HOLY POO! You will NOT believe this!!!! POSITIVE TODAY!

[scienceteacher79]

As you all know - 2 weeks ago I was getting very very fainbt positives. Started bleeding 2 saturdays ago (brown and weird looking). Went to have my blood test done almost 2 wks ago EXACTLY! "Less than one" was my beta test. So, after all the money and pain, we lost another baby - or so I THOUGHT! Now, I had a little period the few days after I started bleeding - brownish, reddish, chunky (sorry - TMI!) - nothing like a normal period but whatever. Anyway, I finally had sex with DH again Saturday (yesterday) and started to spot (brown - dark, no red) which is completely weird. I never spot in between periods. Anyway, i had one digital test left and said "what the heck". I had literally JUST peed 5 mins before and managed to sqeeze out a few drops (like 5! haha) into a cup and stuck the test in. It started blinking so I jumped in the shower and put it on the outside ledge. AND THEN I SAW IT! YES+ IT SAID YES+!! So, i screamed for DH, tried to explain it to him and then started to laugh hysterically. IT WAS ALL I COULD DO!! HAHAHAHAH! So, of course I ran to walmart and got more tests!! HAHAH!! They are all positive! Not as dark as I feel they should be for almost 6 wks so I am not thinking this is going to work out to be a good scenerio BUT that is the darkest tests I HAVE EVER HAD!! HAHAHAH - I can not believe this. I am going to the doc at 8am sharp and hopefully will know something by 3 or 4pm tomorrow.

It is either going to be: remnants of something that tried to grow, an ectopic (god I hope not - I only have one good unblocked tube), or a miracle baby - sweet Lord! I am so freaked out right now!!!

Any thoughts?

[Helen72]

very strange about no tissue...  I hope you recuperate over the weekend.
((HUGS))

[scienceteacher79]

I am back from the procedures. He did a Lap., hysteroscopy, and d&c. Here is the weird part: There was no tissue at all (no baby tissue) in the uterus. It stumped him. He even called other docs to find out why I would have a raised HCG and no tissue. He did a quick D andC to just clean it out in case. He didn't find anything in the tube so who knows. My left tube was still wide open, left is still blocked but uterus and cervix are "perfect". So overall, everything looks good. 5 yrs of TTC and still nothing as to why I can't carry another pregnancy (besides now knowing about the blood clotting stuff). Meds are kicking in - laying down again. hugs :)

PS: Had to do the enema to clear me out and flatten the colon to give the doc a better view in there, so it didn't block my uterus and stuff.

[bfromthed]

hellloooo

[bfromthed]

I am new to this thread but not this site asking for all + prayers as I go for my u/s on Monday I AM SUSPECTED OF HAVING A BLIGHTED OVUM AND WE ARE DSEVASTED AS WE FOUND OUT YESTERDAY THEY FOUND 2 SAC AND NO FETAL POLE BUT YOLK SACS SO WE ARE GOING IN ON MONDAY FOR ANOTHER U/S MY BETA IS ALMOST 5300 AND TODAY I AM 5 WEEKS AND 5 DAYS ACCORDING TO LAST AF

[kris71]

scienceteacher - so sorry for your loss. I too just endured a miscarriage and D&C 2 weeks ago so i also know what you're going through. I feel the same as you and I've only been at this on and off since February. the $$, the heartache, the weight gain, the depression, the fatigue... I feel like a whale right now and have nothing to show for it but an empty bank account. Part of me wants to take a long break from this although age won't really let me (i'm 38 soon to be 39) and part of me wants to keep going and going and going. Anyway - good luck with the enima - not sure why you have to do that, i didn't have to with my D&C and let us know how you feel after the procedure.

[scienceteacher79]

I will definately pop in here and there :) I love to check on everyone and see GOOD news :) I am off to buy this enema thing (which i am dreading more than the stupid surgery!). Ugh - but I have a good thing right now: I am driving my (MAYBE!) new Tundra :) It is in the driveway - i won't know for a few more days if I am going to keep it and trade in my sportscar (I love my Solara!) - but I at least get to drive this thing to walmart to pick up my booty washer outer thing :0 ) hahahaha. Wish me luck. I will let you know how I am after the drugs wear off and I am lucid :) Hugs and love girls!

Jen

[Helen72]

Jen,
I hope everything goes well for you tomorrow and you will be able to take that much deserved break.  Please post how it all goes.  We all here love you!!!

[mhv]

You are an amazing person with amazing strength.  You have amazing humor and give much neede support to so many!  
I sooo agree with you that this long fertility road changes a person.  I feel it has taken the sparkle out of my eye, it takes the spring outta my step.  I watch everyone around have successful pregnancies and yet, we just sit here waiting... dealing with a year old m/c.  I don't know how/why I keep trying... well, yes I do.  I do because I want to hold my little one in my arms and cannot wait to change dirty diapers.  I want a child to take to Disney, and to the beach... It's just so dang frusterating!
I have spent more $ on this then I have anything in my life! (my hubby already had his house when we got married) and would spend thousands more just for a healthy pregnancy!
We will get there someday!  I believe that!  I have to believe that our I will just lay down on the floor right here at work and sob... (that would be weird huh??)
I wish you success, and fullfillment.  We are always here for you when you decide to "pop" back in... and if you are anything like me... that will be often!  

Keep in touch, drink some wine... and Hang In There!
Melissa

[usuk]

try DHEA. i have been on it for 3 days and i feel more like myself. a bit more "gumption" and laughing harder. it's meant to help with egg quality so i did not make the connection until this morning but although i am sad, it's way deep down under some layers of bravado (spelling?) now. i think it's an anti aging thing and believe me this last 3 years has aged me.

understand if you need to "vacate the premises" but will miss you.

[JennTTC]

You deserve that glass of wine!!!!!! Enjoy it!!!!

[scienceteacher79]

I will just be happy to have it all done with. We have decided to forgo TTc for about a year. I need the lose the million pounds this fertility junk has put on me. And frankly I need a LONGGGGGGGGGGG break from all of this. I am a bitter, bitter woman from the toll it has taken on me. I am tired of the running around, stabbing myself, paying thousands upon thousands of $ (which i will be paying again on friday - ugh - MORE $ down the toilet), the stress, the heartache, the disappointment, the anger - i need a break from it all. I am not the person I used to be. I am depressed a good bit of the time, my body has gone to hell, I am tired all the time - did I mention depressed? :) So, hopefully all of this will go fine and we can go on with our lives like normal, rational human beings for a while. Then decide what we want to do in a little while. Ugh - I need a glass of wine :)

[Helen72]

I am so sorry Jen.
But I know lots of ladies got prego after a lap.  I hope it works for you.
What a rollercoaster!!!!

[scienceteacher79]

hahaha - it is but I didn't mean it to be :0 ) hahaha

[usuk]

was that a pun???? "enema" and "crap over soon".  

[scienceteacher79]

hcg went from 43 to 38 - wow three whole points in TWO WEEKS! I told them it wouldn't work!! So, D and C with a laproscropy (spelling?) on Friday. yay (sarcastic)... and the best part: I have to give myself an enema the night before! WHAT? EWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is nasty! Not looking forward to that but at least all this crappppp should be over soon :)

[usuk]

you are right. to make you wait is just adding insult to injury. but you are on top of it and know what to look out for. so you are not taking this lying down. (ewww sorry that sounds kinky) what i mean is that you are not just trusting doctors and twiddling your thumbs waiting to bleed. thinking of you....

[Verysoon]

I am praying for you!

[scienceteacher79]

I left for vacation early so I didn't get my bloodwork done (stupid to spend 30 bucks everytime they wanted me in there just to watch my levels fall)! I am scheduled to go in tomorrow. I have had no bleeding, no cramps, nothing! I knew the stupid shots wouldn't work. I think i was at 43 when they gave me the shots. Surely after almost 2 weeks the levels SHOULD have fallen enough to bleed. I already made an appt for Monday with my OB/GYN. I do not want another round of shots and more waiting. My hcg levels didn't fall right with the first pregnancy and ended up practically peeing blood it was pouring out of me so much, and ended up with an emergency d and c because there was (and I quote) "so much tissue in there". i just want this crappppp over with. Is that too much to ask? I mean REALLY! I have been through enough these two months. So, if they are not going down or I don't start bleeding and getting rid of the tissue, I will be begging for a d and c from my OB (I don't want my fertility doc TOUCHING my insides - he doesn't even get blood tests right, don't want him messing with my junk!). I am just waiting for some raging infection to set in and scar me for life or something - that would be the icing on the cake. Then if I get the d and c (which may have been what clogged the first tube - we don't know - its a theory), I will have to have an HSG again before we start TTC again because of the possibility of scarring the only open tube I have....UGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! We will see tomorrow what the blood test says. Hugs to all my girls -

Jen

[sheenattc5years]

im so sorry that you had to go thru all that, i just wanted to thank you for your help on my post, you gave a glimmer of hope, i hope all is well with you and your family and again thank you

[Misskytti]

I hope you r pregnant and all goes well  keep us updated!!!  

[scienceteacher79]

oooh! I will see what the numbers do on Tuesday - if they go down a good bit, I will have a glass. :)

Helen - yeha, it *****. If it is bad in ife, it happens to me. Always been that way. Apparently me or my family (all the way back to whenever) did something reallyyyyyyyyyyyy bad to pee God off somewhere. Curse is the term I keep thinking of. I wonder if we were witches or something? My family is completely irish so i find it hard to see us as witches :) Maybe we were drunk and herding our sheep one day in Ireland and ran over someone with a sheep and killed them!!!! Like a driveby, but more like a SHEEPby! WAHAHAHA!! :)

Oh well, we will try again one day and pray I have all my cursed bad luck out of the way. 2010 started off so awesome (Well, the first couple of days were great then it all went downhill quickly!). I finally thought I was going to have a good year - BLECH!

[Helen72]

I am so sorry to see what you are going through.  This is so sad and unfair...  I hope you can have that big drink soon.
Hugs,
Helen

[seattleview]

My RE told me it would be fine to have a drink or two after my methotrexate injections. She literally said "just don't go home and drink an entire bottle of wine". I had a couple beers the evening of my second round of injections and I was and am just fine. :)

[scienceteacher79]

babywanted - we don't know if it is ectopic or not, probably not. HCG is too low to see anything either way. The shot should dissolve everything (notice, i said SHOULD). I only have one good tube that is not blocked so removing it wouldn't be smart at all :) We will see what the future holds - if the shot doesn't take care of it, I am going to push for the D and C instead of another round of shots that probably won't work anyway.