
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270435 tn?1206814394
Hello. This is a forum for women over 40 who are TTCers - http://www.fertilityover40.com/.  I love this forum as I am 40 because I get lots of support and am constantly reading of women conceiving. The owner of the site conceived after 40 naturally but she did use meds so Clomid is not a bad idea or maybe even other meds if you your purse will allow. There is a one time $5 or $10 fee to join (forget how much exactly) but it's just one time and worth it!  I agree with B6 and preeseed and also recommend B1. There are lots of herbs that would also be recommended but not if you go the Clomid route so keep us posted with your decision and we can help out more.  Best to you and your hubby.  God does grant us our heart desires even if it is with a little help from meds, REs, and us!

Lisa
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332747 tn?1198120117
Thanks.  :-)
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Avatar universal
HeathJo is right that 40smama is 44 and pregnant, but I'm 99.9% sure she has said she used donor egg ivf after an ivf cycle with her own eggs didn't work.  Just FYI, LJ is right that you have a lot more time if you are willing to consider donor eggs.  I think the standard cut off for a woman willing to use donor eggs is your 50th birthday.  Many REs say they have a success rate of around 80% for an ivf cycle using donor eggs; the RE chooses a donor who looks like you, and of course, the child is biologically related to your husband/partner.   At first this idea seemed really odd to my husband and me, but after two miscarriages and lots of worry about all of these statistics, we are becoming much more enthusiastic about the process.  My friend is 47 and pregnant with twins from donor eggs and feels they are definitely "hers."  So the donor egg option is always out there for you, but I would definitely still see if an RE can help you conceive on your own first.  Let us know how it goes--as LJ said, the 35+ forum as lots of 40-something women who have tried various things, so you might also find support there!
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Avatar universal
Hi LJ307~
You were included in the thanks I sent, but your name didn't appear...So please know that I appreciate your comments and thoughts as well!!  I just didn't want to leave you out!! smile!
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Avatar universal
Hi Ladies!

Thank you SO SO MUCH!!! Wow! I will work on the RE as soon as I can.  The information you have sent is so informative, helpful and honest...I NEED THAT!!  I'll check into the suggestions of PreSeed, Vitamin B6, the support groups and the other information shared. Thanks for the empathy on the miscarriages. My husband and I worked through them together and I have a lot of support from my family. I'm grateful!  The best to all of you who are trying to conceive as well and hopefully we'll have some baby photos to share...but if not, this part of the journey has truly been worthwhile and cherished!  I have renewed encouragement!
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332747 tn?1198120117
I'm very sorry to hear about your miscarriages.  I know that must be very painful.  The positive side is, you are able to get pregnant, you have 3 beautiful children and a wonderful husband.  You've got a lot going for you.  I know it would be really wonderful for you and your dear hubby to have a child of your own.  I would suggest you run, don't walk to an RE as BG-MN suggested.  I'm 42 and have just started trying to have a baby for the 1st time.  After much research I've discovered this is a very challenging feat.  Pregnancy after 42 is statistically low, and 43 even lower and so on.  But, like I said you've been pregnant so that is a great sign.  I can't elaborate much on what BG-MN said.  She's right on on everything she mentioned.  Please start with a visit witn an RE.  
Another good news, if you're willing to use donor eggs pregnancy is successful for women upwards of 48 with IVF. (I understand this can be a financial burden).  Also, I know of at least 2 women who conceived naturally at the age of 48!  Very, very rare indeed.  But, it happens.  Best of luck to you!  
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328927 tn?1227761840
Hi there! I'll try to give you some resources to answer your questions. First, PreSeed is the lubricant of choice on this forum, as it emulates cervical mucus and is sperm-friendly. Regarding OPKs, follow this link http://www.fertilityplus.org/faq/opk.html.

Do a search on this forum for Vitamin B6, as there is a process/dosage protocol that many women swear by.

You will find a great support of women over 35 both here and in the Pregnancy over 35 Forum, which, although I am not pregnant, I visit with questions.

There is a member on this forum, 40smama, who is 44 and pregnant, and many other success stories. Don't give up hope! We are here for you!

Helpful - 0
328927 tn?1227761840
Hi there! I'll try to give you some resources to answer your questions. First, PreSeed is the lubricant of choice on this forum, as it emulates cervical mucus and is sperm-friendly. Regarding OPKs, follow this link http://www.fertilityplus.org/faq/opk.html.

Do a search on this forum for Vitamin B6, as there is a process/dosage protocol that many women swear by.

You will find a great support of women over 35 both here and in the Pregnancy over 35 Forum, which, although I am not pregnant, I visit with questions.

There is a member on this forum, 40smama, who is 44 and pregnant, and many other success stories. Don't give up hope! We are here for you!

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I forgot to say I'm sorry about your miscarriages; I know how painful those can be!  Also, the other thing an RE can do for you is monitor your progesterone if you do conceive and give you precription progesterone if it's low (as it often is in women over 40).  Best wishes to you!
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Avatar universal
If you really want a baby at 44, you should go to a Reproductive Endocrinologist as soon as possible.  Most REs won't do ivf on women over 43, so that's not even an option, and the cut off for any other kind of fertility treatments is usually your 45th birthday.  Fertility really declines rapidly after 42, so every month matters.  An RE would do some blood tests (like a 3rd day FSH together with an estradial test) to see how many eggs you likely have left; however, an even bigger problem at 44 is egg quality, which means a high miscarriage rate even if you do conceive.  My understanding is that the odds of conceiving at age 44 are about 5% if you do ivf, so much lower if you're trying to conceive naturally.  The odds of conceiving naturally at age 45 are 1/2% or 1 in 200, and there is a 75%-80% miscarriage rate.  I know all of these statistics firsthand, as I got married at 45, and suddenly was hit by the hard truth by several doctors when I asked about my chance of conceiving.  Now I've just turned 46 and have had two pregnancies and miscarriages since last spring.  (I have a very good FSH score for my age, but both my ob-gyn and RE have been very surprised by these pregnancies.  The famous women over 43 getting pregnant, particularly with twins, are likely using donor eggs.)  At age 44, you really, really have no time to waste trying a variety of approaches suggested by non-physicians, so if you really want a baby, I hope you will move fast and see a specialist!  (Sorry to be negative about your chances, but I wish I'd been told how quickly fertility diminishes in one's mid-40s at an earlier point!)
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