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I'm really missing my son tonight...

I'm thinking about my boy tonight. I spent a few hours with our friends/neighbors who are expecting a little girl in February. I always feel a little sad when we come home from seeing them. She showed me her naked belly and I felt it. She showed me all the new baby clothes she got. I think it was the baby clothes that made me so sad. It makes it so real. I'm missing my son a lot tonight. He would have been just under 2. He was due on December 21st. For the most part, I'm over the loss of him, but sometimes it still really gets me right in the heart. I still love him so much. He should not have been taken away from us. We still love him so much.

We miss you, Aidan...
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Avatar universal
OMG!!!! I just realized you lost your baby boy, Aiden.... that is my favorite boy's name,,, if I ever have one.... which does not seem too realistic at this time :(

I am SO sorry.... I wish we could meet someday.... we live so close....hang in there.... Im sending you a BIG HUG!!!! the day is SO BAD too.... it's not like you can go for a walk,,,, but your hubby could spoil you... this is very hard for him too but men feel they need to be strong for us.. otherwise we will all collapsed.... which is not so bad since it happens once in a while..... you have eachother  and it seems that the love is great so hold on to that!!!! he will love you no matter what... sometimes this fertility thing makes you question your womanhood but it does not matter!!!! We are AWESOME!!!!!

HUGS

Mariana
Helpful - 0
631676 tn?1333718203
Sue our feelings of loss get amplified with BFN and AF hormones. PMS and TTC do not mix. You just have to ride out the wave. Big hug. I wish I could email a big pan of lasagna and chicken cutlets to you & Rob. That's what my family does - cook when we are powerless to help :)
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Avatar universal
I'm so sad today. I haven't felt like this in a really long time. I think I'm going to give up trying to get pregnant altogether and focus on adoption.
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Avatar universal
oh Sue, this is so hard.  I cannot imagine what you are going thru, like usuk said you don't have to have a belly to have a baby, I had decided that if the second IVF did not work, adoption would be my other option.  But you are doing all the right things and I am sure you will have your own baby soon, while a part of you will always miss Aidan but maybe when you are playing with your baby, your heart will be eased of the pain a bit.  I am praying for you.
Helpful - 0
631676 tn?1333718203
Sue I am so sorry. You are so strong for missing him and not hiding from her to lick your wounds so to speak. I know what it is like. I still have my  U/S in the car with my little boy on it. It's in an envelope with my maternity hospital instructions, etc. It's hidden with all the "maps" in the big pocket. Still have clothes, teddy bears, baby naming books, etc. You have to keep them and move on at the same time. I watched the woman sitting 5 feet from me have my pregnancy. We were 1/2 week apart. Every inch she grew and every symptom and phone call she got was supposed to be for us too. We lost two why couldn't we just have the 3rd right? And now everyday it's how cute he is and how he is so good and sleeps and never cries. Salt in the wound every day for 8 hours. But I have not died yet or robbed a Babies R Us so I guess I am staying on top of it. You are too. Believe me you are stronger than I am. We both have said we want the baby and do not need to have the belly (adoption). We both know what our 4 moms went through - the two who gave away and the two who received. You WILL be on the receiving end in some way. XOXOXOX
Helpful - 0
330481 tn?1309488243
Ohhhh sue sue - why didn't you text me or call me? I am so sorry it is hitting you again. I hate that you are hurting. No one except those who have lost a child in the way you did will ever know the pain you go through, but please know that we all love you and Rob loves you and Traveler loves you and I LOVE YOU!!! Text me tonight - we can talk. HUGS and Love and SSBD coming at your ovaries!


Jen
Helpful - 0
588676 tn?1317820597
I completely understand. This is only a natural feeling we will always experience due to our loss.  Of course the grief is not as intense as it was when it first happened, but we will forever long for our angels because of the unknown.  We see children and wonder what our angels would have looked like, their personality, their likes and dislikes, etc. I still have yet to attend someone's baby shower because I do not want to cause a scene if I get emotional.  Even when we go on to have other children I believe our heart will still have a special place for our baby angels.  And that is ok. Continue to be optimistic.  Your time will come again.  I am praying for you and Houston79 all the time.  Take care 'cause I care:)
Helpful - 0
958842 tn?1266512599
Oh sue, I'm so sorry you're feeling so sad right now.  I really cannot imagine what you have been through.
It's ok to feel this way, in fact it would be very strange if you didn't.  I know you will see him again, he will always be your son,& you guys will have the chance to raise him in the next life;)
I hope you will feel better soon, & I really hope you get pg  again, & deliver a healthy baby SUPER soon!!!!
lots of XxXxXxXxXx's, L
Helpful - 0
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