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IVF - A Pain.................
IVF - this is much bigger pain than i imagined.This is my first IVF. I pay my tribute to women who go through multiple cycles. This whole thing is such a pain physically; mentally; emotionally; financially and what not! I am a needle phobia girl and now i am poked all over; my stomache for shots; my hands for blood; i take all the shots; medicines; and i go for a scan to hear; hey you know what you are not responding!!!!!! why in the hell my body does not respond!!!! can anybody answer that!!!!! i know there might a beautiful ending for every IVF rather for most of the IVFs. I cant handle the stress! i cant handle the pressure! it aches all over the body it aches in the heart; it aches in the stomache; it sheds my tears so much; I hate it.
babyhope -- Stress management is a big part of IVF (and, of course, of parenthood, too lol). I could not have gone through as many IVF cycles as I have without a really good counselor. I talked to her about it a lot, and she kept me grounded. You're 33, you have 19 more years at least that an IVF clinic will take you. (My clinic has an age-52 cutoff point.) After a certain point, donor embryos is the suggested protocol, but otherwise it's all the same. You are not at the end of your choices even with AMH that is low. So don't give up hope! And please believe me, this forum has seen women beefing and moaning about a lot more trivial things than you are talking about, so please don't hesitate. I was just going through the mental process that helped me to cope through my failed cycles. It is true that IVF is a pain, but the pain of infertility was worse, and IVF at least is a route out of that.
worth -- being a parent of a 20-month-old is definitely less stressful than IVF. I look forward to the time when I can throw away my sharps container for the fact that it represents the endless shots; just not too soon, since it will also represent that my last chance is done. (After five rounds, I can't tell you how many shots, though I had to give them to myself since my husband is often out of town.) I was talking about the whole life of challenges relating to parenthood, which I originally was thinking take 20 years or so but then my friends with kids say it never really stops. (Illnesses and accidents, drug exposure at school, behavior issues, school issues, disappointments, fighting, all the things a kid faces in life, take a chunk out of a parent's hide too, or cause stresses in her marriage.) Happily, along with the worry is the joy. But IVF, even with the heavy difficulty of all the appointments and the shots, and the emotional loads on every part of it, and the stresses, is a short time by comparison. I was thinking that if IVF is too hard for a person's emotional makeup, they might take some steps to be sure the long marathon of parenthood is not overwhelming.
worth -- being a parent of a 20-month-old is definitely less stressful than IVF. I look forward to the time when I can throw away my sharps container for the fact that it represents the endless shots; just not too soon, since it will also represent that my last chance is done. (After five rounds, I can't tell you how many shots, though I had to give them to myself since my husband is often out of town.) I was talking about the whole life of challenges relating to parenthood, which I originally was thinking take 20 years or so but then my friends with kids say it never really stops. (Illnesses and accidents, drug exposure at school, behavior issues, school issues, disappointments, fighting, all the things a kid faces in life, take a chunk out of a parent's hide too, or cause stresses in her marriage.) Happily, along with the worry is the joy. But IVF, even with the heavy difficulty of all the appointments and the shots, and the emotional loads on every part of it, and the stresses, is a short time by comparison. I was thinking that if IVF is too hard for a person's emotional makeup, they might take some steps to be sure the long marathon of parenthood is not overwhelming.
I have to say that I disagree with you somewhat. I have a 20 month old son and being a parent is MUCH less stressful (emotionally, physically, etc) than going through the IVF process!! I am now 15 weeks pregnant after going through IVF twice and again, I am so much happier now that all the IVF stuff is done. I absolutely LOVE being a mother!! I WILL say that all of the heartache of the IVF process IS worth it in the end. But it is DIFFICULT to go through while you're in the midst of it. And having it not work out was probably one of the most heartbreaking things I've ever had to go through (besides miscarriages). So I just want to say to babyhope40527 to NOT GIVE UP. And it is COMPLETELY fine to express your grief. Most of us here on this forum understand 100% and we are rooting for you and are willing to talk you through this if you need it!! I understand about the shots thing, too. I counted up and realized that by the time we were rfinished with the IVF process, my husband had given me a total of 168 shots! I am SO over needles for the moment! Ha ha!
Anyway - hang in there! The stress of IVF will soon be a distant memory and you will have your glorious baby to hold in your arms. It is ALL WORTH IT!!!
Sending love and prayers your way!!
Anyway - hang in there! The stress of IVF will soon be a distant memory and you will have your glorious baby to hold in your arms. It is ALL WORTH IT!!!
Sending love and prayers your way!!
Thank you for the encouragement and support.
After 8 days of very high dosage; only 2 mature follicles showed up. i continue the same dosage till monday. if i cant make one more; cycle gets cancelled; my AMH is very low; i am 33; and i went through a divorce in my life; and have been dreaming to have a child since i am 18. i became too vulnerable emotionally and hence stress management became a very big challenge. i have decided not to express my grief anymore.
Will wait for tuesday's scan. you have a good weekend.
After 8 days of very high dosage; only 2 mature follicles showed up. i continue the same dosage till monday. if i cant make one more; cycle gets cancelled; my AMH is very low; i am 33; and i went through a divorce in my life; and have been dreaming to have a child since i am 18. i became too vulnerable emotionally and hence stress management became a very big challenge. i have decided not to express my grief anymore.
Will wait for tuesday's scan. you have a good weekend.
Take it as a dress rehearsal for being a parent. Right now, you have the luxury of saying "I can't take it! I can't handle the pressure! It sheds my tears so much!" and walking away from the strain and stress of IVF. But if you are serious about a child, the pain in the a** that IVF is, is nothing by comparison to some of the tough issues of taking good care of your kids. When there is a real, live child in the mix, you simply don't have the option of throwing up your hands and saying "I can't handle the pressure!" Even with a good child, there are times when the mom is truly at the end of her rope (they don't say "child-rearing is not for sissies" for nothing). If you say, "But I could cope with that if I had the joy of having a child," then do this mental gymnastic -- remember that IVF, imperfect and painful as it is, is the pathway to a child if anything is. It wasn't here 20 years ago, and a lot of people had to stop before you are having to stop. It's an opportunity, you are not a victim of it.
ps -- a little key to address needle phobia is to get a party blower, those that curl up when not being blown and flatten out when blown and make a noise. Have the person with the shot say "One, two, three!" and on three, you blow out on the blower really loud and they give you the shot. It works because it is so silly; you're too busy laughing at how goofy it is to be very bothered by the shot.
ps -- a little key to address needle phobia is to get a party blower, those that curl up when not being blown and flatten out when blown and make a noise. Have the person with the shot say "One, two, three!" and on three, you blow out on the blower really loud and they give you the shot. It works because it is so silly; you're too busy laughing at how goofy it is to be very bothered by the shot.
I wish I had the answers to your questions and could say something that would make you feel completely better, but I can't. I can tell you that I do know exactly how you feel. IVF is one the most frustrating and emotionally draining things I think we women can go through. It has thoroughly tested my patience (which I'm not graced with a lot of) and strength! I think it has turned strengthen my faith though, as i am praying as much if more than when my husband was deployed to Iraq.
I hope you start to feel better soon. I'll be thinking about you and praying for you<3
I hope you start to feel better soon. I'll be thinking about you and praying for you<3
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