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Avatar universal

I MISCARRIED

I heard the worst news ever yesturday. The nurse told me my numbers went from 322 to 39 and I had miscarried. No bleeding because of the pegestrone she said but I am bleeding tears. I have never felt this type of pain in my heart ever!!!!!!! I know time will heal but right now all I can do is wonder what I could have done differently and why I wont be having my baby in October and why after 4 years of being poked and prodded and medicated could I get so close but yet so far. I'm right back to the beginning....no baby. Thanks to all of you for your support during this rollercoaster ride.
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Avatar universal
Hi Desparado, I am so sorry to read this. You have the best attitude. I will say a prayer for you.
Krissy68
Helpful - 0
254689 tn?1251180040
Hi sweetie - I'm so sorry to read this news as I was thrilled for your BFP.  However, I love your wonderful positive attitude about the slogan - we will!!!  I have total faith in you!
Helpful - 0
218177 tn?1240140219
I'm so sorry for you loss. I wrote you back after your doctors appt. on your personal E-mail. Just checking in to see how your doing. You are in my prayers.
Debra
Helpful - 0
369912 tn?1229650090
I'm glad you've found an ability to talk about it.  I think that is key to overcoming the pain.  I miscarried in my early 20's and felt like I had no support system.  The first year after I miscarried I was unable to even name what had happened to me (I called the m/c 'my illness').  My pregnancy was unplanned but when it happened I wanted that baby more than anything in the world. The m/c came as a great shock.  Everyday I blamed myself and questioned what I could have done differently.  Thank god I have a lovely dh and kind people to support me if it were to happen again.  I have been ttc for a short while now and could not imagine the pain I would feel if I m/c after the monthly rollercoaster of ttc'ing.  A m/c is horrible, painful, unfortunate, seemingly unforgiving assault on our emotions and life.  But it is not your fault and as silly as it sounds, it just takes time.  Time will heal your pain.  So just take it day by day and talk to those lovelies who support you in your life.  Your positive thoughts and positive wishes will find their way into a wee bean that will stick.  Good luck and my heart goes goes out to you.
Helpful - 0
359142 tn?1321120923
I'm so sorry for your loss sweetie.  I hope your heart mends soon and you can begin a new journey.
Helpful - 0
178239 tn?1277405491
I am a three timer myself and it hurts so much. You did not do anything wrong and there was nothing you could have done to prevent it. We look for reasons and someone/thing to blame. Most times we won't ever know what the reason was. Time does heal, it just takes a lot of it. I am so sorry ((((hugs))))
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I know what you are going through and you are in my thoughts xx
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Sweetie, I'm so glad you posted agin. You really had been in my thoughts. It sounds like you have already started to make it to the other side.
It gets a little eaiser every day.
Remember you are in many prayers and thoughts.
Helpful - 0
334926 tn?1436811523
I am sorry for your loss...I will pray for you and your family...stay stong..
Helpful - 0
403788 tn?1237037212
I'm so so sorry for your loss. Having lost my 1st pregnancy in dec I know there are no words that can begin to help the pain your feeling right now : (  Ive found its best to just take it one day at a time.  You cant let yourself go crazy with the what ifs... trust me it doesnt get you anywhere. Only time will help you heal... its been 6 weeks for me and I still have my bad days, but i promis it gets better.  Dh and I have made sunday our cuddle day to help with all my built up emotion/stress from the week.  Dont fight the tears... I tried that for the first few weeks and it made it much worse for me.  Im very very sorry

*hugs*
Helpful - 0
173145 tn?1301700850
Thats the way to think, good girl, WE WILL!!!!! im liking that it should be our slogan:)


One day gosh darn it WE WILL!!!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Wow ladies many thanks for ALL your considerate words. It makes it sooooo much better knowing there are people who really understand and really care since we all share a common need. I cried so much my eyes were practically shut up. I'm just now feeling like talking and praying because I still believe that it was a blessing that I was even able to conceive.

I WILL get pregnant again and I WILL carry to full term and I WILL have a healthy beautiful baby or babies and so will YOU!!!!!!!! we must believe that and we must put it out there in the universe. Even though we often get discouraged and disappointed we must never feel defeated.
Thanks again FRIENDS and may God bless us all
Helpful - 0
405370 tn?1332206110
I'm so sorry to hear this!  I too am on progesterone so I always wonder how I could tell if I miscarried.  I feel so sad for you and I will pray for you that you will become pg again very soon.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
hi baby girl, i just had my 4th cycle and is all emotion and effort gone down the drain. with all my heart i know how it feels but please do not start blaming yourself for things beyond your control. it hurts but please be strong

Love you
Helpful - 0
367854 tn?1241610267
I'm in the same boat as you are.  I just got a call from my doctor and my numbers are going down.  This was my 2nd IVF, I am 43, and I have no problem getting preg, but staying preg. is my problem.  I think I'm going to have to usr donor eggs.  THIS SUCKS!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am so sorry to hear about your loss!  I had 2 m/c in 2007 so you are not alone.  It is a very painful experience to go through.  not many people understand how devasted you can be by this.  I still feel sad inside but I am doing better.  Still trying desparatly to conceive again but so afraid it will happen again.  Don;t give up hope.  I know it is easier said than done.  Here is a poem that I found online that sums up how we feel:

Just Those Few Weeks

For those few weeks -
I had you to myself
And that seems too short a time
To be changed so profoundly

In those few weeks -
I came to know you...
and to love you.
You came to trust me with your life.
Oh, what a life I had planned for you!

Just those few weeks -
When I lost you I lost a lifetime of hopes,
plans, dreams and aspirations...
A slice of my future simply vanished overnight.

Just those few weeks -
It wasn't enough time to convince others
how important and special you were.
How odd, a truly unique person has recently died
And no-one is mourning the passing.

Just a few more weeks -
And no 'normal' person would cry all night
over a tiny unfinished baby,
or get depressed and withdraw day after endless day.
No-one would, so why am I?

You were just those first few weeks my little one
you darted in and out of my life too quickly.
But it seems that's all the time you needed
to make my life so much richer
and give me a small glimpse of eternity.
Helpful - 0
370736 tn?1247242917
I am so sorry. Please do not feel like you did something wrong. You are in my prayers.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
So, so very sorry. This heartbreak can't even be described. Just know...YOU WILL get through all of this (ugh!..I know, doesn't seem possible!) And even when you want to kick the docs and nurses smack in the face for telling you that it happened for a reason, know that it is true. I had a m/c in December and just wanted to explode with....why me, why me, why me!!! But have finally come to terms and know that something was wrong with the little one and nothing I did or didn't do could have changed anything. You have a great support system...and know we are all thinking and praying for you and your family.
Helpful - 0
237300 tn?1231454718
Oh, I'm soooo sorry!  My thoughts and prayers are with you...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
corrections: you were RIGHT about time will heal....

sorry
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Oh sweetie, I am soo sorry.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am really really sad to hear this news... I know how you feel. I've done that 3x.. I am still asking why me!!! you were about time will heal.. but now you have to grieve and just let your emotions go and let it know that we are here for you.. don't think that you could of done different things so this thing never would have happened. If it meant to be..it will.

Hang in there......keep in touch...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I so know how you feel, it is like your heart is breaking.  I've had 3 m/c and that's how it has felt every time.  

Try to stay hopeful, I know its hard especially considering the time you've spent trying to conceive.  You did everything you could, its not your fault you had a m/c.  

Right now you need some time to heal (physically and emotionally).  Its so frustrating, I know, but remember you do still have a chance.  The fact that you got pregnant is a good sign.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I so know how you feel, it is like your heart is breaking.  I've had 3 m/c and that's how it has felt every time.  

Try to stay hopeful, I know its hard especially considering the time you've spent trying to conceive.  You did everything you could, its not your fault you had a m/c.  

Right now you need some time to heal (physically and emotionally).  Its so frustrating, I know, but remember you do still have a chance.  The fact that you got pregnant is a good sign.
Helpful - 0
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